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Ultimate family funny lines
Grandpa Chapter
1 What a beautiful broom star
2. "Moxibustion... I haven't been here for a long time. Why is it so expensive?" × Talk Very hard haha×! !
3. Pretty little asshole...
4. Let’s go and get a room too
5. Grandpa: Oh, ~Xiong Brother, are you menopausal?
Brother Xiong: Oh, Dad~, I still have an aunt,
Grandpa: Aunt? Where is your aunt?
Socks Northern Song Dynasty (I am not happy,)
Socks Gala*** (I’m telling you)
eliminate BO [BO reads the 4th sound] (Crazy woman)
Grandpa: Am I so powerful...Have I ever been so handsome!
When I was practicing in the summer, Brother Hou Xiong said he should stop practicing. Grandpa: Shameless ? Who is shameless? !
Grandpa: Huh~~~~
Aunt: I mean...
Grandpa: I can hear it~~
Aunt : Huh~~~
Xia Yu: Ah, sir, you still think it’s not noisy enough upstairs, okay? Stop knocking, okay?
Ah Gong: If you want to make a quarrel, let’s make a quarrel together. Who is afraid of whom~
Xia Tian: Grandpa, if you don’t agree quickly, the photography brother and the director will be moved and kneel down later. Oh
Grandpa: How can you feed the photographer? We are acting now. What are you doing here? Don’t think that asking him to do this will make me soft-hearted
I From now on, I will change my name to Shameless Xia Liu
Bring me my Kemoba
Xia Tian: Grandpa, what you are holding is Natsumi’s pot lid
Grandpa :Now even this kind of thing is shameless.
Grandpa: Did you just say that beautiful women are like clouds~~~
Moxibustion Lai: ==_=! They are masters like clouds . . .
I have amnesia and have forgotten...
When grandpa asked Han to marry Xia Tian, ??he suddenly said, "There are only sausages, not two tribute balls~~" < /p>
Grandpa helped Xia Tian and asked Han, "Will you marry Xia Lanxing Deliu?
Grandpa watched Ye Dead Man singing "I get angry when I see you~~~" < /p>
My mother, you have caused trouble for thousands of years
Our Sharander family~~
I am the youngest one.
xiong After my brother tore off the summer sealing sticker for the first time, my grandpa came out of the cupboard and said:
"Yes, I saw your two headlight covers (that's what he said) Ding-ding-dong-dong is hanging everywhere. Do you need so many?
Brother Xiong: "Because I need to match the clothes~~~
I don’t even want to grab the Soul Washing Song or the Soul Searching Song. Let’s go back
Then the previous one was fake, wasn’t it
It’s been over twenty episodes already
If we continue like this
The audience will Think we are deceiving him
They will be angry-/\-
It’s better to know that you are young....
The audience likes me
I hate that you keep coming to steal the spotlight
Scissor (moxibustion lai): He is the military faceless man of the Yehenala family
Grandpa: the faceless man !
Scissors: But the strange thing is that he only brought two followers
Grandpa: Two followers!
Scissors: And the faceless man is not a scholar. Military Commander
Grandpa (dancing): He is not a military commander, but a literary talent!
Brother Xiong: Dad, you are a parrot
Brother Xiong: It’s strange that the Yehenala family is like this! It would be too disrespectful for us to send a shameless military advisor
Grandpa (continued): It would be too disrespectful for us!
(Everyone looked at Grandpa speechlessly...)
p>Grandpa: 119 Hey ambulance!
Brother Xiong: Are you feeling unwell? Are you about to faint?
Grandpa: There are still many lines to say without me.
Grandpa: Hello 119, come quickly.
Grandpa: Where are you? Of course it’s at my house.
...... The phone hung up..
Brother Xiong seemed to have said something..
Grandpa picked up the phone again: Hello 119, there is someone now. There are 2 of us. Where are we? Of course at my house..! (The phone hung up again)
I also found a little goblin to run away from home
Minnan dialect: "Speak~Speak~If you don’t speak, you have no chance!"
Time, luck, fate, it is a blessing or not a disaster, it is a disaster that cannot be avoided, karma and retribution are never long-winded, there is no way, what time, alas~~~~~~~ Grandpa: ...It was caused by ghosts What kind of ball... (^.^ Haha - -.)
Natsumi also asked, Grandpa, what kind of thing is that ghost ball...
< p>Use your brain to think. If you don’t have a brain, use the cerebellum. If you don’t have a cerebellum, use the medulla oblongata. Don’t ask for trouble.Grandpa: “Don’t act like a baby there. I don’t know what you think in your head.” Do you know?
I can’t stand it anymore when Xia Mei suddenly arrives at the King of Linling. Even you can fall in love with this ant now.
How about this? Grandpa also comes to the devil world to find a marriage partner. A man with three heads and six arms and a green face and fangs is here to be a pawn for you?"
Ren Chenwen: "Grandpa, please don't do this"
Grandpa: "Flash"
. . . . . . . .
Ren Chenwen: "Grandpa, I said she wants to get to know you
Ah, you are pregnant again and I want to be a grandpa again. The father of this child is the child's grandfather``
p>
I'm scolding you... why do you sit so comfortably?
Leader, what's the big deal? It's causing you to come here in such a big way, and it's also causing us to miss our welcome
Brother Xiong wants to give his power to Xia Tian so that he can subdue the ghost dragon
Grandpa said that if you give him the power, you will die and you may earn a big ghost dragon. Can
Give it to him and then Brother Xiong will cry there
Grandpa suddenly lost his memory and said, "Why are you crying? What are you doing? I'm not dead yet"
Ole was so angry .,I have to go to the emergency room.,Only there is spring.,I heard that only two Japanese nurses came.,
a chord: I’m so mean, you’ll chop me down as soon as you see me, and the sword Swords can kill you. Who can bear such a big sword? I'm not telling you. If it weren't for my A Chord being cheap enough to use one sword and two swords, I think I would have said goodbye to you long ago.
< p>Grandpa: This is called gradually coagulation and dispersion. If you sprinkle it on the sword wound of a very mean person, his blood will gradually stop, otherwise he will gradually die.~~~~Then Dr. Yi Neng came and said, I forgot - -
Grandpa: Not only did he look mean when he was alive, but he will look even meaner after death. Throw him away. Go to the floor to avoid staining the sofa.
A-Chord: Grandpa, help me prepare mung bean powder and boy’s urine. This will help me heal faster, but you must be a real virgin! < /p>
Grandpa: A-Chord is so mean! A bitch has his own tricks, what he said should be true
Mei: Grandpa! Where did the virgin come from? Ah?
That’s right!
I’m sorry!
That’s right. Refers to Brother Xiong)
Xiong: Dad!
Grandpa: You’re kidding~
Grandpa: What are you afraid of? I’m here, Xia Liu, and you’re not afraid of anything! .
Look, there are a lot of bubbles (holding the bottle of urine) ~ If it’s sweet, it means I have diabetes
A-Chord: They don’t know, grandpa, I’m afraid, you really go to pick up the urine oh!
Mei: Grandpa! Why do you pee less than my little brother? What a small bottle!
Grandpa: The old man’s bladder is weak, and the urine splits and drips into his shoes, so half of it is not received.
95: Grandpa, where do you want to go on vacation?
Grandpa: I want to find your aunt~~~~~~~~~~
Three eight three eight, you three eight, me three eight
Yu: It's past one o'clock, I have to change clothes first, I have to go to school
Xiong: Oh
Mei: Wow (watching grandpa open his "room") < /p>
Xiong: Dad, which floor do you want to go down to?
Grandpa: It’s the third floor of the basement!
Tian: No, I'm still worried. Mom, please take Han to the Ancient Tomb Hospital. I'll see who is responsible.
Xiong: Ask me to take Han. Just bring the cold, I'm your mother, I'm not your courier!
Grandpa: Brother Xiong, is it useful to have so many children? No one is yours
Grandpa: Hey, this child in Xia Tian is really passionate. He must have inherited the seeds of passion from me.
Dead Man: Huh?
Grandpa: What are you looking at? If you have big eyes, are they bigger than me?
Dead man: No, no, my eyes are so small~Sorry
Ah, the old man said: Dead man, what are you drinking? Why didn’t I?
Dead man He said: I will buy Boba milk tea for you`
Ah Gong said: The Boba at the entrance of the alley is the bigger one...
He said: "We're Xia Lande OK, family..
Grandpa: I said this. If you understand, just say yes. If you don’t understand, just say you understand. If you don’t understand, just say you don’t understand. Don’t pretend to understand if you don’t understand.
Grandpa: Rush. Ah, I rush~~~kill, you die...I die, I die...Ah, I die...I am an old man with temperament...< /p>
Grandpa: Yes, you are just too nervous. In fact, looking at Xia Tian’s face, it is not short-lived at all. It’s auspicious people who have their own destiny. (The dead are coming, Grandpa points to the dead) If it’s like this It’s best not to look at this kind of facial features. The more you look at them, the worse they will get.. Really, I’m going out again (matching the voice, walking up to the dead person, saying) Alas (then leaving)..
Grandpa: (When looking for Oh Yi Oh Yi Oh)
I also remembered, come on, (trotted to the side of the camera operator) Why is it you again? Why are you coming to our house again? , (Photographer confused: The director asked me to come here) Does anyone have such a big mobile phone pendant? (Grandpa said to Brother Xiong, Xiaomei, Xia Yu)
Grandpa: Brother Xiong, Zhen. Why is my son missing?
A policeman: I know, you will definitely not let me go, right? I know so many of your secrets, you will kill me to silence me. Brother: No, how is it possible? We... Dad, please help me, please hurry up!
Grandpa: What can I do to help you?
Xia Yu: Rewind and delete. Technique!
Grandpa: Oh... (pointing to Brother Xiong) Iris...
Brother Xiong: Not me, Dad!
A certain policeman: No... Don't mess around.
Grandpa: Irisui...I forgot about it later.
Brother Xiong: Iris Ruiwai!
ERASEREWIND→Rewind and delete memory
Grandpa: Which guest? Sit inside!
Brother Xiong: Natsumi, come here! (Grandpa: YEAH!)
Natsumi: Who are you? !
Xia Yu: Grandpa!
Brother Xiong: Abba, why did you push Xia Yu over? !
Grandpa: When did he go there?
Grandpa explained: "If you are possessed, your ring will light up" means "If you are not possessed, your ring will not light up"~~~~Do you understand now?~ ~~''
First make a pot of tea for the elderly. During the ten minutes of making the tea, I will do an exercise for the elderly. First, I will jump in the Swan Lake." Then Xiu Hehan came back,
Grandpa said: "I am doing some exercise but there are people interrupting me. You two, let's fall in love."
Han said: Where is Xia Tian?
Grandpa said: "Plus Xia Tian." , love triangle",
Meimei: I'm back, Han, Xiu, why are you two together?"
Grandpa said: "And you, love triangle, plus a Prince Lanling, Wujia Lian, you want to negotiate outside, and if you want to kill me, don't let me see it."
Han: "You're back, haven't you waited for Xia Tian?"
Meimei: "My little brother, I left early. You two wait here while I go up."
Xiu: Han, you wait here while I go out to look for you.
Then Xiu left. He sent Xiu out with cold eyes, turned his face, and faced Grandpa.
Grandpa: There are only two of us left in the house, and we have an unethical love.
Grandpa: What?!. You called me obscene?!.
Grandpa: You are the one who is obscene!!.
Grandpa: No. I am the one It's Xia Liu...
Chacha looked at Grandpa in shock...
What is the scariest thing in the world... Grandpa: My wife~ ~~
Grandpa: "Long time no see, that dead man... Sigh~ It's so boring without him scolding me~~ I really miss him"
Xiong: "Dad , Just say something if you want to drink~"
Grandpa: "I think, this time, the old devil of the Yehenala family really came up with a solution."
Xiong: "What?"
Grandpa: "There really is a magnet from the underworld in Mie... (Omit the words that are cold in the middle) Don't underestimate it. When Nuwa mended the sky, it was This stone has infinite mysterious power. It is the source of energy in the entire universe and can be supplied endlessly, just like solar energy."
Xiong: "Dad, what are you doing? I have become so knowledgeable. I don’t understand whether it’s physics or chemistry.”
Grandpa: “If you don’t understand, you should learn more...learn...be more diligent...There is a saying, listen to Xia Liu’s words , Bao Junsheng has been studying for ten years."
.....After a lot of questions from King Lanling...
Grandpa: "I am What am I going to tell you? Who knows if you are a spy? You are a waiter now, pouring wine."
Scar Jason asked, "Do you know who I am?" Grandpa said, "You rely on me to do this." "Have you wanted to have sex with me recently?" Scar Jason said "I can hear you more clearly" and then Grandpa pushed him away and said, "He came to my house and wanted to molest me."
Grandpa: Get out of the way for Xiami. (Also using extended tones). . . Why didn't the leader of the alliance inform me earlier so that I could have time to get my hair cut, shave, take a shower, and change into a tuxedo?
Xia Tian said: Can you not be so close when talking?
Grandpa said: Scar Jason taught me so that I can hear more clearly.
One minute later
Grandpa: I am almost cross-eyed
Xia Tian: I am already cross-eyed
Laughing to death I
Amitabha, Allah, Amen
God, Jesus Christ, Mary
God of Heaven and Earth, God of Heaven and Earth, pay homage to the Duke and the Crown Prince
Please pray to all the gods
Everyone came to protect King Lanling
Grandpa was pressed by the dead man and said: "Dead man! Confucius said: Men can't understand how to give and receive!"
Grandpa : "I can't believe that I, Charan Yongde Liu, have never done anything bad in my life, why would retribution happen to my daughter and grandson now... (Seeing the dead person) I know, it's all for you. What I just said I hugged you so tightly! In order to protect you, I even got on top of you, (acting like a baby), it’s so disgusting, I don’t want it, it’s disgusting..."
Episode 47
< p>Gui Feng appearsGrandpa, the leader of the alliance said: "It will be fine if you come here, little one," then turned to Gui Feng and said, "As long as I can't cure you, I will take your surname!" and sealed Gui Feng's dragon. After posting the post, he said to the leader: "He is my grandson. We seem to have the same surname..."
When the leader came, my grandpa said: Long live the leader, long live the leader, and he knelt down. Kowtow, Xia Tian was still confused about what to do with him.
The leader of the alliance asked at Xia's house, "Is King Lanling here?"
The dead man said, "There is no one in our family who wears a helmet on his shoulders..."
After that, Xiong glared at him and said, "That's not a helmet! It's a door knocker!"
You don't even know ABC dog bites pig, and you still keep an eye on his homework. You lied to me. Assi! (Taiwanese)
Grandpa danced with the martyr: "Grinding the beans around, grinding the beans around, grinding the beans away..."
Grandpa finished the fight. He called Xia Tian and said, "Why are you behaving like a kid over there? How can someone as cool as me show love?"
After listening to grandpa's words, Xia Tian said : "Grandpa, I also know you have no choice but to do so."
Grandpa stared at him and said, "Are you saying I have no love?"
Grandpa sent Xiu and the others to rescue him. Bing Xin, picked up the phone: I'm hungry, I'm hungry. Dad is starving to death. Then he was stunned for a moment, and then said: Oh, this is the phone number for pizza delivery, it's wrong~
Xia Mei: It's all you, mother. Darling, why did you let my little Lanlan go into destruction? If anything happens to my little Lanlan, I will never forgive you! Hum, run away
Grandpa: If that Lanlan What happened to Prince Ling? Natsumi will never forgive you
Brother Xiong: Yes, you really won’t forgive me. Then he was stunned for a moment and said to grandpa: Dad, it seems How could you blame me for your suggestion?
Grandpa: It was you who lobbied King Lanling to enter the destruction, so I’m fine~
Grandpa: “I asked you to discuss the results yesterday. The result... there is still no result... I want to find the alliance leader... I... I want to live..."
I just mentioned the Lanling Slash of King Lanling When... said... that weapon is called... called amnesia
Moxibustion Dance Chapter:
Xia Xia Yu is discussing the name of the alliance leader:
< p>Xia Tian: Since he is Moxi Lai’s brother...Xia Yu: It’s all the same, a weirdo in the family
Xia Tian: Moxi Lai’s brother, Gu Lai’s brother Cousin...should he be called Palai?
Xia Yu: Come here
(The two of them punched each other...)
Leader: Xiao It's just a name. Call me whatever you like. When these two came together, someone called them "Pa Lai". Someone else asked everyone to come together
2
Leader: The full name of my superpower is Moxibustion and Dandelion Dance. In front of Muggles. You can just call me Moxibustion Dance.
Xia Yu: Why are you so embarrassed to call me that? How rude.
Xia Tian: Yes. If you call it this way, will people think that 92 and 98 didn’t come together?
3
(Dongcheng Wei is discussing the leader of the alliance who has never been masked)
Leader: Okay. You all have seen my true face. rest assured. I will not kill people and silence them as you said. Although I ride a motorcycle, I am not a motorcycle person.
However...all the Dongcheng Guards will kill themselves today...
(Everyone looked surprised)
Leader: Just kidding...
4
Xia Liu: Alliance Leader, I don’t know if you are full yet...
Alliance Leader: It seems you are not full yet, Senior Xia Liu. You also know that young people are growing and their appetite will be larger. Brother Xiong, can I have another bowl of that...duck feet, crab feet, pig trotters, kimchi, sand tea, miso noodles...sounds very much like iron legs
(5) (in Superpower (In the transfer center)
Xia Tian: The leader’s shift time is up, can you still hold on?
(Speaking very seriously)
The leader: It’s only half a catty, I only have half a life left. Like you, why don't you go to get off work? I want to wash my hair.
(Starts to say with a smile)
My family recently opened a great beauty salon, and the girls there are all super pretty.
Xia Tian: (said in shock) Why do you still want to have a girl?
This is the little nurse blowing the whistle for summer injections.
The leader laughed and said: I’m kidding you, I only have half my life left and I said it in Taiwanese. That's not to die.
This is called joy in suffering. Do you understand?~Xia Tian was given an injection by the nurse and shouted, "I don't understand." You~~~~tell me later when you have time.
Coalliance Leader: I knew you didn’t understand
(6) Coalliance Leader: Back then...when you abolished superpowers...your father’s position was...
Dead man:...Why did you suddenly ask this question?
League leader: No... As the saying goes: A true gentleman who watches chess without saying a word will never return a move.
p>Dead man: Wow.. What a deep sentence.. It’s just the leader.. I’m a little qualified. I don’t know what the leader means..
Leader: No.. I’m just I just thought of this idiom...
(7) The scene at the door of Xia's house
The leader pointed at the old leader with the black wind
The old leader Door: Black Wind? Moxibustion dance, you move very fast.
Why do you have black wind?
Leader: It seems that your fear of Wufeng is still the same as before.
Old leader: Why is Wufeng, who has disappeared for a long time, in your hands?
Leader: You guessed it, you guessed it right~~I’ll give it to you.
Old Devil: Moxibustion Dance, I believe you know it’s not you I’m afraid of~~
(Old Devil flashes away)
Alliance Leader: I have a gun Not loaded yet
Just left like this
Episode 30
(The leader appears to meet Dong Chengwei)
Okay
You have all seen my true face
Don’t worry
I will not do what you said
Kill and silence
Although I ride a motorcycle
But I don’t ride a motorcycle
But...
Today all Dongcheng Wei will self-mutilate his eyes
Just kidding
(9) (44 episodes)
Xiu: Leader, this is the safest method we have found so far
Let you Entering the titanium coffin of the dead leader, you can also eliminate your demonic nature, but it may take some time
Please forgive my subordinate for overstepping my authority
Leader (laughing) ): Stop talking about this, I should be the one to say sorry
It should feel good to sleep in a coffin, you will get rich by seeing the coffin~
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