A joke about spanking in court

Haha, is there such a joke? There are many jokes in court. This also has connotation. Funny:

Judge: "Name of the defendant?"

Corrupt official: "Yao was registered as soon as he was born. He was called He Yao during the revolution, but his current name is still Yao. As for age, it is hard to say. My mother said she was 58 years old, my ID card was 56 years old, I checked files at 50 years old, my organization department inspected her at 48 years old, my secretary said she was 40 years old, and my typist said I was 28 years old. How old is it? I am an organized person. I listen to the organization. "

Judge: "What is your main criminal fact?"

Corrupt official: "I have never been interested in money." I didn't pick up the money when I saw someone else drop it on the road. My wife can testify. "

Judge: "How much did others lose?"

Corrupt official: "A penny."

Judge: "What are you most worried about?"

Corrupt official: "Fake goods sleep."

Judge: "Please specify."

Corrupt official: "I am afraid that banknotes are fake, and gold, silver, jewelry, jadeite and agate are all fake." I can't sleep after receiving other people's money, and I can't sleep without receiving it. "

Judge: "Do you know what citizens think of you?"

Corrupt official: "I know. One Spring Festival, in order to show my determination to be honest and clean, I asked someone to write a pair of couplets "Welcome visitors" and "Don't give gifts" at the gate of www.qiangxie.cn. The next day, someone changed it to: "Welcome to visit, don't buy anything as a gift. "People are reasonable! Another time I went to see a doctor, and the doctor wrote on my medical record:' Don't worry about eating and wearing, but your blood fat is too thick; Ability is not high, the level is not high, that is, blood pressure is too high; Speaking at the conference, the prostate is also inflamed; If your work performance is not outstanding, it is lumbar disc herniation. " "

Judge: "What do you have to say about the accusation of the procuratorate?"

Corrupt official: "Please ask the court to correct the bribery of 500,000 yuan in the eighth accusation. Because I was carried away by excitement, I didn't accept it on the spot, of which 300 thousand yuan was counterfeit money According to the law, this counterfeit banknote of 300,000 yuan should be invalid currency and should be deducted from the statistics. In order to mitigate the punishment. "

Judge: "How do you feel after going to prison?"

Corrupt official: "I believe in fate. I'm very picky about the relevant figures. You see, my car number is 9988, my phone number is 6868, and my mobile phone number is 18 18. When I got to the prison, I got a good number. My prison number is 1698. Thank you! "

Judge: "Now the defendant makes the final statement."

Corrupt official: "I didn't make any preparations for this meeting today." Since you must let me talk, I'm welcome. Just say a few words! " I am a very decent person. In those days, I took a limousine, stayed in a luxury hotel, ate a luxury banquet and played with a senior lady. Since you have committed a crime, you can't lose your dignity. Therefore, I suggest that the case be tried by the High Court. "

……

Judge: "Please ask the defendant to sign the transcript of the trial."

Corrupt officials took the trial transcript, wrote the word "agree" on it, and then habitually read: "Please forward this to the ministries, commissions and bureaus for study and discussion, and report the rectification opinions in time ..."