What are the lines of the fighter sketch in rooster?

"Fighter in the Rooster" comes from the sketch "Planning", and the lines are as follows:

Song Dandan: Daughter-in-law, two hard dishes, the family has come to qie. Put it here to drink later. I miss this thing so much. Tell me. You're done here. Where's it on?

Cattle: At various places.

Song Dandan: The local channel is good. Don't put it on Xiao Cui's, it's not reliable. Last year, since he came back from putting aside his column, that guy has memorized words all the way, so why pay for it? Let's record.

Cow: Aunt, why don't you invite Uncle?

Song Dandan: No, I will.

Cattle: The old couple have their mouths together. So, is it?

Song Dandan: Really? Otherwise, people will think we are divorced. Very comprehensive consideration.

Song Dandan: Lao Hei, wife, come out and hurry. Another big job, our family has to change luck. You cooperate. Let me introduce you, this is your black uncle, and this is a cow plan.

Niuqun: Hello, Uncle, I have seen it on TV.

Song Dandan: Take off your apron.

Niuqun: Then let's start now. As the saying goes, there is no wonder in the world. Behind us, two well-known celebrities, Black Soil and Baiyun, had an anecdote in the world not long ago at the home of Uncle and Aunt Black Soil and Baiyun. Their rooster actually laid eggs.

Song Dandan: Go ahead and do whatever you want.

Zhao Benshan: Why is your mouth like a cotton trousers waist?

Song Dandan: Why?

Zhao Benshan: Why is it so loose?

Song Dandan: What's the matter?

Zhao Benshan: Do you think it's just the two of us who decided on this matter of our the rooster lay eggs? Neither the son nor the daughter-in-law knows. Why did you come here and say it?

Song Dandan: Don't be afraid!

Zhao Benshan: What are you afraid of? Our rooster. I laid eggs ~ this is not the same as telling others that I am pregnant. I'm not talking to you ...

Song Dandan: I counted, one, two ...

Zhao Benshan: Three, whatever. You've been scaring me with these three figures all my life.

Song Dandan: It's so annoying.

Zhao Benshan: Well, I'm not afraid to make you laugh. Your aunt, her, the two of us have been tossing this life. After becoming famous, I published two books, and now I still owe the publishing house 2 thousand yuan.

Song Dandan: Why are you telling people about this thing?

Zhao Benshan: The summonses are here this morning. I want to sue ...

Song Dandan: Is it related to people?

Cattle: Come on.

Zhao Benshan: It doesn't matter, it's ... it's ...

Niuqun: All right, I'll shoot it here.

Zhao Benshan: What does that mean?

Cattle: Uncle, I thought I was going to develop this rooster that lays eggs. This is the advance payment, 2 thousand yuan.

Zhao Benshan: For us?

Niuqun: No, it doesn't belong to parents yet. If I ask questions later, you should cooperate. With good cooperation, we may add more money.

Zhao Benshan: cooperate. You let me cooperate with you. Where should I put it first?

Song Dandan: Is it reliable?

Zhao Benshan: reliable!

Song Dandan: Pull over! Annoying, cooperate well.

Cattle: Then let's begin.

Song Dandan: Here we go.

Cow: All right. Uncle and aunt, when did our the rooster lay eggs start?

Song Dandan: I don't know the exact time. You can log on to my blog.

Niuqun: Does Aunt have her own blog?

Zhao Benshan: Celebrities? They are all mean.

Niuqun: Uncle, please recall carefully. Did the rooster lay eggs have any signs before?

Zhao Benshan: There are no signs ... that's impossible. At that time, this chicken was particularly contradictory and depressed. Think about it. Imagine a rooster. It wants to lay eggs, not its work. There's no shame in losing it. What do you think of it? What does the chicken think of it? What do ducks think? What does Goose think? How to mix in the literary and art circles in the future.

song: chicken world.

Zhao: The chicken world, not the chicken world, is the poultry world. How can we get along? What do the little hens who used to be better with it think? And when it is a rooster, it grows up after laying eggs and hatching chicks. What do you call it? Calling dad, no, calling mom, is not the same as calling aunt, much less. However, if you have an egg, you can't stop laying it, and you will be in a panic, so ...

Song Dandan: So it has strengthened its belief, laid its own eggs and let others talk about it.

sketch introduction

"Planning" was directed by Zhao Benshan and Song Dandan, written by Xu Zhengchao and Cao Guangsheng, and performed by Zhao Benshan, Song Dandan and Niu Niu. It was broadcast on the 27 CCTV Spring Festival Gala on February 17th, 27.

The sketch tells the story that there is a the rooster lay eggs in Baiyun and Heitu. At this time, the cow who is good at hype planned to take a camera to the village to make a film. He wanted to fry the rooster, which can only lay eggs, and spend 2 thousand yuan to buy the chicken from the old couple. But at this moment, the rooster disappeared, and the old couple not only could not get the money, but also had to pay 2 thousand yuan for breach of contract.