When did the strange phenomenon of "happy funerals" occur in rural areas? The old farmer couldn't figure it out. Is it worth being happy?

Birth, old age, illness and death are natural laws, and you will die at an old age without any disease, with a smile on your face, and you will be happy in the paradise world. It can be said to be everyone’s ultimate destination. In some rural areas, there is indeed a phenomenon of happy funerals.

My third grandma, 87 years old, was playing mahjong in the village elderly teahouse in the morning. She went home and finished her meal at noon. She was sitting at the dining table and died before she finished smoking. It took less than 10 seconds. .

My uncles and uncles quickly informed relatives and friends. When we arrived, the third grandmother’s shroud had been neatly dressed and she was lying on the mat inside the door. I knelt down on the funeral bed and cried loudly. Thinking about all the kindness my third grandma had done to me during her lifetime, it is really sad that I will never see her again. Several uncles and uncles all pulled me up and comforted me. People cannot be resurrected after death. She was happy to die and it was worthy of celebration.

The uncle’s family invited the cook to come in, held a big banquet, invited relatives and friends, and also invited what is said to be the best band in the county. They sang for three days, including sketches, magic, songs, and operas. , of course there are funny and even vulgar songs and dances, such as songs such as: Today is a Good Day, Happy Horse, Wait a Thousand Years, Little Apple, Bajie Carrying His Wife, etc.

I have been busy since my third grandma passed away, driving to help purchase ingredients and memorial supplies. I helped contact the crematorium, choose the cemetery for burial, and received the delivery work. I didn't rest for three days and two nights. I was immersed in grief and busyness for several days. I listened to them perform these songs and dances. I went on stage and gave the band's electronic piano and drums. They lifted it and were later caught.

I am not opposed to the custom of suspending mourning for three days because I am afraid that the deceased will fake his death. We are not opposed to inviting relatives and friends to express our condolences and remember the true teachings our martyrs gave us. What I hate is that solemn and sad moments are destroyed and desecrated by pranks, and these bad rural habits are unfilial in life and nonsense in death, hoping to be replaced by civilized customs.

When an old man in rural areas dies, how he arranges his funeral seems to be the criterion for whether his family is prominent and wealthy.

Under normal circumstances, it can be parked for at least three days, and even for ten or twenty days. Of course, sometimes it is not up to the family to decide how long the child will be parked. After an elderly person in rural areas dies, a Taoist priest will be invited as soon as possible to determine the date of burial and select the burial place. For those with average family conditions, a Taoist priest will not settle for a long time because he knows that he will not be able to squeeze out much profit; if the family has a big business, he will never give you ten days and a half to make a lot of money. Give up.

Of course, if you have a prominent family background and have many relatives, you will also take the initiative to ask for an appropriate extension of the parking time, so that you can rush back to see your relatives waiting outside for the last time.

The death of an old man, whether old or not, is definitely a sad thing. However, in today's rural areas, when preparing for funeral arrangements, no matter how long it takes, most of the formal procedures are in place, which is understandable. Cry when you should cry, kneel when you should kneel, stay up late when you should stay up, nothing will go wrong.

But in terms of specific details, there are still many areas worth discussing. Originally, when the old man passed away, the children must be devastated, and the mourning must come from the heart. When relatives and friends come around, they will cry once. Over time, most of them will break their throats from crying. But now, I record the sound I cried the day before and then play the recording repeatedly; when I get tired of listening to sad music, sometimes I play pop music; my relatives and friends keep vigil at night and suffer from the long and unbearable night, and they actually play cards in small groups. . There is no trace of piety and compassion for a funeral. The funeral is turned into a song and dance party. I wonder if the old man lying in the coffin will be so angry that he will come to life!

Therefore, rural funeral reform is imperative. We must vigorously advocate the concept of "healthy life but poor burial" and give our elders a better life while they are still alive, so that they can have good food, clothing, medical care, and more companionship in their later years, so that they can live in peace, eat well, feel refreshed, and live a long life. When they pass away, even if the funeral is simple and not grand enough, there will definitely be a smile on their face.

Perhaps it is because of different cultural customs in different places. In some places, the phenomenon of "happy funerals" does occur. We cannot interpret too much about traditional customs that vary from place to place, but from the perspective of emotional attitude Speaking from the above, it is inevitable to be sad when a loved one leaves, even if he or she dies in a happy and unreasonable life. We do not overextend the sadness, but the opposite way of handling it is worthy of discussion.

Three years ago, I went to a certain rural area for errands and happened to meet a local family holding a large funeral. The performance of playing and singing was barely acceptable, but as a group of young girls with scantily clad clothes came on stage to sing and dance, there were also There were virtuous sons and grandsons in mourning clothes, pointing and commenting on the program. They were really shocked and amazed by the scene. A friend who accompanied them said that due to development and demolition in the village in recent years, everyone has received With a large amount of monetary compensation, everyone's economic conditions have improved and their living standards have improved, so there is a sense of comparison with each other in matters such as weddings and funerals.

As an ordinary farmer, I really cannot accept this kind of funeral arrangements in rural areas. When an old man dies, even if he dies without any illness and leaves peacefully, it is not necessary. It would arouse such elation and adopt such a way of celebration. I believe that the old man who has worked hard all his life, Yuchi Izumoshita, would definitely not do this kind of funeral arrangements.

The death of loved ones leaves us with pain, yearning, and an everlasting memory. Although there is no need to exaggerate our sadness, we have to ask ourselves whether we can handle such a strange and novel ceremony. Be at peace with yourself.

Fine traditional customs cannot be thrown away, let alone tampered with or abandoned without reason. For us in the rural areas of southwestern Shandong, we attach great importance to funeral customs and etiquette. Every issue in the organization and understanding of funerals is important. Families attach great importance to it. I personally think that the 24-prayer salute passed down by the older generation and the etiquette during funerals and funerals are cultural customs worth inheriting and carrying forward. They can allow us to express ourselves in ancient and solemn behaviors. In front of us, we deeply feel the long history of the motherland's culture. Every time we return from mourning, we can realize the meaning of life and cherish the time of life even more.

There are endless funerals in rural areas. In fact, this problem is relatively common nowadays. In the past, when funerals were held, people would burst into tears because their loved ones were gone and they felt sad, but people cannot be resurrected after death. , Don’t the living people still have to live well? In fact, not all injuries are accidental.

1. The memory of seeing a funeral when I was a child.

I remember when I was a child in our village, a man in his 40s fell ill and died, and his son was only 11 years old. After his death, his family did not dare to tell him the news. The elderly Father, not long afterward, his father himself also learned the news. He passed away within two months due to excessive sadness. Such a funeral was so pitiful that people in the village felt that their family was so pitiful. Not long after that, his child also dropped out of school, and that child entered the third grade of elementary school. After this incident, I never saw him again. It was not until I grew up that I saw him now, and he was still doing well. When things get better, this may be what people call children from poor families becoming parents early! Moreover, there is a saying in our hometown that the father is good and the son is good. Although this sentence does not sound good, I am just here to express that their children work hard.

2. There are many customs of joy and mourning in the north.

In fact, there is a certain explanation for the happy funeral mentioned in the above topic, and it also depends on the age of the deceased.

My parents worked in Beijing for five or six years, and I would go there during summer vacations. I often saw that after an old man died, they would hire two-person actors or singers, as well as mourners. At that time, I also I was puzzled. Later, I heard the old people in Beijing say that this is called a funeral. It does not mean that all injuries can be mourned, but only after the death of an old man in his 70s or 80s, because they have already arrived. At that age, I have lived a relatively long life and have no regrets, so I only do weddings and funerals like this. Younger people can’t do it (I won’t explain this), because it sounds awkward to say, after all. Make the messenger great.

In fact, people in the north have more funerals and funerals. Although there are such funerals in our south, they are not the endless funerals mentioned in the theme. In our rural areas, they are still relatively rare, and not all. It can be done in all rural areas. After all, they have their own customs and habits, and people in rural areas are relatively backward in thinking. Many people still don’t choose to celebrate funerals. If we hold funerals in our village, we will be scolded and condemned by the elders of the previous generation. , you can’t hold your head up in the village, people will say you are unfilial, so this phenomenon has not appeared in our village, but I have seen it in other villages, but it is also what I said in the topic Only old people can do this.

According to the customs in my hometown, funerals can only be held after the death of an old man who is over ninety-five years old and has a large family of descendants. Such funerals are similar to ordinary funerals. There are two main reasons: Differences in aspects:

1. In terms of filial piety, except for children who wear white cloth, grandchildren or other descendants use red cloth instead of white filial piety cloth.

2. The funeral couplets posted are relatively messy, and I can’t tell which kind of funeral couplet is the most correct to use

1. Nowadays, my hometown is celebrating funerals. When doing so, most of the couplets pasted are white couplets with black and white characters on white paper;

2. Occasionally, I have seen a family post the white couplets first, and then replace them with red couplets after the deceased elderly person went out;

3. When it comes to using red pairs directly, in my nearly fifty-year-old experience, there is only one time in my memory where I used red couplets directly.

Funerals and celebrations in my hometown have two meanings:

First, the old man lives a long life, and he has already seen the scene of his descendants. During the funeral process, we are silently telling our relatives, friends and neighbors that the old man died a good death and let nature take its course to the end of his life;

Second, in my hometown, there is always a similar feeling. According to genetics, the descendants of ancestors with long lifespans tend to have relatively long lifespans. Therefore, in the process of holding funerals for the elderly, the younger generations of the same clan not only do not want the elderly who are nearly 70 or above (the children of the deceased elderly) to be excessively sad during the process of observing filial piety, and do not have a rest for a long time, which will affect their health, but also hope that everyone Children and grandchildren will be given enough longevity.

This strange phenomenon is particularly prominent in our local rural areas. Funerals in our rural areas still follow the rules passed down by the elders. From the moment the old man dies to the time he is laid to rest, he has to listen to the orders given by the funeral director. Anyone who talks back to you will be attacked in a group. You will even get into a fight with me if you say something unpleasant. If you say something unpleasant, the dead person will carry the funeral...

A normal wake lasts for seven days. After people come down, first invite Mr. Geography to come and mark seven dates based on the time when the deceased died, that is, 49 days, so that the descendants can worship according to the date; Make a list of all relatives and friends, and send family members to report the funeral separately. Relatives and friends will come to express their condolences. Generally, several tables must be set up for lunch and dinner during the day, and all family members will eat and do business here. Finally, make arrangements Every night at the wake, there are usually three or four tables playing cards and mahjong, as well as company, good cigarettes and tea, and good wine and good food for midnight snacks. These keepers are all doing it to give the host family face. Those who come must be well received! The funeral arrangements must be made accordingly.

It took two or three hours to get rid of all the guests. After the dust settled, the stage also started. I couldn’t tell whether it was mourning or joy. Anyway, I had a full meal and played and played. It's the mourning hall. The players in front of them play filial sons and grandsons, and they cry loudly. Every time the players play a song, there is a special person who charges the filial son a mourning fee ranging from ten yuan to dozens of yuan. Finally, the singing begins on the stage. There is no entertainment in our local children's plays in rural areas. The only people who join in the fun are watching these children's plays. The filial sons themselves did not shed tears when they saw them. What was visible was the aunts and grandmothers who spent hundreds of yuan to invite opera singers to howl on the stage. She pretended to cry, crying for mother and father, but it made the people watching the show cry in the audience.

It lasts for one to seven days, until the deceased is buried from the funeral parlor and all the relatives and friends are sent home after dinner. It costs at least 50,000 yuan to go through such a procedure. I still don't understand that these children are indifferent to the elderly when they are alive, and they become filial sons and grandsons as soon as they close their eyes!

The government has called for simplicity in funerals many years ago, but this evil trend has not been curbed. They even regard holding funerals as a sign of filial piety to the elders. I feel really sad! I told my mother countless times to eat more, and to get medical treatment if I felt unwell. When Bai Lao passed away, I definitely wouldn’t pay the troupe to come back and join in the fun! Maybe some people will think that I am disobedient, but I still have to do this even if I say it!

Organizing funerals in rural areas is very complicated. There is a popular saying here: Shandong people like to eat chaff and save their money to go out for a big funeral. This is an old saying from hundreds of years ago. In rural areas, it is mainly the elderly who die, and they usually deal with the loss in a dignified manner. There are many reasons for this;

When an elder passes away, there will be many children behind him. Children and grandchildren, he himself also has many brothers and sisters, as well as children and grandchildren of those people. These people are all directly related by blood. Among these people, they also have their own relatives (such as children and in-laws). As direct children of the deceased old man, they We must consider these nepotistic relationships and give the elderly a decent funeral ceremony. First, it can express the pain of losing their loved ones. Second, it can give these nepotistic people a time and place to express their condolences. At the same time, it can also distinguish these relationships from other relationships in society. to show to the public. In rural areas, people still recognize and value this kind of family relationship.

In rural areas, when an elderly person dies, the funeral will be grand. Years of accumulation have already formed a custom and a funeral culture. It is very expensive to hold such a funeral, so the children will try their best. In order to organize the funeral well, I try not to leave behind the regret of being ridiculed by my neighbors if my loved one dies or the funeral is not well organized.

Due to the intervention of local policies in the past two years, funerals have been very simple, and some have even reduced the number of mourning robes and mourning. Although it seems that the atmosphere has improved, it can be seen that the old man has died. , everyone has a kind of indifference and calmness. Although I can't say anything, I always feel that something is missing in terms of human touch. Maybe it is hidden in people's silence.

In our rural hometown, no matter whether we have money or not, after the death of an elderly person in the family, we will make a big deal out of it. There is nothing wrong with making a big deal out. Many families are engaging in unnecessary comparisons, and now After the death of rural elderly people, they have gradually become "celebratory", which is what we often call joy and mourning. This situation is very common in rural areas.

In the past, happy mourning mainly refers to the death of an older person, or the old person did not suffer from any illness before his death. These two are called happy mourning, but now it is different. When an elderly person dies in the village, it is handled according to the "happy and mourning" specifications, and a professional team is even hired to perform. This is something that many people cannot understand.

Of course I can’t understand joy and mourning. The death of an elderly person in the family is a very sad thing. For someone who has been with me for decades to suddenly leave, I can’t do it anyway. Therefore, I also hate joy and mourning in my subjective consciousness. Perhaps for many people, the death of an elderly person is not only a relief for the elderly, but also a relief for the family.

Being kind to the old man before he is alive is better than anything else. There is an example in our village. The old man gave birth to two sons. Before the old man passed away, the two sons were very important to each other. The old man's support was always a "glove" issue, and the old man was only given a few hundred yuan in living expenses every month. When the old man passed away, the old man's two sons spent hundreds of thousands on the funeral for the old man.

What the elderly do not need is a beautiful funeral. Be kind to the elderly during their lifetime, and do not mourn them secretly after their death.

Indeed, "funerals and happy celebrations" are still very common in rural areas of our country and even in some small urban areas in recent years. Especially two days before the deceased is buried, to be honest, if it weren't for the white cloth hanging, sometimes you wouldn't be able to tell whether it was a funeral or a happy event. The family members of the deceased often invite many people to perform, and the whole event is very lively, with gongs and drums playing.

There are even some vulgar shows performed in some places, which I am personally very opposed to.

First of all, there is absolutely nothing to be happy about. Whenever I see such a "funeral or happy event" happening nearby, I rarely come forward. No matter how lively it is, it always gives people a lively and informal feeling.

In addition, this kind of extravagance is itself a kind of extravagance and waste, and it does not show the respect of the deceased at all. On the contrary, it has the meaning of grandstanding.

However, there are indeed some relatively filial family members in rural areas who really want to express their feelings and remembrance of the deceased again. But they have no other way to express their feelings, so they can only "happy funerals".

I hope that more "funeral funerals" are held out of respect for the deceased, rather than just for one's own face.

Just imagine, what kind of style would it be like to sing "Waiting Once in a Thousand Years" at a funeral? Could it be that you have finally waited for a funeral? Or are you finally free? For another example, if one member of the couple dies unexpectedly, and the song "The Husband and Wife Return the Home" is played at the funeral, do you want the remaining one to burp too early?

When do these funeral dances and funeral concerts end? For this phenomenon, it is unreasonable to attribute it to happy funerals and happy funerals. Joyful mourning is generally "the return of all blessings and longevity", which requires a full life, full blessings, and a full death, that is, a person who lives a long life and has many descendants will naturally die without pain.

Nowadays, there are not many old people who can meet such conditions. There are many who live a long life, but there are also many who are sick every three days and take medicine; there are many people who have children and grandchildren, but there are also old people who have three children and no home; Those who were still doing farm work before their death died without any illness, but they still did not "retire" from the post of planting crops until their death. This is considered desolate, and it also reflects the unfilial piety of their children and grandchildren. How can it be considered a happy mourning?

Many people are not satisfied with the joy of mourning, because the old people have lived for seventy or eighty years and have passed the age of seventy, so in the eyes of their children and grandchildren, it is considered a joy of mourning. It can be said that joy and sorrow are a mixture of joy and sorrow. What is sad is that the decoration of the mourning hall reveals a sad atmosphere, but what is happy is the stage set up in the courtyard. The invited commercial performance team sings popular songs and dances belly dances, which is full of joy. But it is the joy of the festival.

This didn't look like a funeral. What's more, vulgar performances were performed nonchalantly on some funeral stages, making the guests laugh and enjoy themselves. Therefore, Catalpa believes that such funerals are actually spent to entertain guests, and sometimes they will become the laughing stock of everyone.

As long as you are willing to spend money, you can buy tears. Funeral concerts are already despised, but here comes another mourning performance. Although it is a mourning ceremony, it is actually a performance, a variation of a happy funeral.

When an old man dies, it is too late for his children and grandchildren to grieve. He actually pays an actor to cry in mourning. Even if he cries until the sky is dark and the mountains and rivers move, the guests will talk about it, and they will even be moved by the moving performance of the mourner. Tut tut praise.

The tears shed by the mourners are real, but there is no true feeling in the tears, let alone family affection, and there is only the smell of copper.