Funny jokes humor

A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a crocodile crawled over and planned to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko stepped forward and hugged the crocodile's leg, shouting loudly: "Mom!" The crocodile was stunned and immediately burst into tears: "Son, you have become so thin after just half a month of stock trading. ? ”

The first time I took a plane, I was afraid and didn’t dare to open my eyes. After 15 minutes, I opened my eyes and looked out the window and shouted: “Oh, it’s flying so high, everyone looks like ants.” Same. ”

The neighbor said: “That’s the ant, the plane hasn’t taken off yet”

A lumberjack went to apply for a job

Foreman: The one in front. Go try it out in the woods... See how many trees you can saw in one minute...

A minute later...

Foreman: Wow... .20 trees per minute...that's amazing...where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara Forest...

Foreman: Never heard of it...I only heard of Sahara Desert...

Worker: Yes...I changed my name later!

After get off work at the company, several computers gather together to play Landlord, and they also play at the water fountain. He loses every time but still insists on participating every day. Sofa didn't understand very well and asked the chair: Why are you still fighting so hard when the water dispenser loses every day? The chair said, "Asking this kind of question, is your head filled with water?

There are 5 eggs in the refrigerator. The first one said to the second one: Hey, look, the fifth egg has fluff. Oh~~It’s so scary~!

The second one said to the third one: Look~the fifth egg is hairy~~It’s so scary!

< p>The third one said to the fourth one: Look, the fifth egg is furry. . . The fifth egg heard: I’m a kiwi~ ! !

Xiao Ming: “Wow, why is your face so swollen? ”

Xiao Le: “Oh, yesterday I was bitten by a mosquito while boating with my dad. . . ”

Xiao Ming: “The swelling is so severe, you must have been bitten by it for a long time, right?” "

Xiao Le: "As soon as it landed on my face, my father beat it to death with a paddle. "

Xiao Ming: "! ! ! "

A little tiger slowly walked over and asked the little squirrel with a red face: "Excuse me, can I eat you?" "

The little squirrel thought this question was quite funny and said: "Is this your first time eating animals? "

The little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, "Yes, mother is not at home anymore." ”

The little squirrel asked curiously: “Then what did you eat before?” "

"..."

"What? Speak louder, I can't hear you. ”

“Eating milk! After saying that, the little tiger's face turned even redder.

A man passed by the wheat field and found a cow without horns, and asked the farmer: "Why does this cow have no horns?" "

The farmer said: "There are many reasons why cows don't have horns. Some are due to genetics, some are lost due to illness, and some are lost due to contact with other cows. This cow has no horns because it is a donkey. ”