Humorous joke fragments

Introduction: Reading novels is too long? Reading prose is too boring? Sleepy reading ancient poems? Let's watch humorous jokes! Here are some humorous jokes I brought to you. I hope you like them.

The wise man and the donkey

A wise man was walking in the country and saw a donkey grinding in a mill with a string of bells hanging around his neck. So the wise man said to the miller,

? Why do you hang a string of bells around the donkey's neck?

The miller replied, when I doze off, the donkey often slacks off. After hanging the bell, if it doesn't ring, I know the beast is lazy again. ?

The wise man thought for a moment and then asked? If the donkey stays where he is,

Just shake your head and you can hear the bell, and it doesn't ring. What should I do?

The miller paused for a moment and said, Sir, how can I buy a donkey as clever as you?

Win a lot of money

Bill was drunk again, stopped a taxi in Hart Square and said to the driver, "Take me to the Wall Hotel."

The driver replied in surprise. This is the Wall Hotel. ?

? Really? Bill asked again.

? Yes, I won't lie to you. ? The driver answered affirmatively.

So Bill took a 20 yuan bill from his pocket and threw it to the driver. Great, this is for you, but don't drive so fast next time. ?

It will envy those ancient people.

I envy those ancients. Look at Jia Baoyu, surrounded by girls all the time. At the age of ten, he first tried to have sex with xiren. Look at me. When I was ten years old, I was in the third grade of primary school. Now I'm almost twenty years old and I'm still a virgin. Besides, Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of eight and came to power at the age of fifteen or sixteen. Look at me. At the age of eight, I was still in the kindergarten class, and I was only in the first grade at the age of fifteen or sixteen. It's good to be an emperor. I'm so happy to have three thousand wives. Let me calculate an account first. Like the girls' dormitory in our school, one dormitory can accommodate six girls. Even if there are 20 dormitories on one floor, 120 can live. Multiplied by the six floors of a building, it is 720. Honey, it takes 3,000 wives to live in four or five buildings. I don't expect to marry 3 thousand wives, and I can't afford to raise too many. As long as you can marry 30, you will be satisfied in this life.

Diary of a narcissist

July 7(th)

I know I'm not a handsome guy, but someone saw my full moon photo and said my left nostril was idolized.

August thirtieth.

Living alone, people can only waste; Wives and concubines in groups make people know how to be frugal. But now, I am eager to be frugal in waste all day.

May 10

I feel like a pervert. I have an Oedipus addiction and like the best mature women. Why else do I want to fuck her grandmother every time I see her face?

March 2008, 65438

After breaking up with my girlfriend, I finally understood that happiness should be in my own hands, not in others' mouths!

July 9(th)

Reading today, I was depressed to see that Emperor Kangxi became the king of a country at the age of twenty-three. But when I saw that Emperor Tongzhi had been dead for four years at the age of twenty-three, I forgave him?

1 1 month 1 1 day

On Valentine's Day, I was eating noodles alone in a restaurant, and I heard a song-ordering program on the radio saying: There is a gentleman who sings for all lovers to express his blessings. Please listen to the silent ending. I think people can be loveless, but they can't be shameless, which is very bad, so I also called and ordered a song? Fish Leong's happy breakup.

July 20(th)

I once liked a girl and confessed. The girl asked me why I liked her. I said: If you were me, you would like yourself.

Later, she turned me down. I am sad. She doesn't know me. I told her: if I were you, I would have liked myself!

65438+February 9

The liquor in the restaurant was watered again today! **! When I have money, I will also go to the grand hotel to drink remy martin and xo! Never let them fool me with 1986 and 1972. Come to this year's bottle if you want!

September 12

In fact, steamed bread is omnipotent. You can eat when you are hungry. If you want to eat cake, pat the steamed bread flat; If you want to eat noodles, comb the steamed bread with a comb; If you want a hamburger, cut the steamed bread and eat it?

September 12

Men, the upper body is self-cultivation, the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.

September 10

Being single is painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow the other day, and everyone thought it had good eyes.

June 22(nd)

There are two kinds of men, one is lewd and the other is very lewd;

There are two kinds of women, one is pretending to be pure, and the other is pretending to be impure.

65438+ 10 month 19

Some people's love is erotic, some are erotic, some are comedies, some are literary films;

I am the worst. My love process is literary film, comedy film, pornography film, suspense film, action film, and finally kb film. What's even more exasperating is that there are fucking commercials?

03 February 65438

Tomorrow Valentine's Day, I found the phone number of a girl I secretly loved in middle school and sent her a short message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, you should drink half a bowl first, and I will put the rest in my arms to keep you warm?

A few minutes later, she replied with a short message: Who introduced you? 400 at a time and 700 at night.

65438 February 2004

I can't bear to let my children catch wolves, my daughter-in-law catch hooligans and update my collection.

I am in a bad mood today. Last night's text message let me know that the girl I secretly love has fallen, and even told me 400 yuan at a time?

At that time, I was very sad and searched my wallet sadly:

So I'm even sadder. I don't even have the capital to fall with her once?

April 15

You ask me, where is happiness? I tell you, if you stand on tiptoe, you can get closer to happiness, and if you close your eyes, you can feel happiness?

For a long time, we separated. I looked at your blushing cheeks and asked you softly, do you feel happy?

You gently lower your head and answer in a charming voice: You ate garlic today.

May 10

What is cruelty?

If it's a man, I'll break his three legs; If it is a male dog, I will break his five legs!

June 9(th)

I am in a bad mood today. I only have four words to say. Including this sentence and the first two sentences. I'm finished?

July 23(rd)

To deal with a vicious person, you must be more vicious than him; Dealing with a despicable person is more despicable than him;