Joke: borrow fire.

There is a post that says:

In fact, how much money you spend every month has little to do with your income. Many people around have three or four thousand yuan a month, but many people borrow money everywhere all day.

My monthly income is 1500 (of course, only 1200 is really available, because I have to pay taxes and four gold). My salary is paid directly to the card, but I usually don't take this card with me, only a few hundred dollars in cash and a gold card from China Merchants Bank. But my monthly expenses are only about 300 yuan, which may not be enough (because I don't have specific records). The cost breakdown is roughly as follows:

House: I bought it myself and didn't need to spend money;

Mobile phone fee: about 50 yuan (using CDMA package, monthly rent is free, usually in the office or at home, usually using landline);

Transportation cost: In order to increase the amount of exercise, I go to work by bike every day;

Meal fee: I used to eat in the restaurant downstairs of the company, but later I thought it was expensive and not delicious, so I brought food from home, and I figured out the cost of 4 yuan or so; In the morning, it costs about 1.2 yuan to cut steamed bread with two knives and a glass of milk. In the evening, I usually only drink porridge and eat a la carte, at most 1.5 yuan. About one month later: 6.7 * 30 = 201;

Pocket money: because there is no hobby of alcohol and tobacco, there is nothing to spend at ordinary times. It's just that there are many classmates, so we often get together and go out for dinner or tea and coffee. There are also some when it's my turn to pay the bill. It is estimated that 1500 should be enough for one year, with an average of about 120 per month.

Others: like outdoor sports, but don't buy fitness cards, don't play ball in the park square, and don't practice dumbbells at home. It costs nothing. Books are rarely bought now, and the internet is so developed that you can find all the information you need online. I never surf the Internet at home, because I surf the Internet in the office during the day (including online work), which saves me another sum.

It adds up to less than 400 yuan, and this life is also very rich. Therefore, the amount of money spent is not directly related to the quality of life, and it has nothing to do with income.

1) Another boss immediately said:

Is the landlord really an idiot? !

Poor brothers only talk about housekeeping and frugality. You always get such a high salary. How dare you say that? Can't help but scold you:

You never buy clothes, because you go to work naked and the whole street can't see you!

You never pay the property management fee, because your property there is owned by your family!

You never pay for a phone call at home because someone else put the wrong line on your phone line!

You never give money to your parents, because they may have died or divorced you!

You never have any maintenance expenses, because you have no wife and children who live only by drinking water like people!

You never repair your bike, because when your car breaks down, the bike factory will send you a new one!

It doesn't cost money to buy CDMA, and it doesn't generate telephone charges, because it doesn't need Unicom to collect mobile phones and telephone charges, and it can't be put in the warehouse, so I have to give you my mobile phone for free and keep it in my bag as a souvenir!

You don't eat meat for a year, because your body is special, and any nutrition you lack can be automatically supplemented by breathing!

I really can't go on, because I find you are really strong! ! !

2) Something worse will happen soon:

It's interesting to see friends introducing their lives here. In fact, how much money you spend every month has little to do with your income. Many people around have three or four thousand yuan a month, but many people borrow money everywhere all day.

My monthly income is 15000 (of course, only 12000 is really available, because I have to pay taxes and four gold). My salary is paid directly to the card, but I usually don't wear this card, only bring a few dollars in cash and a cheat device with me. But my monthly expenses are only about 30, which may not be enough (because I don't have specific records). The cost breakdown is roughly as follows:

House: I picked up bricks and built it myself, without spending money;

Water, electricity and gas: the water pump comes in without electricity and gas;

Mobile phone fee: 0 (all my friends around me have it, so I will use theirs if I want to use it. I usually use a landline in the office, and I will use the next door at home);

Transportation expenses: in order to increase the amount of exercise, I walk to and from work every day;

Meal fee: I used to eat in the restaurant downstairs of the company, but later I thought it was expensive or not, so I ate the leftovers of my female colleagues because they had a small appetite; Do not eat in the morning; In the evening, I usually only drink porridge and eat a la carte, mostly in 0.8 yuan. About one month: 0.8*30=24 pieces;

Pocket money: because there is no hobby of alcohol and tobacco, there is nothing to spend at ordinary times. It's just that there are many classmates, and they often get together, go out for dinner or drink tea and coffee, and slip away when it's my turn to pay the bill;

Others: like outdoor sports, but don't buy fitness cards, don't go to Lulu camp on the overpass, and don't practice dumbbells at home. It costs nothing. Few people buy books nowadays, but they are usually stolen. The network is so developed that you need to look up information online. I never surf the Internet at home, because I surf the Internet in the office during the day (including online work), which saves me another sum.

It adds up to less than 30 yuan, and this life is also very rich. Therefore, the amount of money spent is not directly related to the quality of life, and it has nothing to do with income.

3) An angry brother said:

Shit!

According to your calculation, the city government is fucking * * *?

The minimum living security line in Shanghai is 580!

You are still alive at 300 a month, and it is estimated that one month 10 is enough for subsistence allowances.

4) the most NB one said:

My monthly income is 1500 (of course, only 1200 is really available, because I have to pay taxes and four gold). My salary is paid directly to the card, but I usually don't wear this card, only bring a few dollars in cash and a cheat device with me. But my monthly expenses are only -3 12.2 pairs, and maybe more (because I don't have detailed records). The cost breakdown is roughly as follows:

House: -299, living under someone else's eaves, and watching the door for others by the way, 299 yuan per month;

Water, electricity and gas: water is taken out of the unit in buckets and then stored when it rains. Electric energy is produced by solar energy. When there is no sun, lightning is connected and no gas is needed. I usually pick some firewood to make a fire in the corridor, and sometimes I can have a meal when something comes out of someone else's chimney.

Mobile phone fee: -30, (all my friends around me have it, so I'll use theirs if I want to use it. I usually use the landline in the office and the one next door at home. In addition, if you go to the mobile company to claim exposure, you can get the hush money around 30 yuan;

Transportation expenses: In order to increase the amount of exercise, cats walk to and from work every day with their heads down and occasionally pick up a lump;

Meal fee: I used to eat in the restaurant downstairs of the company, but later I thought it was expensive or not, so I ate the leftovers of my female colleagues because they had a small appetite; Do not eat in the morning; In the evening, I usually only drink porridge and eat a la carte, mostly in 0.8 yuan. After one month (working days only), it is probably: 08*2 1= 16.8 yuan. On non-working days, lie in bed and hunger strike (also called crossing the valley).

Pocket money: I have a hobby of alcohol and tobacco, but I don't need to spend anything at ordinary times. I have a cigarette in my hand and ask someone for a light. If I am quick, I will steal a bite from someone else. If I'm slow, I'll just take a cigarette and leave. I call it a smoking overlord. As for wine, you can pour clothes and wash them at home when others treat you, and occasionally go to the hospital to pick up alcohol cotton balls to improve. It's just that there are many classmates, so we often get together and go out for dinner or tea or coffee. When it's my turn to pay, I'll slip away. If I can't slip away, I will press my ID card and pay 10 for another one.

Others: like outdoor sports, but don't buy fitness cards, don't go to Lulu Camp on Tianqiao, and don't do push-ups at home. It costs nothing. Few people buy books nowadays, but they are usually stolen. The network is so developed that you need to look up information online. I never surf the Internet at home, because I surf the Internet in the office during the day (including online work), which saves me another sum.

The total cost is -3 12.2 yuan (the absolute value will increase according to the amount of money found), and this life is also very rich. So how much money you spend has nothing to do with the quality of life, let alone your income.

5) worship the landlord said:

Idol! You are my idol! What is Stephen Chow? You are more humorous than him! What is Chow Yun Fat? You have more temperament than him! What is Jay Chou? You are more talented than him! Who is Zhou? You are better than him! What is Zhou Xun? You are smarter than her! What is Zhou Zhiruo? You are more beautiful than her! What is Emil Wakin Chau? You can sing better than him! What is Zhou Shuren? You are a master of literature! What is Zhou Wuwang? You love recruiting talents more than he does! What is Duke Zhou? You are better at interpreting dreams than he is! How did Zhou skinned the skin? You are better at crowing than he is! What is Zhou Yu? You look more like a train than her! What is Zhou Yu? You're angrier than he is! What is Zhou Zhou? You are more talented in music than he is!

I want to keep your post firmly in mind and engrave it in my heart; I'm going to learn movable type printing and print this post into type; I am going to learn sculpture and carve this post into a statue; I'm going to learn to write poetry and change this post into an immortal poem; I'm going to learn to write lyrics and change this post into lyrics; I'm going to learn to sing and sing this post widely; I want to talk in my sleep, and I want to recite it affectionately in my dream. I'm going to learn tattoos and post this post to everyone! I want to do * * * to change all websites into this post; I want to be a judge and let all prisoners copy this post; I want to be the chairman of China Mobile and send this post to all mobile phone users. I want to be the president of Microsoft and change all computer operating systems to this position; I want to be God, so that millions of believers can only rely on this post as a Bible to guide their own light!

Landlord, I am a little calmer now, and I think I should do something practical. I decided to record your name first. Let future generations keep it in mind and tell it widely. Let them know what is the traditional virtue of China, what is the spirit of China people, what is the Yellow River water and what is the soul of the Yangtze River. Five thousand years of civilization is nothing!

Landlord! I have never been so happy, so happy, so happy in my life. I think I have found the true meaning of life, that is, I can read this post every day. Only in this way can life be full of vitality. But I only get physical satisfaction. My humble soul didn't get eternal life in the fire. I want to tell you that I can live like a person forever, like a real person. Only the landlord-you!

Maybe it's a no-no. Perhaps in the middle of this sentence, I was torn to pieces with my teeth by these followers who also worship you, but I am not afraid. You gave me infinite courage and guided me in the right direction. I looked up and your figure gradually emerged in the sky. You seem to be smiling at me, and you gently say, "Just do it!" " The sound is far and near, I know, it comes from my heart