Classic joke: Cheating couples are more fun.

1. My wife's best friend came to my house with her 4-year-old son. I have nothing to tease her son: What's the difference between your parents?

"Dad has a gun, but Mom doesn't."

"How clever, you know!"

The wife's girlfriend immediately explained: Don't get me wrong, the father of the child is a policeman.

2. Master of ceremonies: Groom, are you sure you want to marry her, and do you still have to endure the embarrassment and taste of taking out private money from the insole in your underwear when you eat with your buddies in the future?

Groom: I'd love to!

MC: Bride, are you sure you want to marry him? After seeing her good friend's husband give her a new LV bag, why don't you go home and scold her husband as a loser?

Bride: I'd love to!

MC: All right ~ You are all fucking thieves. Let's finish it quickly!

3. Accompany your girlfriend to the bridal shop to try on the bridesmaid's dress. There is a couple next to them, and they are also trying. The bride took a fancy to a wedding dress and made a counter-offer with her boss. After chatting for a long time, the bride suddenly said, "Boss, you are cheap. I will rent it from you next time! "

The groom sitting there drinking tea is shaking hands. . .

4, the second-hand daughter-in-law saw that the sanitary napkins bought by the group were too cheap, and bought a big box at once, saying that it was enough for almost a year!

No, it's only useful if one is pregnant!

Now I use disposable sanitary napkins to clean tables, floors and windows, which is convenient and hygienic, especially clean!

5. Me: "Wife, it's an idol movie before you take off your makeup, and it's a horror movie after you take off your makeup!"

Wife: "hello, before I slept with you, I thought you were a restricted blockbuster." After sleeping with you, I knew it was an cartoon! " "

6. My wife told me with a big pomegranate: Honey, does this pomegranate have 500 seeds?

I said, how is that possible?

She said yes.

I made a bet with her that whoever lost would do the housework, and then I took a plate and peeled it carefully. . .

As a result, the bitch grabbed it before she finished peeling it, and said thank you. . .

7. A buddy quarreled with his wife and wanted to give her a necklace to forgive her, but he didn't know how big she was wearing. She got up in the middle of the night and measured her with a rope, but she woke up. . .

Stop it! Take him to the hospital! !

8. Chatting with my daughter-in-law to coax a woman, I said: I really won't coax a woman to be happy, and I won't coax you every time.

Daughter-in-law: Actually, we girls are easy to fool. If there is no star, it is ok to fool two diamonds. . .

9. A friend, who started to borrow money six months before marriage, went around looking for friends to lend money to others; After marriage, the financial power is monopolized by the wife. . .

Then he asks for it as soon as he has no money, and life is so chic.

10, female a: "after being married for so long, do you think your husband will still feel his heart beating faster?"

Woman B: "Yes! Afraid he'll suddenly ask me where the money went? ! I don't know where the fucking money went! Anyway, it is gone! "