Interesting chat record

Landlord: Chris Lee and Sister Furong fell into the water at the same time. You have a brick in your hand. Who did you hit?

Violent reply: who saves who.

2:

Landlord: I hit my dog! He did not tell me about the earthquake. During the earthquake just now, he usually slept in his nest screaming happily as if nothing had happened!

Reply: Well, after all, it's not your own. ...

3:

Landlord: Please describe China National Seismological Station in one sentence.

Answer: wise after the event, like a pig beforehand!

4:

Landlord of the Forum: Last night, when walking the dog, our big Tibetan mastiff and a bald wild dog on the edge of the grove bit each other. Fuck! Unexpectedly, the Tibetan mastiff was defeated by a grass dog! ! !

Forum sofa: * * *, before I went bald, they all called me a lion!

5:

Landlord: When I was in college, I skipped classes, failed, dumped people, got dumped, fought, made mistakes, and broke places ... Hey, I tried my best ~

Reply: Have you ever died?

6:

Landlord: I like a girl who is 6 years younger than me and is still in junior high school. This is a sin.

Violent reply: it is really sinful to remove the word like.

7:

Landlord: Tell a story that starts with KB, is funny in the middle and has a tragic ending. For example, once upon a time there was a ghost who farted and died.

I met Sister Furong, fell in love with Sister Furong and married Sister Furong. ...

8:

Landlord ya: chatting with those idiots who go to work every day makes me feel that my future is very bleak. ...

Be happy ~ because it's not terrible to play the piano for cows. What's terrible is that a group of cows play the piano for you every day!

9:

Landlord: A female vendor selling pineapples in Nantou, Shenzhen, bit off my uncle's penis in desperation. ...

Reply: Hum! You won't let me live, and I won't let you enjoy life! ! !

10:

Landlord: Actually, Newton was just lucky to discover the law of gravity. If I had been born 300 years earlier, I could have done it!

Answer: He was really lucky, because it was an apple that hit his head, and it was either durian or coconut that hit the poor landlord's head. ...

1 1:

Landlord: Do you want to make your uncle miserable or your brother miserable?

Violent reply: Uncle, your brother is out.

12:

Landlord: Urban management adds new weapons to catch stray dogs!

Violent reply: the same root is born, so I want to fry too fast.

13:

Landlord: Why do more and more people don't want children?

Violent reply: Senior officials sent by Beijing said they should start with dolls.

14:

Landlord: I saw a male netizen today, and the other party has been hinting at going to bed. I want to ask: is it because netizens go to bed when they meet now?

Violent reply: don't netizens go to bed when they meet? Are you kidding? Everyone is busy.

15:

Landlord: A student, with the lowest grade every year, often fights with others. According to the leader's request, the teacher wants to give students better final comments. How to write?

Violent reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability.

16:

Landlord: Through the incident of drinking mineral water to death in Hainan, we can see that food safety in China is worrying, and mineral water can also kill people? Is there no sign of QS?

Violent reply: weak, is QS going to die?

17:

Landlord: Dude, do you want Chris Lee or Zhang Ziyi?

Violent reply: neither a rooster nor a pheasant.

18:

Landlord: Which is more economical, dogs or people?

Violent reply: Auntie, even if you can treat men as dogs, do you dare to treat dogs as men?

19:

Landlord: My wife gave birth to a baby girl, which is very cute. Please give my daughter a nice name. My last name is Cheng.

A mature chicken thinks of Han.

20:

Landlord of the forum: I have1000000, and I want to buy a car. Please give me some advice.

Forum reply: You can sell 30 QQ cars and drive in teams, with S-type cars and B-type cars for a while.

2 1:

Wang married Chen. Please comment in four words.

Forum reply: You are getting better!

22:

Landlord: Do you think I look like Wu Bai?

Forum reply: Only half like it! (250! ! )

23:

Landlord: Give me a woman and I will create a country!

Well, I'll give you a sow, and the price of meat will fall next year!

24:

Forum landlord: Guess which country I am a mixed-race _

Forum reply: China people+deformed steel!

25:

Landlord of the forum: My girlfriend always says that she has small breasts, which I think is ok. Ask GG from the forum to help me identify it ~

Forum sofa: There are two pimples on the back!

26:

Landlord: If I have 100 million RMB, I can get a loan to buy a house in Tomson Yipin!

Forum reply: Yes, but you have to borrow money to pay the property fee first ~

27:

Landlord of the forum: He vowed today that I am a part of his life and I am a part of his body. He can't live without me ~

Forum sofa: That's what my ex-boyfriend said. Later, I learned that I am as dispensable as his appendix, ears and six fingers!

28:

Landlord: I am so rich, what kind of car should I buy for the nanny?

Forum reply: that depends on what relationship she has developed with your husband ~

29:

Landlord of the forum: The damn barber shop cut off my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone.

Forum basement: Late at night, the moon is dark and windy, quietly and gently, hanging alone in front of the barber shop. ...

30:

Forum landlord: What should I do if I lose my memory?

Forum reply: Isn't this cool? I wake up every morning and find different women sleeping beside me ~

3 1:

Landlord of the forum: When you were a child, did you imagine what kind of scene would make you show off in front of everyone when you grew up?

Forum bench: Pick a cart of dung and go to the street to see who is not pleasing to the eye and throw it at him head-on!

32:

Landlord of the forum: Why does pol.ice sound a siren when catching bad guys? Aren't you afraid that horrible bosses will hear you and run away?

Forum sofa: Generally, the superior unit will inform the subordinate unit in advance before coming to check ~

33:

Landlord of the forum: Why do children born have the same surname as their fathers?

Forum sofa: Because the money spit out by ATM belongs to the cardholder.

34:

Landlord of the forum: Handsome is useless-it is not eaten by a chess piece in the end!

Forum reply: Handsome guys have companies, guns, horses, cars and unrequited love ... What's wrong with handsome men? ! !

35:

Landlord of the forum: collect one of the most malicious and unspoken swearing words.

Forum reply 3 1: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you?

36:

Forum Leader: Why did President Hu's visit to Japan leave the Japanese side cold, and didn't even hang the welcome slogan at the airport?

Forum sofa: How to hang it? Warmly welcome old Japanese friends to China?

37:

Landlord: Isn't it hot for you women to wear bras in summer?

Forum reply: We will be hot without you. ...

38:

Landlord: I bought a new manor. How big is it? It scared you to death-I drove for two and a half hours! ! !

Forum sofa: well, I used to have such a broken car ~