Jokes on "Reader"

Centipede Travel

A lonely man bought a centipede as a pet and put it in a box to take home.

Later, he wanted to go for a walk with his new friend, so he knocked on the box and said, "Hey, brother, let's go for a walk?"

There was no sound in the box. .

After a while, the man knocked on the box again and said, "Would you like to go for a walk?"

The centipede still didn't answer.

He decided to ask one last time, so he put his face against the box and shouted: "Hey! Are you interested in going for a walk?"

A faint voice finally came from the box. : "I heard you the first time you called me. I was busy putting on my shoes!"

Husband is having an affair

A woman: If your husband is having an affair, you What will happen?

Yi Fu: I will turn one eye or close one eye.

Jia Fu: Oh, you are so generous!

Oteo: No, I aimed the gun at him.

The Tiger and the Missionary

A missionary is preaching in Africa. One day, the missionary was walking on a path in the forest when he suddenly heard the footsteps of a tiger behind him.

"Lord!" the missionary prayed, "use your mercy to bless the tiger behind him to be a kind believer."

What a coincidence, that tiger is also a believer. The missionary heard the tiger behind him praying: "Lord! Thank you for giving me this dinner."

Jie Short

A beggar was lying on the roadside and groaned: "Everyone has mercy on me, have mercy on me." Well, I crawled all the way from home, and I still have younger siblings to take care of. "

Another blind beggar said: "Stop pretending, I can tell you are a fake cripple at a glance."

The lame man glared at him and said, "Huh, how dare you talk about me! I see how you can pretend to be blind when others have heard you."

Foresight

My girlfriend was shy She said to her boyfriend: "My dear, I can share your troubles, worries and burdens after marriage!"

"Dear, don't worry, I don't have any worries, worries or burdens!"

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"Then you mean you don't want to marry me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Because after marriage, you will have all these things!" ”

Drunkard

An alcoholic went home and just lay down when he was beaten senselessly by a woman.

The drunkard said: "I'm not drunk, why did you hit me?"

The woman beat me and scolded: "You're not drunk yet? You even entered the wrong door!"

The drunkard squinted his drunken eyes, glanced at the woman and said, "Sorry, it turns out you are not my wife..."

As soon as he finished speaking, he received another heavy blow on the head: "I am your wife, and I am a guest at your neighbor's house!"

Congratulations

Businessman Jimmy has been doing business along the railway line for many years. One day, he accidentally discovered a train entering the station on time. , he quickly ran to the conductor and said: "Please smoke, congratulations! I have been running on this railway for 15 years, and this is the first time I have seen a train entering the station on time."

"Leave yours Let’s smoke.” The conductor said, “This is last night’s train!”

Can’t relax

The driving instructor told the student not to be nervous: Your hand holding the steering wheel is too stiff, relax! Just like playing the piano. Student: When I play the piano, there won’t be a lot of pianos rushing towards me from the other side!

What's the scariest thing?

Xiaoxia puts on a scary mask and goes to a special party to see who pretends to be scary.

There were many people at the party, and they all looked ferocious, but no one was seen to be intimidated, and Xiaoxia was no exception.

Xiaxia was very frustrated and took off his mask out of boredom. At this time, a young man next to him saw him, screamed "Ah..." and ran away.