Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Who can tell 10 jokes that make me laugh until my stomach breaks, give high marks.

Who can tell 10 jokes that make me laugh until my stomach breaks, give high marks.

1, the ant and the elephant got married, but the elephant died in a few days. The ant was very sad, crying and scolding: Dear, why did you walk in front of me? I don't have to do anything else in my fucking life, so I buried you!

2. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant nest, and the ants came out and climbed on the elephant. The elephant shook and the ant fell, leaving an ant on the elephant's neck. The ants in the underground shouted in unison, "strangle it!" " Strangle it! "

One day, the ant took his girlfriend, the elephant, home. After the elephant left, the ant said to his son, "son, don't do this marriage!" " My family is poor and can't afford such a big ring! "

The ant was watching a movie when suddenly the elephant sat in front of it, blocking the whole screen. The ant ran angrily to the front seat of the elephant, sat for a while, turned to the elephant and said, "You are very upset that I blocked the screen!" " "

An ant saw an elephant on the road. The ant got into the soil with only one leg exposed.

Little Nutbrown hare saw it and asked, "Why are your legs exposed?"

The ant said, "Shh! Don't make any noise, I'll trip his son! "

The next day, the rabbit saw the whole nest of ants waiting in line in a hurry and asked why.

The ant replied, "Yesterday, an elephant was tripped by one of our brothers and was seriously injured. Let's go and donate blood to that girl. "

Not long after, the rabbit saw a large number of ants coming back and asked what was going on. An ant said, "Oh, only one of them has the same blood type as that elephant. It is enough to leave him there to draw blood. "

7. On the third day, the rabbit came to ask the ant: Are you still alive? The ant said helplessly: I carried it back, damn it, my waist was bent and I fell too hard!

8. When an elephant gets sick, it should sue the ants. The court sentenced the ant to trip over the elephant and maliciously hurt it, and imprisoned it for 6 months.

The ant refuses to accept, "the crime of personal injury is imprisoned for up to 2 months. Why did you sentence me to half a year? "

Judge: "The crime of personal injury is sentenced to February, and tripping an elephant is a crime of racial discrimination, plus 4 months ..."

So the ant appealed to the High Court: We are equal to elephants, how can we "discriminate"? Please ask the high court to make a clear judgment, return our innocence and sue the judge for framing.

9. A few days later, the elephant suddenly died and everyone ran to see it. I found a female ant next to me. Just ask it how the elephant died. The mother ant cried and said, I will tell it that I am pregnant with its child and it will ~ ~ ~ ~

10, the mother ant laid a pile of eggs, hatched and hatched, and finally hatched a group of ostriches, shit! The death of an elephant is really unfair ~ ~

1 1. One day, the rabbit suddenly saw an elephant hiding behind a tree and sticking out a leg. He asked, "What are you doing?"

The elephant said, "Shh! Don't make any noise. I'll wait for the son of the ant turtle, so that I can mix him up and avenge my brother. "

12. As soon as the rabbit left the elephant, he heard the elephant scream, so he immediately ran back to see it. On the way, he met an ant panting on the roadside. After listening to the ant, the rabbit asked him: TMD wants to provoke Lao Zi, but fortunately I found out early and broke my foot!

13. The elephant was sent back to the hospital because the femoral artery was broken. This time, I lost more blood, which is not enough to lose 80L. The blood bank is in an emergency, and the only ant that matches the blood type of the elephant has collapsed after the last blood transfusion.

Ants and elephants have an appointment to go swimming. The elephant took off his clothes and began to swim happily. The ant rummaged for clothes on the shore, and then shouted to the elephant in the water, "elephant, elephant!" ! Come up here for a second! ! "The elephant went ashore and asked," How? " The ant said, "Nothing, nothing. Let me see if you are wearing my swimming trunks. "

15, an elephant hid behind a grass and saw an ant coming and said, "Look how you found me."