Requesting 20 classic jokes

1. When I was a child, the most annoying things were eating and sleeping. Now that I think about it, I was so blessed that I didn’t know how lucky I was.

2. My wife always likes to warn me not to find a lover by crying, making trouble, and hanging herself. This makes me very angry because she never uses the third trick.

3. Asking someone to pay you back is like having a secret love. You will always feel embarrassed to say it. When you work up the courage to say it, it becomes like a confession, and maybe you don't even have to be friends.

4. Please cherish the people who treat you well, otherwise if you miss this one, you don’t know when you will meet another blind person again.

5. My idea is very simple, make more money and find someone who will fall in love with me because of my money, rather than simply because of my kindness, integrity and beauty.

6. My wife is often angry recently. When she is angry, she likes to buy bags. I said: Why do you women buy so many bags? This is a disease and it needs to be cured! My wife replied: It can cure hundreds of diseases.

7. If you have anything to say in the future, say it directly. Don’t always be there. If nothing happens, I will be here for decades.

8. I met an old classmate on the street today. I didn’t expect that he was so poor, but he only put one dollar into my bowl.

9. After my wife disappeared, I immediately went to the police station to call the police. The policeman said to me: Calm down first. You won’t be able to record the incident if you keep laughing like this.

10. A buddy likes to chat online. Once I went to meet a female netizen. I asked him what was going on? He said: I passed the written test but failed the interview.

11. My wife had to go to work today and said to the child, "I will assign a task to your father. You can help me supervise it and make sure he doesn't get lazy!" "Promise to complete the task!" Daughter He jumped up excitedly, looked at me proudly, and looked at me triumphantly. "The only thing you do at home today is to urge your children to do their homework!" my wife said to me. The daughter... gave her mother a hard look.

12. I sprained my ankle at work. Upon seeing this, my colleague showed concern and gave me two plasters. I resisted many times and he still remained enthusiastic. I was quite touched. As a result, I was given two plasters today, and a bill was attached. He said that he bought them for 20 yuan when he sprained his feet last time, and he resold them to me at a loss of 15 yuan.

13. If you feel that you are alone on Valentine's Day, turn off the lights, turn on the TV, and play a ghost movie. After a while, you will feel that there are people in the kitchen and toilet. There are people everywhere, anyway, you are not alone, you will never be lonely or bored again.

14. I smiled and said: Eating noodles will not make you obese, but the sugar in it will... Before I finished speaking, my father calmly said: Pull it off, your mother is just Looking for a reason not to wash the pot...reason...reason...by.

15. I recently learned to drive, and the driving school instructor had a particularly bad temper. Just scolded me: Why are you so stupid? A steering wheel hung around a dog's neck is better than your driving! I was so angry that I said harshly: Just wait for me, I must make you look good, and then ran home... No For a long time, I led a giant Tibetan mastiff to the coach whose legs were trembling, and yelled: Let it go! Turn on!

16. I was charging and playing games. My mother told me not to let my phone explode easily. I said it was okay and continued playing there. Suddenly the house became dark. My dad rushed over and pointed at me and said, "Why are you so disobedient? It's all your fault. I just started this game." I said: Why are you yelling at me? It was my mother who pulled the switch. Dad said: If I don’t yell at you, who will I yell at? Do I dare to yell at your mother? I...Okay, you're right, you win.

17. In the supermarket parking lot, I saw a lady reversing her car. I enthusiastically stepped forward to direct her: "Back up! Back up! Back up again!..." The car hit the wall with a bang. The lady walked up to me angrily, and I politely took out my business card and handed it to her: "Hello, I'm from the auto repair shop across the street. Say my name and get a 20% discount."

18. The day before yesterday , my wife and I came back from a walk, and I poured a glass of water for my wife. When my wife drank it, she said, "It scalds me to death. Why don't you try it before giving it to me?" Yesterday, my wife and I came back from a walk. I poured a glass of water, took a sip and found that it was not scalding, so I was about to give it to my wife.

Wife: "I only drink by myself when I come back! I don't know how to pour me a cup!": Me: .....

19. I saw an old man riding a bicycle fall down on the street today. I hurriedly stepped forward and was about to help him, when a buddy riding a bicycle next to me advised me: Don’t be impulsive, brother, be careful not to be fooled! I hesitated for a moment, and the guy went on to say: Have you seen my bicycle? I exchanged it for a BMW back then.

Twenty. Husband: Wife, mice have begun to overrun our house. Is it because our kittens’ ability to catch mice has begun to deteriorate? Wife: Maybe I’m older! Husband: No way, it’s only two years old. Son: Mom and Dad, it’s all my fault. In order to make the cat more hygienic, I cut off all its nails!