Funny China jokes are homophonic.

Homophonic Xiehouyu Confucius was moved-lost (book) green onion mixed with tofu-fried tofu with two white pickles-said (salt) first, my nephew played lanterns-and put lime on my uncle's mouth-said (brushed) hardcover Maotai for a long time (wine)

Pig Bajie takes a photo-asking for trouble (watching) with a small pocket in his arms-Shu (combing) and his father-always losing (Su) four taels of cotton-not to mention (playing) military adviser-no need (Wu)12356-nothing (4)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven-Wang (forgot). ) One foot two plus eight feet-Shit (two feet)

Two lines pop up in the bucket-Si Road does not spread a cake for a catty of flour-backward (thick) planted in the charcoal pile-mold (coal) to the top.

Steamed a peach with 100 kg flour-a waste (waste) snack.

A jacket made of cloth-it's all in it anyway. Who has the most right to wear this coat? ) pants with one leg-a ball (skirt) and a lamp-have no two hearts (cores)

Being a widow for life-an old hand (Shou), (Who are the "lifelong widows" on the Internet? )

Twenty-five beams-half mad (sealed) 2345- lack of clothes (1)

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine-lack of clothes (1) eat less cotton and bow four times-talk about (playing with) combing the second girl's hair-don't (grate)

Twelve hours accounts for three words-Gong E, 18 years old, exhausted-enjoying happiness (thinking of her husband) and losing a penny-the long-heard moonlight (nine articles) and fifteen-a lot (bright).

Mulberry leaves in October-who will pay attention to you? (The best way to deal with smoke bombs) An 80-year-old woman yawns-walnuts in August are endless-and people (benevolence) are crowded.

Wearing a string of 800 copper coins-out of tune (hanging) on the eighth day of September-fast (9) knife cutting Yuanxiao-unwilling to wear light clothes for three or nine days-intimidation (fear)

Homophonic ancient poem Yang Liuzhi Wen Tingyun

Light a candle at the bottom of the well and you can play Go together. Do you know the red beans in linglong dice?

Bamboo branch Liu Yuxi

The willows in Jiang Shuiping are green, and I can hear the songs on the Langjiang River.

Rain in the east, sunrise in the east, said it was not sunny, but it was still sunny. (Sunshine-Affection)

Two apes fall into the mountains, how dare the little monkey get stuck in the mud, and how can the old beast get out of the hoof?

When two ships are in harmony, rowing speed (Lu Su) is not as fast as sailing speed (Fan Kuai). How can the flute (Di Qing) be better than Xiao He (Xiao He)?

Living in a pagoda and looking at Kong Ming, I hate Jiang Wei (Jiang Wei) who is really difficult to walk in a cage (Lu Bu). My mind is in the nest (Cao Cao). I hate Guan Yu and Zhang Fei.

Lantern lanterns, paper (orange) shells were originally just windproof drums, and dried tangerine peel could not knock for half a day (summer)

The river is green, and there are songs on the Langjiang River.

When the East rises and the West falls, the Tao is sunny (heartless) and sunny (affectionate).

Lantern lanterns, paper (orange) shells were originally just windproof drums, and dried tangerine peel could not knock for half a day (summer)

Confucius was born on the weekend of the week.

Light dance (martial arts) began in Hanzhong (light dance: lightning; Hanzhong: the sky)

Dogs gnaw at river bones (monks)-Su Shi's poems (corpses) flowing water Dongpo-Fo Yin

Su Shi-the first spring of Xiangyang family.

Go beyond it (Fish) Celebrate the Good Man-Fo Yin.

Homophonic couplet: Where is the lotus inserted when the monk crosses the river? Part II: Assistant Minister travels around the world. Who planted persimmon trees in front of him?

Xinlian: The members are deeply impressed, and the prestige on their faces is outrageous! (heartless)

Part one: What is a director, what is a director and why?

The first part: Mr. Mo grinds ink, and Mr. Mo splashes ink. Bottom line: one incense burns coal, and the coal explodes one incense and two eyebrows. Bottom line: The shepherd boy cut wood, and the wood hurt the shepherd boy's eyes.

The first part: the tung tree on the tree, the boy under the tree, the boy playing with the tung tree, and the tung tree that fell on the boy. Bottom line: outside the front garden, inside the house, outside the garden, outside the garden, outside the garden, outside the garden, outside the garden, outside the net.

Xinlian: In the back porch of the courtyard, there is a doctor in the courtyard, a doctor in the corridor, and a doctor in the corridor, which is carefree. (heartless)

The first part: peach leaves, grape leaves and herbaceous woody plants. Bottom line: plum blossom, osmanthus rose, spring fragrance and autumn fragrance.

The first part: Who pities widows when the first frost comes? Part II: Jade Valley in Grain Rain, I cherish my girl's loneliness and cold.

Part I: The pagoda has six or seven floors, and it accommodates cranes. Bottom line: The book has 12 pages, in which the spring and autumn are recorded.

New couplet: four or five strokes of genealogy, written to Laozi. (heartless)

Part I: Wheat seeds are irrigated in heavy rain. Bottom line: Tian He in the dry highlands must do it.

Note: this homonym is summer heavy rain; Mozi philosopher in the Spring and Autumn Period (Mai and Homophony); Guan Zhong: a figure in the Spring and Autumn Period; Gaudi: Emperor Gaozu Liu Bang; Tian He, Master of the Book of Changes in the Early Han Dynasty, Bigan, Minister of Shang and Zhou Dynasties.

Part I: Mud, fertilizer and grain are still thin. Bottom line: short nights are long.

Note: Is this couplet homophonic? Fat and thin? ; ? Ghost short hag long? .

The first part: enjoy the plum blossom and sweep the wax snow alone. Part II: The mountains are dancing and flowing.

Note: the beauty of this couplet lies in its urgent reading, such as the scale:? Dolemi Farsolasi？ . The second part is reading numbers in dialects:? One two three four five six seven? .

Play homophonic jokes at the sight of chickens.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved to eat chicken. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first. There was a tenant named Zhang San who paid the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented out the land the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and told the landlord about renting the land the next year after paying the rent. He insisted on empty hands and looked at the sky.

As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to? Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly! \

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was' nonsense (chicken talk)', and now it is said by accident. \

Ears are here.

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang his son, he said to his master, "Go and buy me two bamboo poles." As soon as the master heard that the "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect was "pig liver", he quickly agreed and ran to the butcher's shop and said, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pig livers. You are a clever man.

You should know it! \

The shopkeeper, a clever man, immediately cut off two pieces of pig liver and presented a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "My owner told me to buy pork liver. Of course this pig ear is mine." ... \ So he wrapped his hunting ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Go back to the county government and report to the magistrate: "Report back to Grandpa, I bought the pig liver! \

When the magistrate saw that his master had bought pig liver, he said angrily, "Where are your ears?" ! Hearing this, Bao Bao turned pale with fear and quickly replied, "Ears! ... ears ... here ... in my ... my pocket! \

Have a chance.

A commodity salesman went to Guangzhou on business. After he arrives in Beijing, he wants to go there by plane. Afraid that the manager wouldn't agree to the reimbursement, he sent a telegram to the manager: "If there is an opportunity, take it or not." The manager thought it was an opportunity to clinch a deal and immediately called back: "If you can take it, take it. \

The salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, and the manager refused to reimburse the air ticket expenses on the grounds that he was not qualified to fly. The salesman took out his manager's call back and the manager was dumbfounded.

Geographical name correlation

On New Year's Eve, my brother took two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One is cheerful and the other is more formal.

During the dinner, this cheerful classmate smiled and said to us, "He is from Myanmar, so he is shy." Then he raised his glass to propose a toast to everyone, raised his head and gulped it down, then said, "I'm from Yangon. \

The headmaster is angry.

At the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester, the headmaster was furious at the inefficiency of personnel management. He said: "the person in charge of the director's business is not sensible; The consciousness of personnel management is not strong; As an officer, I won't do it! \

Rural conference

At a meeting in the village, due to homophonic, the village head said: \ Rabbit, shrimp, don't burn melons, pickles are too expensive. Comrades and villagers, don't talk. Now the meeting is over. The host said: \ Sausages paste melons and invite pickles. Now, please talk to the township head. ) The township head said, \ Rabbit, shrimp, there is a meeting today.

Homophonic crossword puzzles are inseparable. The answer is: it doesn't rain in Kajiulei, the answer is: there are a thousand words in the sky, and the answer is: enough.

A thousand miles of marriage is a thread. Guess a word, and the answer is: heavy.

There are bamboo forests on the soil and gold under the soil. The answer in one sentence is: the big man chooses the small man, the answer in one sentence is: the gentleman is second to none, and the answer in one sentence is: heaven.

Big head, careless, small body, guess a word, the answer is: Beijing heavy rain falls on Hengshan, guess a word, the answer is: Snow Girl, guess a word, the answer is: wonderful.

Mountain after mountain. Guess a word: Go out, Yue, and don't talk. Guess a word: kiss an unreasonable person, guess a word: land.

There is no mouth in the middle. Guess the answer is: autumn night is cloudy, guess the answer is: speak Chinese, guess the answer is: wow, kiss each other, guess the answer is: Lu.

Fifty pairs of ears, guess a word and the answer is: Mo.

Go home in five days, plant a tree outside, guess a word, the answer is: 60 is less than 80, guess a word, the answer is: public and forget private, guess a word, the answer is: 80% is inversely proportional, guess a word, the answer is: North.

There are no two in the sky, and every family has a bite. The answer to guessing words is: every day someone guesses a word, and the answer is: unlucky.

Where is madam going? Guess the answer is: mistress, guess the answer is: husband

Sun Wang, guess a word and the answer is: Wang.

The sun sets in the west and the moon hangs in the east. Guess the answer is: the sun will hang on the top of the tree tomorrow. Guess the answer is: If Confucius climbs the mountain, guess the answer is: Yue.

Kongming set an empty plan, Su Qin can say that the six countries are equal, Liulang wants to kill his own son, and Zongbao will not give up Mu Guiying. Guess the answer is: clever words.

My heart ached. I guess the answer is: I will never put it down. The answer is: roll up my handbag and guess a word. The answer is: unarmed and guess a word. The answer is: control Wenwu, guess a word, the answer is: Bing dialect, guess a word, the answer is: ring.

The sky is straight, not a little, and the answer is: God.

The days are long and the months are short, and the battle between left and right. One is positive and the other is negative. Guess a word. The answer is: day after day, guess a word. The answer is: Chang.