Son, may you be treated gently by the world.

Before you were born, I imagined you countless times.

In my dream, even if you are held by me, you are a stubborn and proud girl.

I have arranged your plans after birth, including when to learn piano, English and early education classes ... How can a competitive mother like me make your life lag behind? ...

There is a large myoma of more than 5 cm between the muscle walls in the early pregnancy, but it does not affect your implantation at all. Your father and I welcomed your little life as scheduled.

I didn't tell you the truth when I was NT, and I was not afraid of your jokes. Seeing that fluffy little meatball, I was so excited that I shed tears.

Everything went well in the early pregnancy, even the legendary morning sickness did not exist, and everything went well, just like the calm before the storm.

I'm still working normally. Once the elevator broke down, I climbed six floors in one breath, kept squatting in the public toilet, and even drank less water to avoid going to the toilet twice ... now I want to die when I think about it. At that time, I was catching up with the renovation of the unit outpatient building. Every day, there is nothing but noise and dust. How do you stand such an environment? ...

I secretly went to have a color Doppler ultrasound. As I expected, you are really a little cotton-padded jacket. I can't wait to dream that you are wearing a white skirt and taking a photo with me. ...

Son, you must have a pair of big sparkling eyes ~

This turning point occurred when doing four dimensions, even if Tang starred, it was high-risk, which was nothing for later things.

Four-dimensional did it five times, and you kept lying down. I privately laugh at how lazy you are.

It was not until the sixth time that the doctor told me the seriousness of the situation. Oligohydramnios, huge fibroids are pressing you over, and there is a risk of fetal arrest at any time. ...

Countless bolt from the blue Lacrimosa, you have been six months! In fact, from the beginning of edema, I had an ominous premonition in my heart, but I didn't expect the reality to be so unbearable.

I was hospitalized for you for the first time in my life.

I am most afraid of injections. When I was a child, I used to coax your grandfather to go to the hospital every time I got an injection. When I got to the clinic, I began to cry. This time, I not only had an injection, but also played for more than ten hours a day. My arm is swollen and a blood vessel has been knocked out. The indwelling needle really hurts, thick and painful!

But the hardest thing is to feel bad. The doctor said that you are likely to have defects, and suggested that I go to a higher hospital for cord blood puncture diagnosis.

Forgive my mother for doubting you until one of my colleagues came to see me in the hospital.

Auntie just had amniocentesis and induced labor because she found out that the baby had congenital defects. I asked her what she thought of induced labor. My memory is very deep, and her eyes are full of tears. She said that she injected a medicine into her stomach, and then she felt the baby writhing in pain until it stopped moving, and then she gave birth to a decent stillbirth. I listened with my mouth open. To be honest, I was shocked! I can't let you suffer like that!

Even if you are born with a problem, at least you can get my love and feel the warmth of this world! At that moment, I decided to give birth to you!

And no matter what prenatal diagnosis, any diagnosis means nothing to me. I have made this decision in my mind. I'd rather believe it's my problem, placenta previa, hypothyroidism and low protein. ...

24 weeks, do it again, wait until 28 weeks, baby, then you will have hope of survival!

I left the hospital and went home. The doctor said the treatment didn't make much sense. Spend every day in fear. I desperately drink water and soy milk.

It's sunny every morning when you can feel the fetal movement. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, turn over on purpose, feel that you are moving, and fall asleep happily.

Every time I go to the hospital for reexamination, it is a torment. Every time I come out of the color ultrasound room, the long corridor seems endless. I don't think my legs can walk. I can only feel the distant lights and your father's expectant eyes. ...

You are so strong, your amniotic fluid index is only 3.4, and you still persist in living and miraculously get better. The amniotic fluid keeps increasing, and I even begin to suspect that everything was in my dream.

But there is no time to celebrate this surprise, which brings new problems. It may be because of lack of amniotic fluid, low placenta, or something wrong with yourself, which leads to a serious lag in development. The doctor said that if you are below 3 percentile, you can be diagnosed as growth restriction. That is to say, if there are a hundred newborns, the hundredth is overweight, but it is rare, 10 kilograms, and the first one is underweight, just like you.

Mom can only smile bitterly. She once dreamed about how many first prizes you won, but I didn't expect the first first prize to be so sad!

I change to a different doctor for every physical examination. I am afraid that the same doctor will open the same scar every time and destroy my confidence. But all shrugged without exception: growth restriction, uterine fibroids, placenta previa, how can you have this child? In exchange for your life?

Yes, I will trade my life for it.

I am in danger of bleeding and stillbirth at any time, but even if there is a one-thousandth chance of winning, my mother won't give up on you!

I boasted that I was extremely strong during pregnancy, and even started reading Buddhist scriptures and thinking about the meaning of life. What did I do wrong, and what is the reason, let our mother and daughter go on!

I started to keep a diary to record my feelings. The bright spring outside the window is my favorite season, but now I feel that the sun will never shine in my heart.

At the 39-week reexamination, the sd value of color Doppler ultrasound is high, suggesting that you have intrauterine hypoxia. The doctor advised you to be born early. But at that time, you were only three or four pounds, and you were born in an incubator. It hurts to think about it, but prolonged hypoxia will affect your intelligence.

Fortunately, this dilemma did not last long. You become popular when you go to the toilet in the morning at 39+4. You can't wait to get out! It is said that girls will postpone, and I think you must have stayed enough in that harsh uterine environment. I'm sorry, baby, it's mom who wronged you. ...

About childbirth, I have rehearsed it in my mind countless times when I was pregnant. I don't know how many times I have seen the sharing of pregnant mothers. Always dreamed of a natural birth. After all, my mother is human, especially a woman. On the one hand, she is afraid of pain, on the other hand, she is afraid of leaving ugly and long scars on her stomach. ...

Your fetal heart rate has been above 160 beats/min since you saw red, and the sd value has been increasing continuously. The doctor said that if I choose to have a baby by myself, it will bring you great risks, you will get worse from lack of oxygen, you will suffocate, and you will …

No, it won't! Without hesitation, I chose immediate cesarean section.

Son, you are the most sacred gift from God. The pain of childbirth is so insignificant compared with your birth!

Spinal anesthesia leads to cold and stiff waist and bound hands. The shadowless lamp shines on me and makes me sleepy. Your crying pierced the sky, and a red and hot meatball stuck to my mouth.

Baby, I am your mother, the first mother in the world to look at you, call you first, kiss you first, lie on the cold operating table for you and give her life for you!

When you were born, your weight was very poor, weighing 4.7 kg. Your umbilical cord was wound 80 times and around your neck three times. I can't imagine you curled up in my stomach. ...

But no matter what, we are all lucky, we all survived!

Son, you have been a hundred days. Your smile, your gesture, your first choking cough, your first spitting milk, your first defecation ... have been worried about my heart. ...

You really have big bright eyes.

You are so cute and smart!

Your birth embodies all my love and expectations!

Son, you should learn to be modest and open-minded. Don't be arrogant when you are right, and forgive others when you are right.

Son, you should learn not to pursue a hundred points in everything, leave some room and give yourself a chance to turn over. Life is not perfect, just 80 minutes, as long as you are healthy and happy, as long as you live long, as long as your children and grandchildren are full. ...

Son, mother can only encourage you and give you the courage to overcome difficulties, but it can't replace you to solve them. I can only be your back, not your striker. ...

Son, grow up quickly! I can't wait to share my experience, my pain and happiness with you.

We wear mother-daughter clothes. Can I pretend to be your big sister?

Let's go shopping together. Can you help me see what I look better in?

Let's take a shower together, and you can help me rub my back!

Why don't you teach me how to make up? How about I model your Taobao shop?

What anecdotes are there in your school?

Which boy secretly handed you a love letter?

……

Come and tell mom.

Son, grow up quickly! I want to show you the different customs of the world, and I want to show you the colorful life.

Son, grow up quickly! I want to continue all your happiness and stop all your troubles.

Son, don't grow up ... I don't want you to drift away from me. ...

Motherly love is natural, and one day, you will become a mother. At that time, you will understand my mood now. If I am lucky, I will accompany you to experience the happiness of human relations alternation.

How I want to accompany you all the way through your life and make your life worry-free! If not, there is nothing to regret, because I have tried my best to give you a wonderful life!

Son, may you pass on this kindred fire from generation to generation.

PS。 I have always wanted to share my experience and give some confidence to those pregnant or pregnant sisters. After all, any life is worth cherishing. Being a mother is not easy, but do it and cherish it.

I want to use this article to commemorate the wonderful time when mother and daughter got together that year.