Happy humor joke (make yourself happy when you are tired)

1. I have been suffering from insomnia recently. Until I went to bed last night, the quilt cover was turned upside down. I usually put my feet on my face and then pass out!

2. When I saw a buddy with a sad face, I asked, What's the matter? Why are you so sad when you become a father? Dude: Hey, I just found out I have infertility! I was about to speak when my buddy went on to say, what if this is passed on to my son? Me. . .

The recruits went out for training. A recruit was shocked when he saw six stars on a uniformed shoulder by the roadside: six stars! Salute at attention with a bang to show respect. The platoon leader ran over and slapped him: "a gift for your mother, that's property!" " "

It turns out that pigs can really climb trees. I don't believe you.

Women nowadays are more and more open and shameless. We have a woman here who is pestering me all day, and I can't stand being attentive to me all day, because I don't like her at all, and it's useless to be beautiful. Maybe to please her. This woman often sends me messages asking if I have any money to spend. If so, give her the 80 thousand yuan I owe her.

6. After the Chinese exam, everyone was silent. After the math exam, everyone laughed. This is the difference between heart injury and brain injury. ...

7. A friend works in Japan. He has just been here for a month and is homesick. I ran to the embassy when I had nothing to do. Later, the people in the embassy saw it and asked, "What can I do for you?" Then the boy suddenly hugged a man's leg and cried: "Oh, my God! Finally, I heard someone talking! I just want to hear it! "

8. Husband: "Tonight I ride an electric car with my friends to see Transformers 4. When I came back, the electric car made a strange noise and threw me out at once. Then I became an electric car man and ran away without taking a few steps! " Wife: "This TM is why you lost your electric car?"

9. I went fishing today, and everything is ready. I just sat down and found a small sign next to it, which said, "There is no money here." At what age are we still doing this? I dug it up out of curiosity. Who was so heartless that it dragged in?

10. You slap me, then I slap you, you punch me, then I punch you, you give me a knife, and then brother, I may die.

1 1. After working in the company for several years, employees came to the boss's office: boss ... boss looked up: What can I do for you? Employee: I want to resign! The boss looked at the employees; How did you quit your job? Employee: What do you mean, boss? Boss strikes table: I mean, get out of here!

12. How to transfer the brain money to the bank card, wait online, and hurry!

13. I went to my boyfriend's house the night before yesterday and had a strawberry print on my neck. When I got home, my dad asked me what happened to my neck, and I said I pinched it myself. My dad said you pinch another one. Let me see. I squeezed hard and finally got one. It hurts! When I saw my boyfriend again yesterday afternoon, he asked me why there was another strawberry mark on my neck. I said I pinched it myself, and he said you can pinch another one for me to see. ...

14. You must have been a carbonated drink in your last life, so I am very happy to see you.

15. centipedes don't take off their socks at night. The spider saw it and criticized, "You are too lazy to sleep without taking off your socks." Centipede: "Not lazy, but helpless." Spider: "How hard is it to take off your socks?" Scolopendra: "It's no problem to take off one pair, but it's difficult to take off dozens of pairs!" " It takes time to get up tomorrow and wear it again. "

16. I heard the conversation between mother and daughter in the street. Daughter: "Mom, I find that I am getting whiter and whiter!" " Mother: "You are as fat as a maggot for nothing!" " "Daughter? ...

17. In my lifetime, I hope others will humiliate me with these three sentences: "Why are you so thin?" "Don't you have some stinking money?" "It's good to have a good date?"

18. It is said that the Monkey King bought an iphone and called Tang Priest every day. I hit it again this day, just put it to my ear, and fell to the ground at once, and then scolded: Master, you are wicked, and the ringtone actually used a hoop spell!

Which part do you like?

(Some pictures and texts are from the Internet, delete! )