Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - 202 1 the classic funny personality most sought after by netizens.
202 1 the classic funny personality most sought after by netizens.
It's not wrong for you to look like this, it's just a crime.
3. You are invisible. You can't help talking to me. Your spirit is worth learning.
4, derailed men are like money on shit, not a pity, disgusting.
5. Jealousy is a knife, either inserted in others or in yourself.
6. Love usually means abandoning a fool and asking for a liar.
I like you, but you like her. I am a big joke.
8. Life is like an angry bird. When you make a mistake, there are always several pigs laughing.
9. Why is your mobile phone dead so soon? Tell me who you shot.
10, swearing is not necessarily a good person, some people pretend to be a gentleman with a bad stomach.
1 1. In the end, I'm still the one who treats you well, not the one you care about.
12, don't mess with me, I will let you die rhythmically, and I will give you pS.
13 I'm crossing the road. Where are you? I can't see your back.
14, you don't want me, so you are gay.
15, I want to eat you when I look at you. I can never resist your scent, dear braised pork.
16. The mouse turns into a bat at night, and the bat has a hair on its body. What kind of bird are you?
17, you are the most beautiful person in the world, and even the lice on your body are double eyelids.
18, with an annual salary of 8 million and a monthly salary of 800,000. I am dreaming.
One of my classmates is Deng. It adds up to six plus one equals seven.
20. Don't be infatuated with your brother, who is just a legend; Don't worry about me, I'll make you vomit blood.
2 1, girl, my hair is waist-high, remember I said I would be your sling.
22. Push me again and I'll play dead for you.
Of course you didn't have a girlfriend in your last life, but you will get used to it in the next life.
24. Get up in the morning and open the window. It's a beautiful day today, with clear skies in Wan Li.
25. The greeting person patted his ass, only to find that he was mistaken for someone else.
26. Mom said: Give me the lucky money and marry you when I grow up.
I asked my colleague where you went to school. He said he was in TV University.
28. The alarm clock only calls my body, but it can't call my spirit.
29, fatty, you are so standard, fat but not greasy.
30. If you don't want me, I will go to your house as a virgin in the middle of the night.
3 1, I only have one heart, see the injury.
32. Since ancient times, no one has died in life. Bad guys die first, good guys die later.
33. How many points the teacher gives me, I hope the teacher can live for how many years.
34. When pretending to be a trend, I think of the silly appearance in front of the monitor.
35. As beautiful as flowers and jade, but not as long as water, they all turned into old women with crow's feet.
36. How can people not get shot when they are walking in rivers and lakes? People mix in the world, how can they not be stabbed?
I remember that it wouldn't snow when I sent you charcoal.
38. Altman after the impulse, what did you make the little girl feel?
39. The green hills are still there and the green water is still flowing, but now the mountains are no longer green and the water is no longer flowing.
40. The bus has driven to the front of the mountain, but I can't find my way home.
4 1, business is gone, people are gone. What can we say about benevolence and righteousness?
42. After the storm, there are no seven-color rainbows.
43. Sending goose feathers a thousand miles away means that the oil price is too high. Will it be reimbursed?
44. A hero and three gangs finally formed a charming woman.
God didn't give me much responsibility, but I was still hungry and tired.
46. There was a way to do things, but many people left and were blocked.
If a student's cough can't be cured, he certainly doesn't want to go to class to pretend. Hit him and you'll be fine.
48. I am not gentle. You treat me like a pure man.
49. If you say you are pure, then there will be no smelly water in this world, all of which belong to Mengniu.
When you look at an ugly person with deep affection, you are cruel.
Talk about your favorite super funny personality space.
Talk about your favorite super funny personality space.
1. Don't bully me just because I look weak. Kitty, cats can also become tigers.
When I was a child, I said the most to my companions, that is, I won't be with you if you don't want it.
Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no choice but to grow old together.
4. Journey to the West is like Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf. One will never eat Tang Priest, and the other will never eat sheep.
When you are in a bad mood, go to the school gate and kick your bike one by one.
I really don't understand why I have to pedal before I can play with rock, paper, scissors.
I know what you will be like tomorrow, really, I will tell you the day after tomorrow.
8. Eat or not eat snacks, with a big face there, not sad or happy;
9. Since ancient times, no one has died in life. Why should we die together?
10. When I was a child, my mother often gave me a cup of foreign coffee. I didn't know it was Banlangen until I grew up.
1 1. I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
12. You are my father and I am your grandfather. Solve it mathematically. I am still your father.
13. Come to me when no one wants you, and I will tell you that I don't want you either.
14. I am not a bone. I can't let every dog run after me.
15. Man struggles upwards as long as he is not afraid of dying on Mount Everest.
16. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people. .
17. Now students are so rude that they don't even talk to me in class.
18. How much money do you have in your bag? Give me a kilo.
19. In fact, if you like a girl, buy her more food. If you get fat, no one will chase you. It's yours.
20. When I was a child, I was afraid to raise my hand to go to the toilet, so I told my deskmate. He raised his hand and shouted,' Teacher, he said he was in a hurry.
2 1. I still remember the classic school saying: I'll wait for you after school.
Beethoven told us that the more you recite, the more you score. This is the law of "more back points".
23. When the value of your jewelry exceeds your intrinsic value, you are fashionable.
Funny personality, talk about super drag
1, when there is a bright moon, look up by yourself. 2, you will die soon, don't just bask in the sun.
3. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.
It's one thing to wake up, but it's another to get up.
5. Follow your footsteps and travel around the world.
6, people love the city, and we have a power outage in the whole city.
7. Yes, you are a smart man, but your surname is weak.
8. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
9. Like is light love, and love is deep love.
10, leave when you say it, and stay when you say it. That's interesting.
1 1, I like children, and I like the process of being a child!
12, whoever delays me for a while, I will make him regret it for the rest of his life.
13, I have given up my youth, and I am willing to accompany you to the old age.
14, a good lover makes people want to start a family, and a bad lover makes people want to become a monk.
15, the fish lived in the tears of water, but died in the arms of the chopping board.
16, even if a person has been bumpy, no one wants to stay.
17, I licked my fingers and cried.
18, after walking for so long, I found that the only thing I can rely on is myself.
19, every parent has jet lag, obviously he just wants to say 8: 30.
20. Touching your mobile phone while doing your homework is like chewing dazzling gum.
2 1, you said we would grow old together, but you secretly baked oil.
22. I am an animal when I take off my clothes, and I am the devil wears Prada when I put on my clothes!
23. There are more and more monsters in this world, but fewer and fewer Taoist priests in Tang Dynasty.
24. If a tree is not peeled, it will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.
I licked my fingers and cried.
26. Don't let others get you easily, or you will be easily forgotten.
27. I dare not look in the mirror for too long, because I am afraid I will fall in love with myself.
28. Sunday morning was white, and the garbage collectors lined up.
29. One day, the bear went to cut his nails, and then it became a small energy.
Today, my mother asked me why I smoked. I said I like eating ash!
3 1, when men and women flirt, the most distinctive Chinese character is born: bump.
32. Hunger can keep a clear head. Loneliness can restore the lack of humanity.
33. Part I: Maybe it seems to be approximate; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible.
34. Women are tools to make human beings, and men are human beings who use tools.
35. As the saying goes, if you are not afraid of leaders being like donkeys, you are afraid of subordinates being like pigs.
36, people can't take money into the grave. But money can take people to the grave.
37. The ending of this scene is prosperity, not beauty, not dumping the country, but dumping all of me.
38, a person, listening to the songs of two people, so warm and sad.
39. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.
40. We are good friends. I'll help you when you fall, but let me finish laughing first.
4 1, take a few selfies even if you don't go out after washing your hair, otherwise it's not a white wash.
42. When crossing the road, you held my hand tightly. I know this is happiness.
43. Sleeping for seven hours at school is not enough, but sleeping for five hours during holidays is twice as energetic.
44. In the days when we grow old together, because of our friends, we are colorful.
45. look at you Look at your back. You are in a hurry, and you scare away millions of lions as soon as you turn your head.
46. The word I love you is ecstasy. How many people have been taken away by it, leaving only their bodies.
47. Nowadays, people are following the trend. Everyone likes to cover their mouths with deodorant socks.
48. When sitting in the classroom bored, I fantasize about the bloody scene where the ceiling fan rotates every time.
49. A lonely man is widowed, and a girl says she is cold, which is actually a kind of hooliganism.
50. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth?
5 1, you don't feel like a dormitory when you sleep in the classroom, do you?
52. The situation on campus is basically that girls wear nightclubs and boys wear migrant workers' clothes.
53. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.
54. Who is your mother? I want to ask her why she has so much courage to give birth to you.
55. I know that love needs freedom to be happy; I'd rather be with you and go with you.
56, we are all like children, fooling around because we rely on you; Be polite, because you are an outsider.
57. I don't care if there is anyone outside you or who you marry, as long as you don't leave me.
58. Why do you quarrel? Can't we just sit down and cut each other a few times calmly?
59. I tried to give up perfectly, and I was really practical. You left, I left, and you and I separated.
60. Every time I tell you a lot, you just answer yes. Have you been taking a shit?
6 1. We are good friends. I'll give you a hand when you fall, but only after I finish laughing.
62. People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes. .
63. People who like me are good people, people who don't like me are bad people, and people who hate me are not people.
64. If your boyfriend ignores you when playing LOL, it is enough to remove the R key of his keyboard and forward positive energy at will.
65. The only thing in the world that you can get for nothing is poverty, and the only thing that you can make out of nothing is a dream.
66. When you stay in nature for a long time, staying in the depths will naturally sprout. When you sprout to the limit, you can easily get married and marry someone else to continue your residence.
67. Rich girl: Have you ever seen a famous brand? My bag says LV! Me: I have studied pinyin and seen donkeys, right?
68. Ten dollars fell into the cesspit. I thought about it, threw another hundred dollars, and then fished it all up. I am a special correspondent!
69, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, it may be Tang Yan; Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but sometimes birds.
70. Never quarrel with your parents, because if you win, you will only be scolded, and if you win, you will only be beaten.
7 1. Put the used toothpick back into the toothpick jar and shake it. Later, I went to a restaurant for dinner and found that many people have the same habit.
72. The wife is a big tree, and the lover is a grass. Planting a big tree is good for enjoying the cool, and raising a piece of grass is good for walking birds, which is a harmonious society and environmental protection.
73. Being a koala in the next life, sleeping for 20 hours, eating for 2 hours and being in a daze for 2 hours every day is the most perfect life!
74. I study Tyrannosaurus rex feed, eunuch fertility, and how much start-up capital is needed to engage in real estate on Mars.
75. I was so happy to see you just now, so comfortable to see you again, so sad to miss you, so hard to chase you, please fulfill my heart!
76. Master, I also want to go to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures. Come on, not everyone can meet so many sexy fairies on the road.
77. The teacher asked: There is a kind of horse in the world, which is black and white. What kind of horse is it? Xiaoming: QR code! Teacher: Get out.
When you ask the male toad what is the most beautiful, his answer must be the female toad. There is no doubt about his appreciation level, but his environment is different.
79. When the flood comes, don't worry, try to avoid high places, remember when waiting for rescue, keep calm and physical strength, and handle unexpected problems carefully.
80, a pot of wine in the flowers, idle smoke; Until, holding up my cup, I asked the moon that there was no money; Have sex when you wake up and pay when you are drunk. Will goodwill be guaranteed? , eat and drink!
8 1, luminous glass of wine, I want to raise my glass to my friends. Looking up, you can't see the sky, you can't see the moon, and your head is long. Don't laugh when you are drunk in the wine field, but get drunk when you meet your bosom friend.
82. Yesterday, a foreign friend said gratefully after eating zongzi: The dim sum is really delicious, but the lettuce outside is a little hard, but it is very sweet, and the floss is ready. . .
Classic, super drag, funny personality, tell me about Daquan.
1. If I have money, I will buy two BMW cars, one to clear the way for me in front, one to protect me in the back, and I will ride a bike in the middle.
2. I am very sad. I showed him my best side, but he saw the distant scenery.
3. When in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their last life; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.
There may be several women who don't eat, but none who are not jealous.
When you feel insignificant, think about your goals. When you are self-righteous, try to make your own decisions.
6. After class, the teacher said: What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have this time?
7. The teacher's greatest characteristic is: knowing perfectly well past asking, the teacher's greatest hobby is talking to himself, and the teacher's best skill is spitting stars everywhere.
8. When the teacher asks me to answer questions in class, I always say, Teacher, please look at the answer and I'll see if it's right.
9, the school broadcast, class is over, teacher: You have worked hard, class is over, classmates, you are suffering again.
10, growing up, I never used an eraser completely. I didn't cut it or stick it with a pen when I was bored. I just lost it.
1 1. What is Tang Priest riding? Wukong is a floating cloud, Bajie loves Xiaoyue Yue, and Friar Sand pretends to be Brother Sharp.
12, I have to watch the Forbes rich list every morning when I get up. If my name is not on it, I will go downstairs to have breakfast and then go to work.
13, when I was a child, my worst dream was to find a toilet. My biggest fear is that people don't wake up and find the toilet.
14,-that day, I couldn't say it, maybe I wasn't humorous enough, holding your hand, I was worried that my hand was sweating …
15, whoever ignores me again, I will tell him a story: once upon a time, there was a man who didn't like talking to me and died the next day.
16, I thought I was a god, I could settle myself, and I could be kind to all beings. But in the end, there was nothing. I didn't help you.
17, a junior said: Why did my mobile phone turn on flight mode and fall from the seventh floor or break?
18, I don't know, because it is becoming more and more independent. Still more and more guilty. Walking for so long. I found that the only thing I could rely on was myself.
19, Wei Zi asked Erkang: "Are you happy?" "The surname is Fu." "Are you satisfied?" "Well, Manchu.
20. I once had a sincere feeling in front of me, and I didn't cherish it. Now that I think about it, fortunately, I didn't cherish it.
2 1, why is it not hot at all! If it's always so cool, how can my brothers and sisters do military training?
22, a day without reading, no one can see; If you don't study for a week, it will start to explode; If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.
23. I am only responsible for what I say. As for how you understand what I said, it's not my responsibility.
24. A math teacher is teaching an analytic equation in class. He rolled up his sleeves and said to his classmates, "Look, classmates, I'm going to be deformed.
25. A teacher asked the students. Why does the body get cold after death? A student replied: peace of mind is naturally cool.
26. The biggest pain in life is that when school starts soon, you obviously don't want to go to school, but someone still forces you to hate going to school.
27. Women are plump when they are fat, slim when they are thin, slim when they are tall, and exquisite when they are short. Men are fat pigs, thin ribs, tall bamboo poles and short wax gourd!
28. What should I do if I meet a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.
29. It is said that when two people get along for a long time, they will reach an inexplicable tacit understanding: if you ignore me, I will ignore you.
30. When I was a child, I didn't dare to raise my hand to go to the toilet, so I told my deskmate, but he raised his hand and shouted at the teacher. He said he was in a hurry.
3 1, I want to order a song "I can't learn" by JJ Lin and give it to my favorite Chinese, chemistry, math, English and all my teachers.
I am a millionaire at midnight, a billionaire at midnight and the richest man in the world at dawn. I lost my job this morning. This dream is really good.
33. I saw a penny by the roadside. I was just about to bend down and pick it up. It looks like phlegm. Damn it, who threw up so round?
34. I learned to jump off a building. The twentieth floor and the second floor have different effects. The second floor is bang, ah! Twentieth floor. Yeah ~ ~ ~ Bang!
The most painful thing in the world is not where you are going, but that your future mother-in-law can only call her aunt when standing in front of her.
36. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!
37. If you are willing to peel my heart layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised at my lack of mind.
38. The first part: I don't make a sound when reading in the wind and rain. The second part: family affairs, state affairs and world affairs are none of your business. Horizontal batch: while playing.
39. If one day, I no longer care about you, please remember that I have been crying and laughing alone.
40. Being a koala in the next life, sleeping for 20 hours, eating for 2 hours and being in a daze for 2 hours every day, is the perfect life!
4 1, one person lives, two people have fun, three people fight to the death, four people ... why don't we play cards?
42. We only have one earth, so everyone should cherish it. There is only one me on the earth, so everyone should love me!
43. From the simple and lovely forest to the ruthless Shangguan Yi. I must have seen love before.
44. There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friend list like dead people, occasionally cheating the corpse and changing the epitaph from time to time.
45. The so-called textbook is to expand a very simple term into something we don't know.
46. There is a heart for knowledge, but it breeds a life that fails the subject. There is a heart to lose weight, but it breeds a life of eating goods.
47. Three apples changed the world: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and one was bitten by Jobs.
48. What is the theme of the exam composition? I handed in my paper, and the composition was only five words. This is courage.
49. In the face of your stupid questions, if my system had no intelligence, I'm afraid it would have collapsed because of your anger.
50. Girls' tears are cowardice, while boys' tears are cowardice. It is natural for girls to spend money on boys, and it is natural for boys to spend money on girls.
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