Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Mount Tai in Song Zhenzong has become the laughing stock of generations.

Mount Tai in Song Zhenzong has become the laughing stock of generations.

A generation of emperors climbed Mount Tai, which was regarded as a symbol of national prosperity and world peace. The emperor himself became the "real dragon emperor" of "Fengtian Shipping". In history, except for the seventy-two land kings written in historical records (most of whose names can't be verified), he was fortunate to be such a real dragon emperor. What really goes down in history is 12 * *. Let me introduce them to you.

Mount Tai is regarded as the statue of the five mountains because it is the most famous of them. Of course, the reason is inseparable from its majestic and lofty landscape image and solemn symbolic significance, but the most important reason is that Mount Tai has always been a mountain worshipped by emperors.

? Mount Tai is an oriental paradise that emperors yearned for for thousands of years, and the worship of Mount Tai has become the glory that every emperor yearned for in history because of its special political significance. But because of its harsh conditions, not every emperor has such an opportunity. Only the emperor "ordered by heaven" can accumulate soil on the top of Mount Tai for the altar and increase the height of Mount Tai to worship heaven, which shows that the work is natural. Then, before Mount Tai, we set up altars on the mountains of Fu Liang, Sheshou and Yun Yun to worship the earth. It means that the accumulation is thin and the land is rich.

? A generation of emperors climbed Mount Tai, which was regarded as a symbol of national prosperity and world peace. The emperor himself became the "real dragon emperor" of "Fengtian Shipping". In history, he was fortunate to be such a real dragon emperor. Except for the seventy-two land kings written in the historical records, most of the names have not been verified, and there are 12 * * that really go down in history.

The worship of Mount Tai and Zen Buddhism began in Qin Shihuang, and emperors such as Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty, Emperor Guangwu, Emperor Zhang, Emperor Han 'an, Emperor Wen of Sui Dynasty, Emperor Xuanzong of Tang Dynasty, Emperor Sheng Zu of Qing Dynasty and Emperor Qing all went to Mount Tai to offer sacrifices and carve stones to record their merits. Among them, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty ascended the seal seven times. The last emperor to worship Mount Tai in the history of China was Song Zhenzong. After the Yuan and Ming Dynasties, it was changed to sacrifice. Qingganlong visited Mount Tai eleven times and Daiding six times. Emperors of past dynasties consolidated their rule with the help of the divine power of Mount Tai, which was promoted to the sacred height of harmony with heaven because of the closing ceremony and sacrifice. A natural mountain, worshipped by the supreme rulers of civilized countries in the past, lasted for thousands of years and almost ran through the whole feudal society. This is a unique spiritual and cultural phenomenon in the world.

The last emperor of Mount Tai was Song Zhenzong. Why does he only worship and not worship? Probably because Song Zhenzong's meditation was a self-directed and self-acting drama, which mocked the sanctity of the divine right of monarchy and made the later emperors afraid to lie down again.

After the signing of the single source alliance, it seems that the world is at peace. But the anger in the Song Dynasty was so strong that even the emperor himself regretted it. After all, he has to pay Liao a large sum of money every year, which has to make him feel humiliated and depressed. In order to dilute this negative influence, he began to look for a kind of spiritual support and belief support, so he wanted to learn Hanwu from the Qin Dynasty and go to Mount Tai to worship Zen.

However, worshipping Zen is not a simple and casual thing. Not every emperor can climb Mount Tai, a sacred mountain. At that time, Emperor Taizong Li Shimin wanted to climb Mount Tai to worship Zen, but failed to do so. An emperor who signed a treaty of humiliating his country and his country wants to climb Mount Tai to meditate? Not afraid of jokes all over the world!

However, in order to restore the emperor's dignity and wash away his shame, Song Zhenzong used the conspiracy of Minister Wang Qinruo to forge a sealed book.

So a farce of conspiring, forging gobbledygook and climbing Mount Tai to worship Zen began.

After all, he cheated the whole world, and the emperor felt guilty. He really persuaded Wang Dan, the prime minister, to condescend to invite him to drink, and secretly sent him gold and silver treasures. It is also a rare miracle in history that the emperor bribed the minister. Wang Dan is also a wise man, knowing that this money is not easy to take, he must cooperate well.

In the first month of A.D. 1008, Song Zhenzong summoned Wang Dan, Wang Qinruo and others. He said one day last year, I had a dream in the middle of the night. In my dream, a man of God told me that I would do a month-long Dojo in the main hall on the third day of next month, and then I would send three gobbledygook, Dazhong Xiangfu. I did as God told me, and now there is yellow silk on the corner of Chengtianmen. I read it carefully. This is a gobbledygook. Therefore, reading gobbledygook in public is nothing more than singing hymns and blowing the true Sect to the sky. It is also said that the Great Song Dynasty will bring prosperity to the country.

The gobbledygook was hidden in the cellar, and everyone was excited. People in Beijing ate and drank for several days.

The news about gobbledygook spread all over the capital and the whole country. Zhenzong Zhao Huan waited quietly at home, waiting for the mourning of officials from all over the country.

The good news has finally arrived. One thousand two hundred and eighty-seven people from Yanzhou came to the capital and asked the emperor to sacrifice to heaven in Mount Tai. Zhao Huan was very happy, but he still wanted to refuse. His achievements are not enough to dare to climb Mount Tai. At such a time, he repeatedly asked and declined. Since we are acting, we must play tricks and leave no flaws. Once again, Prime Minister Wang Dan lost no time to appear, leading hundreds of civil and military officials, local officials, and even Buddhist and Taoist figures to kneel down and ask the emperor to comply with God's will and worship Mount Tai. At the same time, the gobbledygook fell again.

Zhao Huan was flattered to see that the time was ripe. He solemnly announced to the whole country that in order to show my admiration for heaven, I decided to meditate on Mount Tai.

Zhenzong then decided to go to Mount Tai to hold a meditation ceremony that year 10, and asked the Finance Minister (Finance Minister) if there was any problem with the funds for the Song Dynasty in Ding Wei. Ding Wei Song replied, "There are more plans." This strengthens the determination of the true Sect to indulge in Zen. At a court meeting in June, Zhenzong went on to explain the last story and said, "Last year, the man of God told me in a dream that there would be a' heavenly book' coming to Mount Tai." Sure enough, Wang Qinruo said in the last play that there was a fountain spewing out under Mount Tai, and a "gobbledygook" was dropped in the pavilion beside the fountain. So the ministers went to the table to congratulate and beg for the title of "Chongwen Guangwuyi Tianzunbaoying Zhang Ganrenxiao Emperor", and Zhenzong worshipped him. At this point, meditation's public opinion preparation can be described as quite satisfactory. Other preparations are also in full swing, such as letting craftsmen build a "jade wheel" to meet the "heavenly book".

On the fourth day of October, with Yu Tianshu as the forerunner, Zhao Heng as the center, and under the huge retinue of documents, the closing ceremony team headed for Mount Tai. The big brigade walked for seventeen days before coming to the foot of Mount Tai from Beijing. The ceremonial soldiers and foot soldiers traveled all over Shan Ye, one with two steps, and several steps with one flag. From the foot of the mountain to the top of the mountain, the momentum was really grand. 1On the morning of October 23rd, after three days of fasting, Zhao Heng was wearing a Tian Tong crown, a crimson gauze robe and a golden pheasant, and was ready to set off. Surrounded by officials, they boarded the worse gate and came to Daiding Temple. The next day, a grand and complicated ceremony was held to worship the God of Heaven and the Five Gods. After the ceremony, he went down the mountain. Then, with the same grand ceremony, worship the gods in Dushou Mountain. Finally, I boarded the pilgrimage altar, received greetings from officials, ambassadors and monks, and turned the page up and down "Long live" to shake the valley. Then amnesty was granted to the whole world, and all officials were promoted to rank, giving the whole world three days to hold public banquets to celebrate.

1 1 month, the True Patriarch Regiment turned to Qufu to pay homage to the Confucius Temple, added Confucius as "Xuanshengwen Wang Xuan", ordered his ministers to pay tribute to 72 disciples, and then visited the Confucius House and the Confucius Forest, giving them 3 million yuan. In order to receive Zen rites, the county was changed to "Fengfu County". Zhenzong also wrote "Dong Qing Li Fengcheng Poetry", which was sung by the ministers, and finally hosted by the ministers. After returning to Kaifeng, the capital, he issued a decree to designate the day when the "heavenly book" descended to Beijing as the "Tianqing Festival" and the day when the "heavenly book" descended to Mount Tai as the "heavenly day", and ordered the civil servants to compile his trip to Mount Tai into a book "The Book of Closing Zen for Large and Medium-sized Xiangfu". The closing ceremony lasted for 57 days. Since then, the whole world has won glory for Fu Rui, and ministers have also won glory for medals and praises, which fascinated the whole country.

In the days that followed, Fu Rui's auspicious symbols were constantly released like satellites. For example, Shaanxi reported that "the Yellow River is self-cleaning", and there was a miracle of "pond salt was not planted" in Xiezhou. People in the river actually found the fairy book Lingbao Wen Zhen in the Black Dragon Valley of Zhongtiaoshan ... The real sect believes in it. In June (10 10), the He Zhong government 1200 scholars, elders and monks begged the true people to come to Fenyin to worship the Houtu Temple, and then more than 30,000 civil and military officials and representatives from all walks of life petitioned Beijing to ask the true people to come to Fenyin to worship the Houtu Temple. At this time, the true Sect seems to have been addicted to the practice of raising his reputation by ostentation and extravagance, and decided to offer a personal sacrifice to the goddess of Yin next spring.

On the 23rd day of the first month (10 1 1), Zhao Heng led the troops to start again, and the team that worshiped Houtu in the west was still led by the "heavenly book", passed through Luoyang, left Tongguan, went north along the Yellow River and headed for Fenyin (now southwest of Wanrong County, Shanxi Province). After the grand ceremony of sealing Mount Tai, it took 2 1 day to reach the Fengzuo Palace in Baoding, Shanxi. After the completion, Zhenzong crossed the Yellow River again, turned west and came to Huashan to worship the etiquette of Xiyue Temple. On the way home, I stayed in Luoyang for more than 20 days, and then went to Gongxian (now Henan) to pay homage to three tombs of my ancestors (Yong 'an Mausoleum, Yongzheng Mausoleum and Taizong Yongzheng Mausoleum). I didn't return to Beijing until early April, and I quarreled for nearly 70 days. This westward journey is more expensive than "East Seal". Prepared for more than a year, tens of thousands of people, hundreds of thousands of dollars, silk. Some honest courtiers wrote letters of exhortation, but Zhenzong didn't listen at all. After coming back, I was still very busy. I increased my official and salary, and sent envoys to the Five Mountains to confer titles.

/kloc-one day in October (1012), shinzo couldn't help reading the last story. He also said that the fairy held a dream and conveyed the will of the Emperor of Heaven: "Ask Taizu Zhao to give you a heavenly book." Soon, the ancestors really told Zhenzong in their dreams: "Caring for the people." After realizing this false ancestor, Zhenzong immediately introduced a series of measures: First, he ordered the world to be taboo for saints; The second is to honor the Father and be worthy of being a virgin; The third is to build Jingling Palace in Beijing, which is dedicated to the statues of the Father, Taizu and Taizong, and the scale is second only to the ancestral temple; Fourth, the largest Taoist temple in Beijing is dedicated to the statues of the Jade Emperor and the Holy Father; The fifth is to order Tianqing Temple in all counties in the world to build the Hall of the Father, and officials should pay their respects when they take office or leave office; Sixth, Zongzheng Temple was ordered to revise the royal genealogy and increase the deeds of saints. Therefore, Zhenzong took the lead in writing The Sage Comes, as well as Wang Qinruo's Sage Deeds and Shengdu's Saint Tianyuan Record. Also came out one after another.

An emperor deceived people all over the world in order to hide his incompetence, which is probably the reason why the Song Dynasty was rich but not strong.