What are the four ways to apologize?

Apology is an effective means of communication to resolve conflicts in interpersonal relationships. When people hurt others, it will inevitably cause psychological imbalance in the other person, conflicts will arise, and the relationship will deteriorate. But if you can apologize sincerely and promptly, the conflict can be resolved in time. When you should apologize, apologize immediately. The longer you delay, the harder it will be to say it, and sometimes you may even regret it. Some people often have a fluke mentality, thinking that others will forget their mistakes before long and time will heal everything. Therefore, they are slow to say an apology. As the saying goes: Money debts are easy to repay, but heart debts are hard to repay. The longer you delay, the heavier the psychological burden will be. The heavier the psychological burden, the harder it will be to talk about it. Therefore, be sure to remember: Apologize promptly.

A sincere apology should be gentle, frank but not humble, look at the other party with friendly eyes, and use polite words such as "forgive", "bother" and "sorry". The language of apology is preferably concise. As long as the basic attitude has been expressed and the other party has expressed understanding in a reasonable manner, avoid being wordy. Otherwise, the other party will have to suspect that you are using the heart of a villain to judge the heart of a gentleman. When apologizing, there is no need to make too many excuses. Even if there are objective reasons that must be explained, they must be explained briefly after a sincere apology, and it is not appropriate to explain endlessly as soon as you open your mouth. Justifying as soon as you open your mouth gives the impression that you are actually positive about your mistakes. This kind of apology will not only not help bridge the emotional rift between the two parties, but will instead widen the rift and deepen the gap. An apology requires sincerity. When the other party has a deep prejudice and is in a state of anger, it is best to first apologize through a third party, and then apologize in person after the other party's anger subsides.

If you don’t think it is a serious problem, but the other person always refuses to forgive you, you should think about this issue. If the anger accumulated little by little makes the other party furious, of course they will not forgive you so easily. If this is the reason, just leave the other person for a while, apologize again after a while when both parties are calm, and see what happens. In addition, if you still can't figure out the reason, ask other friends to find out the reason and then take corresponding measures.

Here are several ways to apologize:

1. Substitute apology

If you feel that your apology cannot be said, you can use other methods instead. For example, for flowers, pick a bouquet of flowers that the other person likes, put them in a vase, and leave a note on the flowers. You can write similar words on it: I present a bouquet of your favorite ×× flowers to express my inner apology. , for example, children use their own children to coordinate the relationship between husband and wife. This method is very effective. If the wife is angry and lying on the bed, the husband might as well cook some delicious food, let the children bring it, and ask the children to pass the message: "Dad said he won't make mom angry anymore, please forgive dad." Just imagine. When a mother hears her child say, "Daddy asked me to give it to you," how could she not forgive her husband for the sake of her child? For example, a note, a box of candy, a phone call, etc. can express your apology.

2. Remedial apology

My mistakes were caused by my carelessness or irresponsibility, which resulted in negative consequences. How should one apologize in this situation? A simple but effective way is to apologize and tell the other party the remedial measures you plan to take. A driver failed to pay attention to the reflector when opening the outside door, knocking down a cyclist and damaging his new suit. The cyclist was very angry at first, but the driver, while reviewing the situation, reported his name and address, and took the initiative to send the torn suit to be darned. The cyclist's anger disappeared as he listened to those sincere words. Just imagine, if the driver just apologizes without making amends, can a conflict be avoided?

If you are cleaning at home, after mopping the floor, just hang the mop in the window without twisting it. Maybe people downstairs were drying their quilts or clothes, but this time they suffered a disaster. At this time, the neighbors downstairs came to protest. Of course, the first thing to do is to invite the other party in. After asking about the situation, the first thing to do is to immediately take in the dripping mop and correct the mistakes one by one with actions. Then comes self-blame and seeking ways to make amends. You can offer to help them rewash their contaminated clothing and take action immediately. Of course, you should also ask, "Is there anything else I can do to make up for my mistake?" As long as the other person's request is within your capabilities, you should satisfy them. Of course, the specific methods will also vary from person to person.

3. Humorous apology

For example, Xiao Wang and his wife have been married for three years and have never blushed. Not long ago, they had a dispute over how to use a bonus. The wife wanted to use this The money was used to buy a fashionable dress, and Xiao Wang wanted to use the money to buy a small rice cooker. Due to different opinions, both sides insisted on one side and refused to give in to the other. The wife was so angry that she refused to eat. Xiao Wang calmed down and felt that it was not worth it for such a trivial matter to affect the good relationship between husband and wife, so he walked to his wife and bowed: "Madam, there is no need to be upset over such a trivial matter. This matter today is not your husband's fault. I hope you will be lenient. "Forgive me, forgive me!" His wife was amused by his words. Xiao Wang used lines from ancient operas and applied them to real life, creating a humorous effect. In addition, there are methods such as telling jokes and joking, which can also amuse the other party and resolve conflicts.

4. Apologize with praise

When apologizing, praise the other person so that the other person can gain a sense of self-satisfaction and know that you are right and others are wrong, so that you can easily to gain the other party’s understanding. For example, you can say: "I have wanted to review you for a long time. When we came to the work together, you were very concerned about me, like a big brother. Later, you only blamed me for being ignorant and doing something inappropriate." "Some of the things I said were wrong. I know you are magnanimous and can forgive me for my mistakes." Generally speaking, you can usually blame yourself when apologizing, but you often forget to praise the other person. sentence. In fact, the compliment method is a good way to apologize. If purely objective reasons, such as climate change, unexpected traffic accidents, etc., have caused some trouble and loss to the other party, why can't you apologize? Blindly looking for objective reasons, it is not easy to blame the other party verbally, but the mood is always unpleasant, which is not conducive to enhancing friendship. If you ask someone for help, and the other person tries their best, but due to various constraints, the matter cannot be accomplished, or even though the matter is accomplished, the effort the other person has put in has caused him more trouble than you originally expected. Much more. How can any reasonable person not feel any guilt and not say a few heartfelt words of thanks and apology? This reflects your respect for the work of others, and you can ask for help from them in the future. Another example is that the other person did not listen to your advice, caused a big disaster, and caused huge losses to his life and property. He is immersed in grief. At this moment, you must not rush to criticize the other person's mistakes first, let alone blame him for not listening to your advice. Instead, you should first express condolences and then apologize because you did not try your best to dissuade him again and again. Any reasonable person will be extremely grateful to you and regard you as a trustworthy and close friend.