Play a sketch in classical Chinese

65438+ tasted a nuclear ship and covered the red cliff cloud of Dasu.

The length of the ship is about eight minutes and the height can be two meters. The porch in the middle is a hut, and the canopy covers it. There are small windows on the side, four on the left, four on the right and eight on the * *. When you open the window, the carved columns are opposite. If it is closed, it is engraved on the right with "the mountain is high and the moon is small, and the water comes out" and on the left with "the breeze is Xu Lai, and the water waves are stagnant", which is the same as the stone. (You Zuo: You Peng)

There are three people sitting in the bow. Dongpo is the one with the highest crown and the most beards. Fo Yin is on the right and Lu Zhi is on the left. Sue and Huang have read books. Dongpo's right hand is holding a curly tail, and his left hand caresses Lu Zhi's back. Lu Zhi held the end of the book in his left hand and the book in his right hand, saying something. Dongpo's right foot and Lu Zhi's left foot are slightly different. Compared with the knees, they are all hidden in the folds of the bottom clothes. Is a unique Maitreya Buddha, topless, holding her head high, her expression does not belong to Su and Huang. Lie flat on your right knee, hold the boat on your right arm, stand on your left knee, and lean on it with your left arm missing the beads-the beads can be counted vividly.

The stern is horizontal. There is a boat on each side. The man who lives on the right has a spine bun on his back, his left hand leans against a balance beam, and his right hand climbs his right toe, which makes him scream. The person who lives on the left holds a banana fan in his right hand and touches the stove in his left hand. There is a pot on the stove, and their eyes are silent. If they listen to the sound of tea.

When the back of the ship was slightly reduced, it was engraved with an inscription, saying, "It's the beginning of autumn, and the book of King Yushan is carved far away." As thin as a mosquito's foot, it is painted with a hook and the color is ink. He also used a seal chapter, which read "Chupingshan people" and its color Dan.

Row a boat for five; Window 8; Make a tent, a pot, a stove, a pot, a hand roll and a rosary; The characters used in couplets, titles and seals are * * * 30 and 4; It's not long enough. Cover the peach pit and trim it. Hey, the skills are also strange!

2. There is a sketch about ancient poetry, which is suitable for students to play. There is no 3-minute funny sketch time: contemporary.

[Character] Li Hong, a first-grade primary school teacher. Direction-primary school freshmen.

Song Shuo-the first grade of primary school. Venue: Xiangyang Primary School Freshmen Registration Office.

Zhang Ping: "Xiaoxue, congratulations. Your mother Lili got married yesterday. What do you think of your new father? " Li Xiaoxue: "It looks good!" Zhang Ping: "He's fine. He was my father the year before last! " "Li Hong is asking the children's names, ages, parents and occupations one by one. Fang: "Miss Li, my direction is very clever and ingenious ... Li Hong asked doubtfully," Little friend, can you tell me what kind of people are hypocritical? " "Thinking about the direction:" Oh, teacher, a student who came to school with a smile in the morning. "

Li Hong is unhappy: "So the school is disgusting? Then why did you sign up for school? " The direction looked at Li Hong intently: "No, it is hypocrisy for teachers to be angry with students." Li Hong gave a sloped smile.

Li Hong: "Little friend, do you have any brothers or sisters?" Direction: "No" Li Hong: "So, what do you think of this?" Direction: "I think if I have a younger brother and sister, my pocket money will be reduced by half."

Li Hong took out a bill: "Kid, what would you do if you found such a bill?" The direction blurted out: "Give the money to the police, Mao Mao to the teacher, and keep the money for yourself." Li Hong: "Who will do it like direction?" The children who signed up said in unison: "No!" Direction confidently: "Who said no, my father was like this when he was a child."

Li Hong: "Direction, what does your father do?" Direction blinked: "My father is in a meeting." Li Hong was puzzled: "What meeting will be held?" Direction: "I always hear my father say to my mother,' Meeting today, Meeting tomorrow, Meeting the day after tomorrow …'" Li Hong: "Direction, how old is your father this year? "direction:" as big as me, teacher. "

Li Hong: "How can I be as old as you?" Direction: "Of course! He became my father and I became his son on the same day! " Li Hong: "Direction, what's your father's last name?" Direction: "My father's surname is Zen." Li Hong: "Ha, where is this surname?" Direction: "Yes, my mother shouted as soon as she saw my father enter the door-'The greedy cat is back'!" Li Hong said gently, "Direction, what's your father's name?" Direction: "Dad."

Li Hong: "Yes, I know. But what does your mother call him? " The direction blurted out: "You damn fool!" Li Hong: "Direction, when were you born?" Direction: "So many people in front were born in Oasis Park. Do you think I was born in Oasis Park? " Tell you, I was born at home. "

Li Hong: "Tell me, kid, what surprised you most when you were growing up?" Direction: "I'm afraid I gave birth." Li Hong: "Why?" Direction: "Listen to my mother, I can't even say a word for a whole year and a half."

Li Hong: "Son, how many people are there in your family now?" Direction: "Three people." Li Hong: "Oh, no, and your grandmother, forget it?" Touch your forehead and blink: "I know, but I'm not at home now!" " "Li Hong said helplessly," Hey, you child, let me ask you, what shape is the earth? " Direction: "Round. "

Li Hong: "OK, how big is the earth?" The direction is decisive: "Volleyball is so big." All the other children laughed.

Direction angrily: "What are you laughing at! If you don't believe me, go to my house. My dad just bought it yesterday and put it on my bookcase. " Li Hong: "What are you wearing on your feet?" Direction: "It's leather shoes.

Li Hong: "Where did the skin come from?" Direction: "It comes from cattle." Li Hong: "So, what animals provide you with shoes and meat?" Direction: "It's my dad."

Li Hong: "The pig is a very useful animal. Its meat can be eaten, its skin can be made into leather, and its hair can be made into brushes. Now can you see that it has other uses? " The direction can't wait: "teacher, I know its name can also be used to swear." For example, you stupid pig only knows how to eat, sleep and eat. "

Li Hong: "Can you count?" The direction is loud: "Yes!" Li Hong smiled sweetly: "Count for the teacher." Clear pronunciation, clear pronunciation: "1, 2, 3, 4... 10."

Li Hong looks disappointed. Fang Fei Da urged: "Direction, count, count quickly, and count down again!" "fluently pointing ... j, q, k, a. "

Li Hong: "I have two chickens and you have one. Who has more? " The direction is naive: "there are many in front of you, and there are many in the future." Li Hong: "Why?" Direction: "yours is a rooster, but you can't give birth to chickens." Mine is a hen, which can lay eggs and hatch chickens, so I have more than you. "

Li Hong touched Direction's face and said kindly, "Direction classmate, do you usually throw eggshells and waste paper on the ground after eating cold drinks or eggs?" Or throw it in the trash can? " .

3. Script of Ancient Poems and Essays (played) Yongqi: Xu … Xu … Xu … Well, this time just happened to coincide with the second anniversary celebration, and my score was quite high … Today, I drew a lot to play a good word, which all my friends know.

Hai Huan Zhu Gege ... No, Princess Zhu Huan, Princess Zhu Huan, five brothers.

Yongqi, just me, huh. The oil is short, it's not good-looking, and everyone will watch it after it ... I play Yongqi, and then I ask the director, who will play the swallow? After that, the director said that you can rest assured that the expectation rate is very high, so I am also looking forward to it.

So good ... Please welcome my little swallow, Jingjing! (Playing the song "There is a Girl") Stop, Haiyan! Swallow (Haiyan): No, I'm dressed like this. How can you recognize me? Yongqi: You can eat snacks, Swallow: Stop hitting me! It's an old sin to play a sketch with you. You hit me every day. It's my turn to hit you this time. Yongqi: Watch your game day by day.

You said you were so old, so what did you come out to pull? Swallow: What are you talking about? I'll tell you, as Wang Dana said, who plays this sketch well. Give me a bonus of ten thousand yuan. Do you think I would like to play with you? I'm here to get a 10 thousand bonus. Yongqi: You can't get the ten thousand dollars. You can get the ten thousand yuan here with me. This is no joke.

Look at your game. Look at it. Swallow: I can't believe he looks like this. He looks like Wu Dalang. You said he was dark and talkative. He is like a bean bag. He fell to the ground and couldn't find it.

Yongqi: If you don't want to play with me, then go down and pick me a swallow: Mom, your mouth is quite high. I'm telling you, you have to make do today, that's all. Yongqi: You have to die, don't you? Swallow: That's true. Yongqi: Fight me.

Swallow: Yes, Yongqi: Let's have a competition, shall we? Swallow: Just the two of us. The audience's eyes are discerning. Let's see which of us plays better! Who should I give this $10,000 to ... Yongqi: OK, hehehe, hehehe, hehehe, OK, then we will follow the book. Swallow: Oh, yes, there are words here! Yongqi: Yes, Swallow: Give me a word, my word. Yongqi: Then let's follow the words, shall we? Swallow: Hey, ok, follow the script! Yongqi: Ah, you really wrote the word Qiong Yao.

Haiyan! Swallow: No, no, where did you say? Yongqi: No, no. Swallow: Ah, it's the little swallow. Ah, where are you going? Yongqi: Oh, yes, we played swallows in Hong Kong and Taiwan. Yes, Hong Kong and Taiwan dramas.

Yongqi: OK. Swallow it! Where are you going! Swallow: I'm going to see Queen ChristianRandPhillips. I've been bullied by Sister Rong these days! She doesn't want to live in a palace, she wants to go back to her hometown! 1 Yongqi: Swallow! I said you'd better stay out of this! Let's live an ordinary life, don't you think! Swallow: Yongqi! How can you talk like that! ChristianRandPhillips and we are good friends.

I have to go! Yongqi: Swallow! Don't forget, she is the woman of Emperor Ama! We're not going! If you want to leave, let's break up! Swallow: What, Yongqi! You are heartless, you are cold, you are unreasonable! Yongqi: Swallow! You are heartless, you are heartless, you are unreasonable! Swallow: Where am I heartless and unreasonable? Yongqi: Where is heartless? Where are you heartless? Where are you being unreasonable? ! Swallow: Well, even if I am heartless, I am heartless and unreasonable. Not as heartless as you, you are heartless, you are unreasonable! Yongqi: How can I be heartless? I am unreasonable. I'm unreasonable! It's all because you are heartless, you are heartless, and you are unreasonable! Swallow: Come here! No, I want to ask, who wrote this play? ! Why are you so breathless? It really embarrassed me. Yongqi: No, isn't that how all TV dramas in Hong Kong and Taiwan are filmed? Swallow: God, I'm fed up with my humiliation. I won the Northeast Edition by the hour. Yongqi: Just these two sentences, Swallow: I'm not talking about the whole Northeast edition.

Yongqi: That's straight work. Swallow: Gan Yongqi: OK, let's play this part. Swallow: Which paragraph? Yongqi: Let Mammy bully the swallow. This swallow: No, why are you so hurt? Why not bully you? Yongqi: Look at you losing your color ... Who made you want to play the swallow?

(Skip, go to 12:35, (played by Liu Neng) The emperor and a eunuch appear) Eunuch: The emperor is coming! Swallow: Grandma, Yongqi bullied me! Hum, turned and ran away. Emperor: Well, I'm leaving.

What the hell? Just the three of us. What do you say, this landlord fight? Yongqi: Fight! When, when, when, when, when, when, when. Play cards! Eunuch: How to play cards? Why don't we buy two cards and play for a while Emperor: Look, are there any actors? What's next? Eunuch: The heavyweight actor hasn't played yet. Emperor: Who is it? Eunuch: Emperor ChristianRandPhillips: My ChristianRandPhillips? Eunuch: That's true. Emperor: Why don't you wake her up quickly? Eunuch: OK, OK! Emperor: Hurry up! Eunuch: The amorous princess appeared.

(Song ... to the ends of the earth, you are the wind and I am the sand song) Emperor: Stop, Mom, who is this? ChristianRandPhillips: I'm your ChristianRandPhillips? Emperor: ChristianRandPhillips, I think you look like a melon! Where did this come from? ChristianRandPhillips: Who looks like a cantaloupe? Do I look like a melon? Yongqi: You are not like a cantaloupe, but like a melon. Ha ha.

ChristianRandPhillips: What are you talking about? I am your elder, your aunt, and I am your sister-in-law. Are you kidding? Come here! Eunuch: No, no, no ~ Aunt Wang ... What kind of joke is Xiao Song (played by Song Xiaobao)? ChristianRandPhillips: Are you kidding? Who are you kidding? How can I be like a melon? Besides, I am like a melon. What am I? Yongqi: No noodles, no noodles, no noodles at all. Like a cucumber, it breaks in one bite. Big mouth, straight to the point, (awkward first), okay? ChristianRandPhillips: That's more like it. Emperor: Go on. Eunuch: Go on. Emperor: Where are you? Eunuch: It's your turn, Emperor; It's my turn, eunuch: Come on, get ready, go! Emperor: ChristianRandPhillips, will you marry me? ! ChristianRandPhillips: I'm not getting married! Emperor: Marry me.

4. China's classical performance script "Chen Taiqiu and You Qi" started shooting.

Venue: Outside the gate of Fiona Fang's house.

People: tourists, Fiona Fang.

Qi Mu

There is a horizontal plaque hanging on the brown door, on which are written two big red letters-"Chen Fu". A carriage came not far away and came to Chen Fu's door. With the driver's "Xu", the carriage stopped. Then the curtain of the car was pulled open, and a head leaned out from it, looking around]

The man outside the door is a seven-year-old boy-Fiona Fang, wearing a blue one.

A head, this head looks around]

[Fiona Fang, a seven-year-old boy, wearing a blue robe and a red and white coat, is playing outside the door]

Customer: (Knowing that a teenager is Fiona Fang) Is your father at home?

Fiona Fang: (Looking up, I thought: Isn't he the uncle who stood me up with my father? Hum! Now it's here. But he is still polite) hello! Uncle, my father asked you to arrive at noon, but it was past noon and he left before you arrived.

Guest: (angrily) Hum! How human! I made an appointment to go with someone, and now I'm leaving without anyone else!

Fiona Fang: (angrily) You made an appointment with my father to meet at noon, but you haven't arrived after noon, which means you won't be trusted. It is impolite for you to scold your father to your son!

[The guest listened to Fiona Fang, and hurriedly stepped forward to hold him, trying to make amends to him. The calcium dobesilate capsule entered the door and slammed] without looking back.

The curtain falls (the end of a play)

5. The script of junior middle school Chinese textbook drama: The Tang drama did not live up to its mission (script) Characters: the king of Qin, two guards of Qin, two ministers of An, and the Tang drama (voiceover: In the last decade of the Warring States Period, Qin annexed the vassal states by the autumn wind.

Korea was destroyed in 230 BC and Wei in 225 BC. Anling, a small country attached to Wei, is also facing a critical moment of life and death. )

Act I (In the Anling Palace, the atmosphere is dull, and Anling Jun keeps pacing up and down on the ground, bowing his head from time to time): Two ministers of Anling State (1): Your Majesty, what do you think? An Lingjun: (after thinking a little, slowly) I invited two people today, mainly ... (pause) Yesterday, as you can see, the emissary of the State of Qin. Look at that tough tone. Although I euphemistically use my late king as an excuse, all wise people know what this is.

I wonder, what should we do next after Qin Shihuang returns to China? The main reason for inviting you two today is to listen to your opinions. Second Minister of Anling State (1): Your Majesty, with all due respect, the State of Qin has fallen behind in recent years. I'm afraid it's impossible for a small country like us to confront him head-on. I've been thinking about it for two days, and I think ... An Lingjun: Tell me about it.

I wonder if I can temporarily promise him an annual tribute. After we have accumulated some strength, we will argue with him.

Second Minister of Anling State (another person): Your Majesty, it is obviously a trap for the King of Qin to exchange 500 Li with us. If you give in now, there will be no chance to turn over in the future. Although Qin is powerful, we need not be afraid of him.

He can't always say who to hit. If someone can be sent to explain the reason to him, he is embarrassed not to agree. As long as he promised us, we could avoid the robbery.

As for the future, we will take a long-term view. Ann Ling Jun: That makes sense.

But who can shoulder this heavy responsibility? (Worried) Two Ministers of Anling State (I): Your Majesty, in my opinion, Tang Ju can be sent to Qin State. The second minister of Anling (the other): Your Majesty, Tang Ju is eloquent, intelligent and loyal to your Majesty, and really belongs to him.

Ann: OK, then we'll send Tang Ju to the State of Qin. Act II (Outside the gate of Anling Palace, Anling Jun is holding Tang Ju with nostalgia and expectation) Tang Ju: Your Majesty, please go back.

I will take action according to the situation. An: Tang, this trip to Qin is unusual. Take care all the way.

Tang Ju: Your Majesty, don't worry. If I really can't come back, you don't have to be sad. There will be many people loyal to you in Anling. Ann: Don, I propose a toast to you.

The safety of Anling depends on you. (Tang Ju took the wine, gulped it down and left generously. An Lingjun stood for a long time until Tang Ju's back was out of sight. Act III Qin Guards: (Loudly) On the orders of the King of Qin, an envoy from Xuananling came to see the King of Qin.

(Tang Ju enters the palace slowly) Qin Wang: (Sitting on the ground with a proud face and a slightly upturned head) Are you sent by Ling Jun? Tang Ju: Yes, Your Majesty. Qin Wang: Your name is Tang Ju? Tang Ju: Yes, Your Majesty.

Qin Wang: Come and sit down. Tang Ju: Xie Wang.

(Kneeling on the ground, hips on heels, sitting on the floor) Qin Wang: I want to trade 500 miles for An Ling. I heard that Anlingjun didn't promise me. What happened? As you know, Qin destroyed Korea and Wei, and you can still walk only five miles to Anlingjun, because I regard Anlingjun as an honest elder, so I didn't play his mind. Tang Ju: A Ling Jun always talks about your kindness to us courtiers.

This time I came to see the king, on the one hand, I also took An Lingjun to thank him. Qin Wang: Thank you is not necessary.

I just don't understand. Now I want Anlingjun to expand his territory with ten times the goodwill of the local area, but Anlingjun doesn't want to. Doesn't he take me seriously? Tang Ju: Your Majesty, I don't think you can say that. You think, a Ling Junren accepted the fief of the former king, even if you used thousands of miles of land, a Ling Junren would not dare to exchange it. Did you just change 500 miles? King Qin: (furious) Have you ever heard of the emperor's anger? Tang Ju: To be honest, I have never heard of it.

Qin Wang: Then let me tell you something. When the emperor is angry, millions of people die. (Say that finish glanced at Tang Ju, Tang Ju looked dull, the king of Qin made another gesture, and then said).

Tang Ju: After hearing what you said. It's really not normal for the son of heaven to be angry.

I dare ask your majesty: have you ever heard of the anger of ordinary people? King Qin: (with a contemptuous smile) What do people look like when they are angry? Just take off your hat, barefoot, and hit your head on the ground. What else can we do? Tang Ju: Your Majesty, you are wrong.

You are talking about the anger of a mediocre and incompetent person. Take off your hat, barefoot, and hit your head on the ground. This is not the anger of a truly brave person. Have you ever heard that when Zhuan Xu assassinated Liao Wang, the comet's tail swept across the moon? Qin Wang: (shaking his head) Never heard of it.

Tang Ju: Then you should know that when Nie Zheng assassinated Han Jing, a white light shone directly at the sun. Qin Wang: (shaking his head) I don't know. Tang Ju: That was before Qing Ji was assassinated, when the goshawk pounced on the palace.

You should know this, right? These three people, all ordinary people, have signs of heaven before their anger is vented. Add these three people, and I'll be four. If a real warrior is angry, only two people will die, and there will not be much blood, but everyone wants Dai Xiao.

Let's call it a day. King Qin: (turning pale and hesitant) Please sit down, sir! Please sit down quickly! I was just joking. How can you take it seriously? I understand now: Han and Wei are extinct, but Anling exists 50 miles away because of you! Somebody move this table and bring another table. I want to get drunk with my husband! Qin bodyguard: (loudly) preach the will of the king of Qin and hold a banquet! (Off-screen) (Voice-over) In this struggle between a weak country and a strong country, Tang Ju of Anling country accomplished his task brilliantly.

And this story has since become a much-told story. )。

6. Begging for a: Today we are going to perform;

B: Ask me four people to give the program;

C: think hard for a long time;

D: (Left hand puts fist on the upper side of left orbit, head down) Cool!

A: Not good at singing and dancing;

B: comic sketches can't be performed;

C: The performance is about to start.

D: (dumbfounded) wood!

It's no use complaining.

Why don't you go online for help?

C: There are so many online works.

D: (making a surprise) Boom!

A: Hurry around and click;

B: see where there is a way out;

C: jokes and riddles are really good.

D: (thumbs up) Here!

A: It's good to have a joke.

B: I promise to laugh;

C: make it three and a half sentences;

D: is that all right?

Stop and ask everyone if it's ok, and then continue. )

A: Since everyone said yes;

B: The four of us regard it as a program;

Perform a program at the party;

D: it's a mission!

A: Everyone says Anonymous is ugly;

B: It has grown to thirty-nine;

C: I have never been married;

D: worry!

A: I heard that someone was abducted to a certain place;

B: sell your wife to the ravine;

C: It's nice to think of an ugly girl.

D: go!

A: I was stared at as soon as I left;

B: the ugly girl has her head covered;

C: get on the bus and start;

D: drive away!

A: The car stops halfway;

B: Traffickers lose their heads at first sight;

Who wants such an ugly girl?

D: turn around!

A: The car returned to its old place;

The ugly girl refused to leave.

C: willing to be sold as a woman;

D: raw.

A: Traffickers are worried this time.

B: I don't know how to get rid of her;

Captain: Suddenly, he became very angry and shouted loudly.

D: Leave the car and let's go!

A, B and C: (Wang Ding) Ah? ! (End)