Classic SMS jokes

1, people's life is not long. Although she may not be the last person to accompany you, she will at least accompany you through a road you have never walked before!

2, the needle is not two-pointed, people do not have two pairs of body and mind.

Half of the world is laughing at the other half. Actually, the whole world is a fool.

I admit that I don't know how to take care of a person, but I have been studying hard.

5. Don't think that you send text messages in class. I don't know who will giggle at their crotch.

I want to wake up and open my eyes one day and find myself sitting on a desk and chair in the primary school classroom. The chalk thrown by the teacher hit him right on the forehead.

7, the left eye jumps, the exam is skipped, the mobile phone is thrown, and people are stupid.

8, words are spoken by people, fart is put by people, talking and farting is like a breath.

9. Don't think that I am out of reach because I am handsome. In fact, I am a sea of rivers.

10, in a bad mood, take the bus, sit behind long hair and cut hair.

1 1. Foreigners always like to pick up condoms used by China people and chew them in their mouths after processing.

12, the other half didn't get 100, only two people got 50 points!

13. Use perfume if you have money, and toilet water if you have no money.

14, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

15, God, come out and see the Tathagata.

I am his time lover, and I should leave as soon as possible.

17, I am happy for you if you are doing well, and I am happy for the whole world if you are not doing well.

18, airplane, isn't there enough trouble? Fly back quickly.

19, so you can fall in love. I thought you were just an idiot.

20. People eat slowly with chopsticks, and I eat as if I had just been released from prison.

2 1, every woman is looking for a man, and it turns out that the most man is herself.

22. Since I fell in love, my waist has stopped hurting, my head has stopped hurting and my heart has stopped beating.

23, the ticket is too difficult to buy, so I have to get on the bus first to buy a ticket!

24. You are my Youlemei. I can throw you away after drinking.

25, long meat, there is a feeling of rushing to the chest.

26. Not everyone can keep a low profile. The basis of keeping a low profile is to keep a high profile at all times.

27. Nothing is eternal, nothing is long. Find an excuse and anyone can go first.

28. Every time I take a history test, I feel that I am tampering with history.

29. You have no right to say that I have changed. Do you know that I owe you a sentence?

30. Sometimes I feel ugly and take out my ID card, only to find that I worry too much.

3 1, the classroom is used for sleeping, the canteen is used for showing love, the corridor is used for catwalks, and the teacher is used for singing lullabies.

32, people review before the exam, Nima, I seem to be previewing when I open the book!

33. It's not easy for teachers. After all, a person has to talk to himself for 45 minutes.

34. I feel sorry for all the women, because they all have unknown past.

Perhaps letting go now is the most considerate move, because you should have no difficulty in loving me.

36. I have used cool dogs for so many years. Say hello cool dog every day. At first, I thought it was polite. Think about it. Who are you calling a dog?

37. It's a popular world to leave, but none of us are good at saying goodbye.

38.who do you think you are? The bottle on the kerosene lamp thinks you are a light bulb.

39. The furthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but there are many WIFI nearby, but we don't know the password.

40. Getting the word is a trivial matter, and a villain becomes a Buddha.

4 1, I planted a bunch of boyfriends in spring, but when autumn came, I got nothing.

42. Love is a kind of amnesia, which makes people forget that there are1200 million other members of the opposite sex in this world.

43. I think I'm not bad. You think I'm fine. Do you want to try to love me?

44. Waking up is one thing, getting up is another.

45. Without studying, Wan Li Road is just a postman.

46. I hope that class will be over and school will be closed. It turns out that my goal has always been persistent.

47. Flowers bloom again and people come and go. If you are destined to be a passer-by, why bother?

48, weeding at noon, class is really hard, a small broken book, a look is the whole morning.

49. Men say that women are troublesome and women are shit, but men are mean, men love to make trouble, and men just love to eat shit.

50. Being abused for thousands of times in winter is like first love for a quilt.

5 1. On your way to happiness, there will be my trace.

The tortoise can beat the rabbit, but in fact it just goes its own way.

53. I will dress up for the funeral of my homework. Will you go? Same as Peninsula

54. If mosquitoes suck fat instead of human blood, I will definitely like it.

55. Come on, girls in summer vacation. I have a crush on you for a long time.

56. Me Before You, my sky is gray. After knowing you, my sky is completely dark!

57. The stomach is not terrible. What is terrible is that it is unexpectedly big.

58. Son, stop being depressed. You should be as lively and cheerful as a psychopath!

59. Women are not omnipotent, but no woman is omnipotent.

60. Everyone loves you, flowers bloom and fall, and the coffin opens when they see it.

6 1, don't shout everywhere that the world has abandoned you, and the world doesn't belong to you.

62. Every time I see a handsome guy, I always feel a little guilty, and I always wonder how I have anything to do with him.

63. Women are not drunk, and men have no chance; Men don't get drunk and women don't tip; Men and women are not drunk, and no one sleeps in the hotel; Men and women are drunk, regardless of who is who!

64. I wake up every morning thinking that I have given up, and my grandson will go to school twenty minutes later.

If you are a lemon, don't always stare at the sweetness of watermelon.

66. No matter how tired and bitter you are, consider yourself as 250. No matter how difficult it is to take risks, you should also regard yourself as a two-faced person.

67. Life is a never-ending performance. Each of us is an actor, but some people obey themselves and some people please the audience.

68. Being single is not terrible. What's terrible is those who try their best to make you end your single life.

If you leave, don't come back. I'm not a garbage collection station.

70. I have heard that I love you and miss you, but I have never heard that I can't live without you.

7 1, everyone is born, but sadly, many people have gradually become pirates.

72. Everything is going up, that is, people are getting cheaper and cheaper!

73. I really want to call you grandpa and dad myself.

74. Actually, my smile is very low. At the very least, I smiled when I saw you smile.

75. Marry the Tang Priest when you grow up. Fight if you can, or eat him if you can't.

76. Looking through the previous conversation, I suddenly found that I used to be like this? ?

77. Mom said: Pretend even if you are jealous, just like drinking soy sauce. You can't let others look down on you.

78. Habit becomes nature, and everything you get is actually very important to me.

79. Don't drag in front of me like 2.58 million, just pose and pretend!

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman!

8 1. Please don't ask me what's strange about seeing beautiful men. I'm pretending.

82. I really want to shout to those who often send "read and leave". If I don't go, I'll shit again and go.

83. There are four major tragedies in life: the long drought meets the rain; When you meet an old friend in a foreign country, you are a creditor; Wedding night, next door; When nominating the gold medal list, the names are repeated.

84. Some girls have the same house price. Only when you look back, do you know that it was wrong not to start.

85. If you don't study now, the exam will be sad!

86. The awesome mode has begun. Please load 99% or 9% later. There is something wrong with the awesome mode. The system has crashed and is returning to teasing mode.

87. Not only do women have pregnancy vomiting, but unhappy men also want to vomit.

88, the man's affection, the woman's intention, I will go as soon as the small light is turned off.

89. Women are either proud and single or fall in love and get married. Why waste your youth, accompany other people's husbands, and be so serious?

When I graduate, I must show my domineering style to the class teacher.

9 1, the world is so wonderful, but you are so grumpy. Not good, not good.

92. It's getting cold. Don't forget to put on the cassock when you go out!

93. There is always a good friend who is shorter than himself. Who do you have in mind?

94. When a friend knows that I broke up with you, you immediately hold another woman's hand. You'll understand what this is all about. What a panic!

95. I am sleepy most of the time, and occasionally I complain.

96. I survived when the whole class died of a cold. Now they are all well, and I was killed.

97. Confucius said: No matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. When the world is full of love.

98. Face is given by others and lost by yourself.

99. Now I just hope that I can understand in class, finish my homework, spend a lot of money on meal cards, sleep without cramps and live a quiet life. Don't forget me.

100, I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning.

I thought I was good, but my cough stopped me.

102, this is called loading! Hungry goods! Come to a snickers bar, and you will be soft when you are forced!

103, failure is not terrible, the key is whether he succeeds or not.

104, culture is not afraid of hooligans, and patience is afraid of perverts.

105, fear of life first, then fear of death. People who have lived completely are ready to die at any time.

106, the person who helped me, I told him never to fall.

107, obviously the same content, why do you always feel that the teacher can't tell the feeling of Qingguo College?

108, gave me a comment, and I can be happy for at least three months.

109, if two people stare at each other for a long time, it is also a very romantic thing.

1 10. In order to cooperate with the successful completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.