March 8 international women's day joke

Woman on the stage: meeting, meeting, alas, I'm so busy, what's the meeting? The women are in a meeting. Do any of the following women want to attend the meeting? Hey,

Come on, come on.

Several women came up: coming, coming.

Woman: Is everyone here? Sit down quickly. Hey, where's widow Wang? Maybe she went to sit on the stage again. Go find her. (Shout together)

Wang: Right, right.

Woman: What did you do?

Wang: You're welcome. I am very busy.

W: What are you up to?

Wang: My pig was born.

Woman: Oh, this is a happy event.

Wang: Yes, I gave birth to eight. I'm breast-feeding them.

W: Are you breast-feeding? Just you? (pointing up at her)

Wang: No, I milk sows and feed piglets.

Woman: Does that little pig grow well?

Wang: This little pig is really beautiful, like our village head.

Woman: OK, OK, alas, the village chief hasn't come yet. I'll take this seat first (Say together: Sit down) This village head is very comfortable.

Village head: Ahem, (walked around the court, walked behind the women's director, ahem, the women's director got up quickly) (said together: the village head is coming. Country holiday

Pretend not to hear)

Woman: Here comes the village chief. Sit down, village head.

Village head: Is the village head comfortable? Go back and sit aside. Sit down and light a cigarette, then take off your socks and touch your feet there. Say it together: it stinks. )

Why, why, everyone is here, getting ready for the meeting. Let's talk about weather forecast before the meeting. Yesterday was sunny, and so was the day before yesterday.

Say together: We need to know today and tomorrow.

Village head: It's bright during the day and dark at night today. You women who are afraid of the dark should never go out. If something happens, it's not my village head.

It's all because of the moon. Today, the wind is one or two, two or three at most, no more than four or five, no more than six or seven, and no more than seven or eight.

The wind direction is from east to west, west to south, south to north, and north to red. As long as there is no hurry, it is a good wind.

Say together: say what, play cards.

Village head: the county will come to our village to watch the literary evening. Is your program ready? Tell me, director of women.

Woman: Village head, we are almost ready.

Village head: Did you hold a welcoming ceremony?

Woman: No.

Village: I knew it wasn't you. Stand up, I'll teach you, like this, welcome, warm welcome, welcome, endless welcome,

That's it. You do it again. (Learn to do it again)

Woman: Village head, your wife is here.

Villager: Hey, what is she doing here? In fact, as we all know, I have a wife as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade, not because I don't let her go out, nor because I am afraid of being seduced by others.

She is afraid that she will seduce others.

Woman: What is he saying here? (grabs his ear)

Village: Oh, what are you doing? Give me some face. At least I'm the village head. Hurry home. Go and see if the people from the county have come (continue)

It's coming, it's coming.

All rise: welcome, welcome, welcome, endless welcome.

County people came on stage: ah, good, good, good, stop, stop, stop. Well, I'm from the county magistrate. I came by plane and got on the tractor.

Come and ride your female directors, (Ah! ) The bike is here. (oh! ) Finally, your female directors and I goo goo into the sorghum field.

(ah! ) glug out of the water, (ah! ) the yield of rice. (oh! ) Ah, I'm busy. Who is the village head?

Say together: this is the village head.

Then the people in the county went over to hold a young lady's hand and said, you are the village head, and the little girl's hands are quite white.

Then the village head came over: Leader, I'm the village head, please sit down. (People in the county sit down) You are tired. Wipe the sweat. (Take out your own.

The smelly socks were given to the people in the county, and they didn't look at them. They picked them up and wiped them. When they smell socks, they say, what is this? Village head favour say)

Sorry, sorry, I took it by mistake.

County: OK, OK, how is your project going?

Village: Almost.

County: Then show me.

Village: Right, right. Director of women, how is your program? Come on, who will perform?

Say it together: widow Wang. (Push her out)

Wang: Good leader, good leader. I'll go first. Ah ... (falling down with fear) It's called expressing feelings. The Yangtze River is really long for you.

The Yellow River is so yellow and the sea is so big. A man has three legs and a woman has two mouths.

Scared to pull her down together: stop, stop.

County magistrate: Village head, this is your program. What? Anything else?

Village head: Also, also, you two sisters come out.

The two girls came out and went to the front to practice their vocalization: Ah … (Then they sang I love Tiananmen Square in Beijing, and then "All kinds of customs" began to play music and went to the county people.

In front of him, I felt around him. )

County magistrate: What's the matter with you? Don't you dare seduce national cadres and village heads. What happened?

Village: Oh, forget it. You do it, director of women. (Introducing the Women's Director)

W: Then I sang. My family lives on a high loess slope, and my mother's cousin lives on the slope. They secretly gave birth to me before they got married. ah ...

ah ...

County magistrate: What a mess, huh? ...

Villager: You, what are you still standing here for? Get out! (All over) Leader, leader, wait a minute, I have a program, wait for me,

I want to change.

County: Right, right. (Then say a few words on it)

(Dancer takes the stage) The music "Sing this song" begins, and the village head takes the lead in dancing. After the dance, the people in the county said: good, good, what else?

Village head: Also, please continue to watch the following program.

end

Meeting 2

The village chief appeared, sat down and asked, where's my secretary adzuki? Say it together (I didn't see it, maybe I'll sit somewhere on the stage)

Village head: "Go and find him (together, Xiaodou, Xiaodou)."

Bean: Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming.

Village head: Where have you been (to see if people from the county have come).

Adzuki bean: I see (I am coming). Get up and stand aside.

Village head: Welcome to start.

People in the county hold adzuki bean's hand, and the little girl's hand is quite white.

Village head: Why are you still standing here? Get out.

County people: You all go, you stay and point to adzuki bean. The village chief thinks he is talking about him, so turn around immediately.

County people: I said she wasn't you, pointing to adzuki bean. The village chief said: adzuki bean, you should take care and go down.

County people: Doudou, I know a director. He still needs a heroine. Do you want to go?

Doug: Sure, but I can't act.

County people: Never mind, practice now.

Adzuki bean: OK then.

County people: Let me tell you about the play first. Here's the thing. This man and this woman haven't seen each other for a long time. Hug each other from both sides as soon as we meet.

(start)

Adzuki bean: So, I know.

County Citizen: Bean, dear bean, I'm back at last.

Adzuki bean: Ah, ah, ah.

County People: What are you doing?

Doug: How do I know your name?

County people: By the way, I forgot that your name is Xiao Dou, so I'll call it Da Gun.

Adzuki bean: I see (again)

County people: Doudou, dear, I'm finally back (together). Bean gave him a slap in the face.

Beans: Ah, cannon song, cannon song.

County People: Why did you hit me?

Beans: What do you want?

County People: Bean, honey, I'm finally back (walking towards the middle).

Adzuki waved to the bottom, and the village chief came up. People in the county touch the feet of the village chief, and a lot of hair is so sexy. Touch the middle of the village head while touching it up. How to talk to them?

What about me? When I opened my eyes, it was the village head (ah)

Village head: Kick him to the ground with one foot: "Folks, come and beat this pervert, gather together, hit him with something and run down.