A humorous story with dialogue.

Joke is a Chinese vocabulary, which means something that makes people laugh. Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following is a humorous story with dialogue that I collected. Welcome to share.

1, exam

The son of a rich family went to take an exam, and his father gave him a test in advance. He got good grades and thought he would be admitted. Unexpectedly, there is no son's name on the list. Father hurried to the county magistrate for trial. The magistrate turned to look at the scroll and saw a faint mist on it, but there were no words.

As soon as dad got home, he scolded, "Why is your paper so ugly?"

My son cried and said, "No one grinds ink for me in the examination room, so I have to dip my pen in water and write on the inkstone."

2, the old lady chanting Buddha

An old lady, with several beads in her hand, chanted Buddha and shouted, "Han, Han, there are too many ants in the pot. I hate it. Please burn them with fire for me. " Then read: "Buddha, Amitabha." Then he shouted, "Han, Han, help me take the ashes off the bottom of the pot." Don't use your own dustpan, because if it burns out, borrow it from your neighbor's house. " Remember, remember. Amitabha, Amitabha. "

3. Never be a vegetarian

Monks visit people. Seeing him like this, the master asked, "Master, do you drink?"

The monk smiled and said, "Drink a little wine, but never be a vegetarian."

4. Except idiots

A man complained to the county magistrate, "I lost a hoe tomorrow, please ask my master to find it."

The county magistrate asked, "you slave! I lost my hoe tomorrow. Why didn't you report it yesterday? "

The beadle beside him couldn't help laughing. The magistrate immediately closed the case and said, "You must have stolen the hoe! What did you steal? "

The deacon replied, "I want to get rid of that idiot."

The old man is very sad.

There was an old man who was very rich. On the occasion of the centenary birthday, the birthday banquet was full of guests, but the old man was very unhappy.

Everyone asked him, "You are so blessed, what are you worried about?"

The old man replied, "I'm not worried about anything, but I'm worried that hundreds of thousands of people will come to congratulate me when I celebrate my 200th birthday. How can I remember them one by one? "

Step 6 get a bargain

A man is playing outside the door with his son in his arms. The neighbor jokingly said: "The blood of father and son is really passed down from one vein. Just look at your son. His face is really the same as mine. "

The man holding the child said, "Yes, you and the child are brothers born to a woman. How can your faces be different? "

7. Heartbroken.

There are two little people who have poisonous sores on their backs and seek medical treatment. After reading one, the doctor looked at the second one, pretended to be scared and said, "His heart is worse, but it can be cured." Your heart is so bad and rotten, how can I cure it? "

8. Sparrows treat

One day, the sparrow invited the birds to drink. It said to the kingfisher, "If you wear such bright clothes, naturally please sit on the table."

He said to the eagle, "although you are big, you have to be wronged to sit at the next table in black and ugly clothes."

The eagle replied, "You slave, why are you so snobbish?" ! "

The sparrow replied, "No one in the world knows that I am a small-minded sparrow."

9. Animals bully the poor

A man asked a beggar, "Why do dogs bite when they see you?"

The beggar replied, "If I have a good coat and hat to wear, the animals will respect me."

10, emperor's clothes

A beggar came back from Beijing and boasted that he had seen the emperor. Others asked him, "What clothes does the emperor wear?"

Answer: "I wear a hat carved from white jade and a golden robe."

Q: "How can you bow in a robe?"

The beggar spat at him and said, "Haha, I really don't understand the world! Now that you are the emperor, who do you bow to? "

1 1, afraid of drowning in wine

When guests enter the store to buy wine, they will say the word "Dun" after drinking, and they will talk endlessly. Others asked, "I think it's because I drank too much wine." Are you afraid of having loose bowels and going to squat down to go to the toilet? "

The man pointed to the glass and said, "No, I just want a chopping block so that I can climb up and not drown in this thin water."

12, signboard painting knife

The owner of the hotel had his shop sign written. After that, the man scratched a knife on it.

The boss asked in surprise, "What do you mean by drawing a sword?"

Answer: "I want to kill the steam in the wine with this knife!" " "

13, step flat gourd

Make a rule: any guest who comes to buy wine and eat wine will be punished and tied to a wooden post as long as he says the wine is sour.

One day, a Taoist priest walked into the shop with a big gourd on his back. When he saw a man tied to a wooden post, he asked why. The boss replied, "He cheated me of sour wine, so he was punished."

The Taoist priest said, "Please give me a cup to taste." The shopkeeper brought the wine, and the Taoist priest took only one sip and ran away in a hurry.

The boss was very happy because he didn't say the wine was sour. He cried, "You forgot the gourd."

The Taoist priest ran away and said, "I don't want it. I don't want it. You'd better keep it as a vinegar sign. "

14, banner

There is a family in Huizhou who has been litigating with others all the year round. They are both resentful and bored. On New Year's Eve, the father and son discussed: "We should all say something auspicious next year, so as to bless the good luck in the coming year and avoid lawsuits."

The sons said, "Dad, you say something first."

Father said, "Good year."

The eldest son replied, "Less bad luck."

The younger son also said, "No lawsuit."

They asked someone to write a banner with three words (1 1) and put it on the nave, asking their families to recite it in a clear voice from time to time for good luck.

Early in the morning, the son-in-law came to pay a New Year call. When he went to the hall and looked up at the banner, the clear voice wrote: "This year is very unlucky, and there are many lawsuits."

The father and son were so anxious that they said, "Bad luck, bad luck!"

15, scold fart

A group of friends were sitting together when someone suddenly farted. I don't know who it is. Everyone suspects someone and blames him. Actually, the man didn't fart, didn't refute, just laughed.

They asked, "What's so funny?"

Answer: "The one who laughs fart still scolds me with everyone."

16, "paid off" every year

A man borrowed 6 taels of silver from someone, and agreed that the interest would be 5 cents in January and February and 3 taels at the end of the year. At the end of one year, the borrower asked the creditor to repay 4 yuan's money and exchange it for an IOU of 10, and the creditor agreed.

At the end of the second year, according to the calculation of 10 Liang, the interest should be 6 Liang, and the person was unable to repay it, so he asked for another 4 Liang and changed it to 20 Liang IOU, and the creditor agreed.

At the end of the third year, at the interest rate of 20 taels, even with the principal and interest of 32 taels, he didn't pay it, so he asked for 8 taels of change and another 40 taels of IOU. The creditor hesitated, and the borrower got angry and said, "You have no conscience! When you borrowed your principal and interest, you didn't count it clearly. All you got was small change. Why are you unhappy? "

17, giraffe's long neck

The giraffe said, "Rabbit, how nice it is to have a long neck. I really hope that you can know that with a long neck, delicious things will slowly pass through the long neck, and delicious things can be enjoyed for a long time. "

The rabbit looked at him blankly.

Giraffe went on to say, "Besides, in summer, the cold water slowly flows through my long neck. It's delicious." What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? "

The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

18, have been enemies.

On a dark night, a woman with long hair in white was sitting in the last seat of the last bus.

The bus was moving forward, and the driver glanced at the rearview mirror and suddenly found that the woman was gone. He quickly braked and opened his eyes to look carefully. The woman appeared again, and the driver's heart beat faster.

After a while, he took another look in the rearview mirror and found that the woman was gone again. He braked quickly, but stopped for a while, and he saw the woman covered in blood! The driver turned pale with fear and his legs were weak, but he heard the woman say, "Brother, I have a grudge against you. As soon as I tie my shoelaces, you step on the brakes. "