Laugh till your stomach hurts.

1. When you like 1 people, the brain will automatically add filters to whiten and exfoliate, and when you don't like them, it will change to the original picture every second. God, was I blind?

I just saw someone like you. I chased like crazy, only remember that there was no you in this city, and I stopped. I put down the brick in my hand and almost hit the wrong person.

3. A buddy in the dormitory has no money at the end of the month. Every time he cooks, he always orders braised pork first, then says no, and finally orders a shredded potato for bibimbap. I asked him, isn't that unnecessary? He said that there is only one spoon for cooking, and you can get some soup with braised pork.

When I was a hero, a girl was willing to lay down her life for me. She said firmly, "If you pester me like this again, I will die."

The best way to deal with those who use silence to cover up their ignorance is to deal with a man as he deals with you.

6. A beggar in Lu Yu said to me with tears in his eyes, "Have pity on me, I can't remember the last time I had a full meal." I felt sorry for him and comforted him: "Don't worry, you will always remember it when you think about it slowly."

7. When I was in college, I saw my roommate playing games in the dormitory one day. I said to him, "The exam is tomorrow. Don't you study?" The roommate calmly replied: "The day after tomorrow, am I wrong?" So I continued to argue with him. Just as we were quarreling, another buddy in the dormitory was surprised and asked, "You didn't go to the exam this morning!" " "

Eight. People who lose weight must not add any weight loss groups. On the surface, they can encourage each other, but it is useless. If you are not the fattest, you will relax because someone is at the bottom.

9. An idiot classmate showed off his money in front of me with a dime ticket. I said, "Isn't it just a dime?" What are you showing off? "Who knows, he came and said," Can you change it? "

I finally found a girlfriend recently and went shopping together. She went to the fitting room to try on clothes. Maybe she has been single for a long time. When I was confused, I thought I was the only one, so I went home. Can I have something to eat with her?

Eleven. On the eve of the wedding, my father handed me a wooden box: Son, this is an ancestral treasure of our family. You must take good care of it. I opened the box carefully and found a pair of knee pads inside.

No matter how beautiful your face is, it will grow old one day. I don't think I can afford this loss, so I have never looked good.

Before I got married, I thought I could change the world After I got married, I suddenly realized that I couldn't even change the TV channel!

Thirteen. What do you envy those girls who live a comfortable, comfortable, relaxed, happy and simple life? In terms of figure, appearance, education and work, you are not worse than them, except for a rich husband.

I found out that I was a bad boy, and your father was absolutely right. But I'm not bad now. I have a conscience. My conscience is you. Really.

15. Bet with my husband whether the typhoon will come today. I said no, and my husband said he would definitely come. So I made a bet, and my husband smiled slyly and said, "You must lose." I insist: "If you lose, you won't be surnamed Zhou!" ""Oh, I see, your name is porridge! "

Recently, some people say that it is too easy for our dentists to make money. It takes more than 500 seconds to pull out a tooth. I'm not happy to hear that. If you like, I can show it to you in slow motion.

17. It doesn't matter. You're not fighting alone. When you are lonely, please remember that there is Qian Qian's single dog behind you!

18. I bought a bottle of rat poison, which said it was pure natural and did not contain any additives. I want to know. Why? Still afraid that mice are unhealthy?

19. I bought clothes yesterday, and the boss said 389. As soon as I thought about it, my heart was crossed and I said, Do you want to sell it at 80? The boss is very refreshing: 80 is 80! I gave him 100. I didn't expect the boss to say: I can't change it, you can take another one!

20. Every time I go shopping, many people send me small advertisements. Small leaflets, alas, this is me, so beautiful that people give me "paper"

2 1. Why do friends of the poor have to be poor, and can't they really integrate into the life circle of local tyrants? Is it difficult to make friends with a rich man in Gao Fushuai? Should the poor be poor all their lives? Is this society really so unfair? Thought of here, it is difficult to control their emotions, sitting on a private jet and crying. After a while, the cashier in the supermarket came out and said, why are you crying? You can't move without putting coins, don't you know?