Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who can provide the lyrics of Degang Guo's cross talk "You Want Elegance"?
Who can provide the lyrics of Degang Guo's cross talk "You Want Elegance"?
Y: Where are so many people?
Guo: Oh, someone shouted over there, down with Yu Qian.
Y: Why did you pick up your mouth and say?
Guo: You are not very popular.
Y: er, ha.
Guo: These people are all. Look at you.
Y: No, people listen to cross talk.
Guo: I think so.
Y: really?
Guo: People like you better than me.
Y: Everybody take it.
Guo: After all these years,
Y: well,
Guo: I still have to thank the teacher.
Y: you're welcome.
Guo: It helps me a lot. Dare not say so. But I can't give you anything.
Y: yo.
Guo: My conditions are not much different from yours.
Y: We are all the same.
Guo: Is it true that one day, when I become emperor, I will make you a prince?
Y: I haven't heard of it.
Guo: I can only enter this heart.
Y: Hey, all right.
Guo: All my property will be yours in the future.
Y: Hey, well, I didn't even come out to let you run on me when you became emperor.
Guo: The problem is that I can't be emperor.
Y: ah, yes.
Y: Then forget it.
Guo: Over the past 20 years, the audience has witnessed our growth.
Y: You're watching.
Guo: As an actor, it is a good cross talk.
Y: right.
Guo: There is no other craft.
Y: right.
Guo: Everyone knows us.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Yu Qian.
Y: We are brothers.
Guo: Young.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Not as good as our predecessors.
Y: Of course.
Guo: Everyone knows and.
Yes
Guo: Only from The Analects of Confucius.
Y: wait a minute. There is Degang Guo in The Analects?
Guo: The Analects of Confucius, the book of Confucius.
Y: I know the book written by Confucius.
Guo: There is also a saying in The Analects of Confucius.
Y: what did you say?
Guo: I haven't read the outline.
What do you mean?
Guo: Confucius said, unfortunately, I haven't seen it.
Y: Well, that means you died on Confucius' head.
Guo: Yes.
Y: It's a mess. Don't explain it like this, you know.
Guo: This is my understanding.
Y: ah.
Guo: Many audiences like us. of course,
Y: oh,
Guo: There are also some controversies.
Y: Oh, it's quite controversial.
Guo: It's normal.
Y: Then let it be.
Guo: Some people say that cross talk is vulgar.
Y: Oh, call us vulgar.
Guo: Different people have different opinions. At different levels of society, people will call others vulgar.
Y: really?
Guo: Upper class,
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Say others are vulgar;
Y: oh ...
Guo: He is, pretending to understand.
Y: Oh, play dumb.
Guo: Well, experts and scholars all say that people are vulgar.
Y: how about this one?
Guo: This is a straightforward answer. I am worse than Dongfeng.
Y: ok ~
Guo: Crosstalk actors say others are vulgar.
Y: what's this?
Guo: Envy, jealousy and hate.
Y: hey. This is a bad attitude.
Guo: If he could perform a play here, he would still be so obsessed.
Y: ha ha ha.
Guo: Right?
Y: exactly.
Guo: There is only naked hatred among peers.
Y: colleagues are enemies.
Guo: That can't be helped.
Y: well,
Guo: Understandably,
Y: well,
Guo: There are two kinds of people in the world.
Y: oh?
Guo: Some people like it.
Y: oh.
Guo: There is nothing wrong.
Y: Then let it be.
K: This is the first one.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: The second kind of people don't like it.
Y: What about this one?
Guo: That's right.
Y: You can choose.
Guo: But the second kind of people think they are more elegant than the first kind, which is wrong. That's why he always comes second.
Hello. Oh, that's why.
Guo: It is not easy to live. Correct mentality, only tolerance, only an inclusive world can be wonderful.
Y: This is the most important thing.
Guo: To tell the truth.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: What are vulgarity and elegance?
Yu: distinguish.
Guo: I think that simple elegance is not enough to form the world.
Y: oh.
Guo: The joys and sorrows of little people are the real art. ..
Y: that's right.
Guo: Chairman Mao taught us,
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Literature and art serve the broad masses of people.
Y: right.
Guo: You are always elegant and arrogant. Let's just say that you deliberately violated the chairman's theory.
Y: Wow ~ This big hat is buckled.
Guo: That's how you treat him.
Yes, oh, it's just a condom.
Guo: To tell the truth.
Y: aha.
Guo: An old saying goes well, doesn't it? Taste both refined and popular tastes.
Y: oh.
Guo: Only with tolerance can we appreciate elegance and vulgarity.
Yu: coexistence.
Guo: Many people can't see through it.
Y: well,
Guo: I always feel that what is appealing to both refined and popular tastes. What is elegance and what is vulgarity?
Yes
Guo: Some people say that,
Y: well,
Guo: Listening to symphonies is elegant.
Y: that's true.
Guo: It's vulgar to watch cross talk.
Hello.
Guo: Listening to the lip-synching of the stars is elegant.
Y: oh.
Guo: Look at the vulgarity of the Internet.
Y: What about this score?
Guo: The human body art is elegant, and the couple's dirty jokes are vulgar.
Hello.
Guo: Coffee is elegant and garlic is vulgar. Mr. Gorky told us,
Y: say?
Guo: Fuck you ~
Y: Gorky's relatives are really complete.
Guo: What is elegance and vulgarity? Good teeth are elegant, but people are vulgar.
Y: it's written like this.
Guo: A word with teeth, a good word, this word pronounces teeth.
Y: right.
Guo: From the mouth. You can sit there and talk, talk, talk when you are full. It's called elegance.
Y: Oh, scream.
Guo: It's a vulgar word that one person has a grain and one whole grain has a grain.
Y: right.
Guo: Eating and drinking are commonplace.
Y: oh.
Guo: People don't have to say anything, but you don't need anything elegant.
Y: oh.
Guo: But you can't live without this custom.
Y: Everyone is very vulgar.
Guo: Both refined and popular tastes, and both refined and popular complement each other.
Y: I can't live without anyone.
Guo: I can't live without it. Drinking coffee, I want, autumn water will turn into blue sky.
Y: haha.
Guo: Many elegant people wear perfume. I can smell scum.
Y: In my bones.
Guo: After ten years of ups and downs,
Y: well,
Guo: I did it. I've seen all the movies in the world, but I don't know anything.
Y: I don't know if there are any sizes, but I'm sure I've seen them all.
Guo: I'll pay you back in a couple of days.
Y: Hey, mine? I didn't lend it to you.
Guo: I tell you, if vulgar things are gone, elegant things will not exist.
Y: they are all commensurate.
Guo: The two are the same thing.
Yu: dialectics.
Guo: Only vulgarity can make people approach your art.
Y: right.
Guo: There is no distinction between high and low arts.
Y: hey?
Guo: As the saying goes, both drama and movies can bring people happiness.
Y: wow.
Guo: Really, it's a little rough.
Y: well,
Guo: Facts are facts. People in the upper class never watch porn.
Y: well,
Guo: He is serious.
Y: oh ~ ~ it's better to watch it.
Guo: You can disagree with my aesthetic point of view.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: But you have no right to deprive me of my aesthetic rights.
Y: that's right.
Guo: Let me and the people maintain a vulgar right.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: The classical Chinese is good, but the bastard is not enough to refute it.
Y: this is,
Guo: Again,
Y: well,
Guo: Elegance is not fake.
Y: well,
Guo: Sun Tzu is faking it.
Y: to be honest,
Guo: Sometimes I get angry when I watch them pretend.
Y: I am angry.
Guo: Have a good life. What happened all day?
Y: huh?
Guo: As soon as I got on the bus, I was packed like a sour pear and took out an English newspaper. Do you know each other?
Y: I don't know
Guo: Roadside people also speak, half Chinese and half English.
Y: huh?
Guo: So is buying apples. Hello, grandpa.
Y: grandpa?
Guo: I think he wants to see it. This is Guo: pple 5 yuan 7 kg?
Y: What a mess.
Guo: You bought rotten apples. What are you showing off in an ostentatious manner? Don't confuse your words. Competing for this product.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Take a watch. Look at my watch. This is a Rolls Royce.
Y: huh?
Guo: Is it an extended version?
Y: hi, car.
Guo: Aren't you dead? Your face can't even tell a Rolex.
Y: What foreign languages can you speak?
Guo: There is also a big yellow chain.
Y: chain.
Guo: Don't sweat it. If you sweat, your vest will be dirty.
Y: Will it fade?
K: Iron and copper injection.
Y: Well, it's amazing.
Guo: Hey, I bought shampoo. I have to go to the salsa shop in Hong Kong. Please, your hair is not as much as mine.
Y: then don't wash it.
Guo: That's what I'm talking about.
Y: ah.
Guo: My trousers are dirty.
Y: ah.
Guo: I have to tell people, alas, I fell off eating abalone. You wet your pants, you said wet your pants.
Y: Is abalone that big?
Guo: Take broccoli for example. When we talk about this, we say that we are angry about everything.
Y: ah.
Guo: I'll sign the bill as soon as I finish eating here.
Y: oh?
K: Sorry, sir, but you can't sign the bill. I swipe my card ... what card should I swipe for a bowl of wonton?
Yu: The value is improper.
Guo: How dare you? Pretend to be a big-tailed eagle. A man and a woman are standing on the roadside. Let's talk.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: It sounds like a poem. So is this man, "Remember to be happy." This woman, "but my mind is always on tenterhooks." "You can't get through." "I tilted my face at a 45-degree angle to prevent tears from coming out." "You will always be my proud princess. I'm leaving. Your husband will be off work soon. " Dirty!
Y: Hey, how elegant, two smelly hooligans, that's all.
Guo: What should I do? One shot is enough. This.
Y: Don't be ambitious to them.
Guo: Really, especially in our line of work, crosstalk is not that bad. All day, we all want this elegance and that elegance. How many tongue twisters do you recite with this little effort?
Y: well, practice the basic skills.
Guo: Two days ago, there was a meeting in China.
What do you mean?
Guo: What are you going to do?
Y: They are really diligent now.
Guo: There is no room for cross talk, just a meeting.
Y: I went there to practice my basic skills.
Guo: Have an elegant crosstalk meeting with you. Ah, all the elite award-winning actors got together at Home Inn, No.7, Super 8, Hanting,
Y: What a mess.
Guo: It will be held in these hotels.
Y: hey. Find a good place.
Guo: Let me go. I dare not go.
Y: that's right.
Guo: I'm afraid I can't explain it clearly when I go home.
Hello.
Guo: Later experts, experts in phonology,
Y: well,
Guo: Wang Moumou.
Y: Experts are afraid to leave their full names.
Guo: Let me go home.
Y: oh?
Guo: Go home. Comrade Xiao Guo will go home. Let me tell you something about elegance and vulgarity.
Y: Just say it.
Guo: It's not appropriate not to go. Let's go
Y: I have to go.
Guo: As soon as I entered the door, people in the room still hung couplets on the wall, which was very cultural.
Y: How to write couplets?
Guo: Very good.
Yes
Guo: "I lay on the beach for two and a half years. The waves hit me today. "
Y: oh?
Guo: In my opinion, this is a turtle.
Oh, dear. Experts are good at guessing puzzles.
Guo: Oh, can you introduce it to me? Tell me, this must be elegant, not vulgar. We play elegant, so don't be vulgar. After talking for a long time, there is not even a complete sentence.
Y: Is that right?
Guo: Oh, don't be unhappy. You don't have to be silent, but we will silence you soon.
Y: yes,
Guo: We will write an anonymous letter and report it. We all do, you know?
Y: ok ~
Guo: You can understand me. You scold me because you don't know me now. You must kill me after you know me.
Y: Wow ~ He knows he hates it, too.
Guo: We should strive to be elegant and strive for the future. Looking down from the moon, we can't even see the Great Wall, which shows the elegance of these crosstalk performers here.
Y: What a noise.
Guo: When I came out, I said to myself, China, an expert, one in every two people was shot, that's right.
Y: that's it.
Guo: Really, including friends, some people think what elegance means.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Worship foreign things and flatter foreign countries,
Y: ah, worship foreign things and flatter foreign countries?
Guo: Learn from foreigners. Foreigners are very nice and elegant.
Y: oh ~ ~
Guo: That's not necessary. Some are from Kazakhstan and South Korea, and some are from Japan. To tell the truth, these are all our countries. What is Annan, what is North Korea,
Y: ah, yes.
Guo: That's all it is. Pay tribute every year, and be a small country at the age of 18. If you have a son, you must be sent to Beijing as a hostage.
Y: hmm ~
Guo: Now you learn from him. Let's be honest. Of course, people have advanced technology, so you have to learn it.
Y: Of course.
Guo: But sometimes I can't see it.
Y: I can't learn all of them.
Guo: When children learn this, their hair is cut.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Gao Ping, throw it into pieces, mushroom bottom. Dyed red and white, red and white, really like spicy cabbage.
Y: Hi, I'm Ha Han.
Guo: Huh? Legs are thicker than waist, and size 36 is 4 1 size shoes.
Y: Such big shoes.
Guo: As soon as my big eyelashes turned over, bam, I took off my hat.
Y: Wow, the hat is too light.
Guo: I heard that there are many talented people in Korea.
Y: that's quite a lot.
Guo: All the capable people in the world are Koreans.
Y: really?
Guo: Tathagata, Jesus, Confucius and Lu Ban all belong to them.
Y: all of them?
Guo: Yu Qian, these are all theirs.
Y: I'm not.
Guo: If it were you, they wouldn't know we were good. Send some crosstalk performers to Korea, where they will die.
Y: What can a crosstalk performer do?
Guo: Look, this is not good.
Y: yo.
Guo: I heard that South Korea recently got a rocket.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Sit as a scientist and go to the sun.
Y: Why not wait and get some sunshine?
Guo: That's right.
Y: How hot the sun is. This is a fireball.
Guo: The Koreans said they would go at night.
Y: I've never seen such a heartless person. Is it ridiculous to go at night?
Guo: We heard about it. Ha Han, and Ha Ri's.
Y: and the Japanese.
Guo: The Japanese can't be killed with a stick.
Y: oh.
Guo: For example, he is polite here.
Y: oh.
Guo: For example, we should learn from his unity.
Y: right.
Guo: But after all, we are a big country with a history of thousands of years.
Y: We are a country of etiquette.
Guo: Right? We need to know what happened to ourselves.
Y: right.
Guo: Japan, we can't do whatever we want. Tell the truth, small country.
Y: right.
Guo: It can't compete with us. Look at our weather forecast,/kloc-every 0/5 minutes.
Y: There are many places.
Guo: But the Japanese forecast that day, in a word,
What do you mean?
Guo: It's raining all over the country.
Y: Together, the clouds cover it. It's too small.
Guo: The place is small and there are few people in it.
Y: few people.
Guo: All the Japanese stayed in Beijing. One is in Deyun Society, and the other is unable to go to Guo Jiacai.
Y: well, you can't get out of the third ring.
Guo: Ah, of course you should remember this. Sometimes, whether elegant or vulgar, he has a suitable position. Set your position. As long as this position is good, there is no contradiction.
Yes
Guo: There is chaos in chaos.
Guo: Let me give you an example. Let's go to this big shopping mall, the flagship stores of some international brands.
Y: oh?
Guo: Go shopping. People decorate from top to bottom,
Y: ah.
Guo: the attitude of the waiter,
Y: well,
Guo: Including chatting with you, he must look at the grade.
Y: he must obey.
Guo: What do you think?
Y: right.
Guo: This is the old Beijing dialect.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: You feel comfortable.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Flagship stores and big stores are very polite when people come in.
What do you mean?
Guo: Occasionally, people have half a sentence.
Y: well,
Guo: Hello, say hello.
Y: It is international in itself.
Guo: Hello, sir. Please sit down.
Y: hey.
Guo: Welcome to the flagship store of our international brand.
Y: right.
K: Look at this bag.
Y: oh.
Guo: This autumn is a special color system.
Y: Specially designed.
Guo: This coat suits you very well.
Y: it fits perfectly.
Guo: Please show me that limited edition model for your husband to see.
Y: oh, limited.
Guo: Very comfortable.
Y: Yes, so accommodating.
Guo: Look at Zhajiang Noodles in old Beijing. We can't do it here.
Y: You have to change it.
Guo: Well, lively. It's old Beijing and Zhajiang.
Y: oh.
Guo: The family is not long and the management is not short.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Yo, Teacher Yu is here! Sit down, sit down and do it.
Y: hmm ~
Guo: This has nothing to do with the teacher, right? Our regular customer hasn't been here for a few days, has he?
Y: ha ha ha.
Guo: I know, the width of the big bowl, the dry frying of the small bowl, two bottles of beer, ten roasted kidneys and a peanut.
Y: I know them all very well.
Guo: Look, you think, of course, your appetite is also debatable.
Y: Ten peanuts can make me full? I think this place is connected to the teacher by mistake.
Guo: Say this.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: But it would be a waste of time if both of them were transferred.
Y: all good things. There's no harm in adjusting it.
Guo: This is a contradiction.
Y: no?
Guo: Look, think about it.
Y: You have one.
Guo: Our Zhajiang noodle restaurant,
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: It's like an international brand store.
Yes
K: It's well packed.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: The lights are bright.
Y: ah.
Guo: You were wearing a suit when you came.
Y: right.
K: Hello, sir.
Y: hello.
Guo: Welcome to the flagship store of fried sauce in old Beijing.
Y: Eating noodles is the flagship.
Guo: This kind of fried sauce is new this autumn.
Y: hey. Don't eat in spring. What happened?
Guo: It is especially suitable for two kinds of noodles. Ok, let's eat the limited edition garlic first.
Y: Where is the limit of garlic?
Guo: You sound confused.
Y: it's not a mess.
Guo: You can't accept that international brand stores are all Zhajiang noodle restaurants.
Y: that's good. This is extraordinary enthusiasm.
Guo: Huh? Big brands of international companies, one after another, bloomers,
Yes, yes, yes.
Guo: Round mouth is portable. Here is a towel. Sir's here. Yours
Y: Here we are.
Guo: I haven't come to our place for shopping for several days.
Y: hey.
Guo: Where have you been?
Y: What are you talking about? This is ...
Guo: Look at it. We haven't spent several days here.
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Recently, things here are not bad.
Yes
Guo: I don't always sell money. The shopkeeper was really angry with anxiety.
Yes
Guo: Look at our schoolbags. It's a great honor to carry the shampoo room on your back.
Y: Why the shampoo room?
Guo: Don't go, sir. The price is negotiable. Where is the price?
Y: ah.
Guo: Are you really leaving?
Y: mm-hmm
Guo: Go and play, grandson!
Y: Ah, I was scolded.
(Reprinted with Degang Guo Post Bar: I like Degang Guo too much)
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