Jokes in the mental hospital

Jokes in mental hospitals

1. Patients in the psychiatric department of hospitals often have a love complex for doctors or nurses.

Female patient: Doctor Lan, do you love me?

Doctor Lan thought for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and prevent the condition from getting worse).

Doctor Lan: Our relationship is between doctor and patient. Because you are sick, I must take good care of you?

(In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time , finally finished explaining)

Female patient: Doctor Lan, do you mean you don’t love me?

Doctor Lan (thinking hard): Hmm? ?Huh?

Female patient: Not bad? I love Dr. Chen?

2. A new nurse came to the mental hospital. When she first arrived, she saw a patient standing around in the hospital. The old well was spinning around, chanting: ?13, 13. The little nurse was quite strange. She couldn't figure out what this ?13? meant. This was the case for several days of continuous observation. She always wanted to step forward and ask what happened, but she was afraid that the patient would have an attack, so she never dared.

One day, the little nurse finally couldn't restrain her curiosity. She slowly walked to the patient and looked into the well. Suddenly the patient hugged the nurse's legs, lifted them down, and began to read: ?14, 14, 14,

3. A patient yelled: I am the director, you all have to listen to me. !!!

The attending doctor and nurse asked him: Who said that?

He replied: God said it.

At this time, a patient next to him suddenly jumped out and said: I never said that!

4. In the mental hospital, a mental patient fished in an empty fish tank every day.

One day, a nurse jokingly asked: How many fish did you catch today?

The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted: There is something wrong with your brain, didn’t you see it? Is the fish tank empty?

5. In order to understand the recovery situation of the patients, the director of the mental hospital thought of a way.

He said to these patients, "You all come here." He drew a door on the wall and said: "Today, whoever opens this door can go home." ?

When the mentally ill people heard this, they swarmed up and surrounded the door of the painting. The dean felt very disappointed. At this time, he found that a patient was still sitting in the original position and did not move. He thought it was okay. , he stepped forward and asked: "Why don't you open the door?"

He looked at the dean and said disdainfully: "I'm not as stupid as them. That door can't be opened." ?The dean felt very happy that he finally had a normal patient. The patient continued to say:

?Because the key is in my hand. ?

6. A patient goes to see a doctor for the first time.

? Regarding your condition, have you consulted anyone before coming here? The doctor asked.

I only asked the owner of the pharmacy on the corner, the patient replied.

The doctor hates people who are not doctors often giving medical advice, and he does not hide this:

?What bad idea did that fool give you?

?He asked me to come to you. ?;