Experience English jokes

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner of the school, I see a sign that says "School-Go".

Slow. "

Tom's excuse

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I pass the corner, I see a sign that says, "School-Go slow."

Did your father? ...

Tom called Jim by his first name: "I can't stand such stupidity!" "

Jim said, "Your mother can stand it!"

Tom scolded Jim, "I can't stand you idiot!" "

Jim said, "Your mother can!"

P.S. bears have two meanings: the jokes of "living" and "enduring" are based on this.

3) A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What about a million years?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

Mother asked Tommy to go to the shop across the street to buy a good box of matches. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy a good box of matches?"

"Yes, Mom." Tommy replied, "I've tried everything."

A box of small matches

Mother asked Tommy to buy a good box of matches in the shop across the street. When Tommy came back, his mother asked him, "Did you buy a good match?"

"Yes, Mom." Tommy replied, "I've tried everything."

Father: Uh, oh, I think I just turned right illegally.

Susie: Never mind, Dad, the policeman behind you just did the same thing!

driver

Father: Oh, dear, I just turned right illegally.

Susie: That's all right, Dad. The policeman behind you turned like this.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

I gave it to a poor old woman. He replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "This is another two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She sells sweets."

7) Ivan came home with a bloody nose, and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A child bit me," Ivan replied.

"If you sew him again, can you recognize him?" His mother asked.

"I know where he is," Ivan said. "His ears are in my pocket."

His ear is in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a nosebleed. His mother asked, "What's the matter?"

"A boy bit me." Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.