Are there any hilarious jokes? ..

A novice went to collect usury. He took out the IOU and said with a smile: It was written clearly in black and white, and you owe me 1 10,000! difficult

Do you want to default? ! People really don't have that much money, he threatened: hum! Don't blame me for not reminding you! Hand it in tomorrow.

If you don't pay, your house is just like it-he takes out his lighter and burns the loan. ...

A mouse was chased by a cat and strayed into a flower shop. Seeing that there was no way out, the mouse picked up a bunch of roses as a weapon to make it stubborn.

Strong resilience ... The cat was startled, immediately lowered its head and said shyly, you damn fool, this is too sudden. ...

Nurse: "Doctor, it's not good!" " Just now, the patient took the medicine we gave her, and the child fainted as soon as she got out of the clinic! "

Doctor: "Come on, turn her body over, as if she had just entered the door!" " "

The police officer who executed the death penalty walked into the cell and announced the order to the prisoner while shaking his raincoat. The prisoner said in surprise, how dare you?

Going to the execution ground in the heavy rain? The officer said, what do you have to complain about? I have to come back in the rain!

Tang Priest: This time we need to find a shortcut to learn from the scriptures!

Wukong: Flying is faster than riding!

Bajie: Shenzhou VI is faster!

Friar Sand pulled out his gun and said, I heard this thing will be sent to the west at once.

A motorcyclist likes to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle his buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he was drunk driving,

Roll over and hit the side of the road.

When the police arrived, ...

Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.

Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.

Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.

Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around.

Officer A: Well, I'm not breathing. ......

Q: Who is the darkest cartoon character in the world?

A: Robot cat

Why: Because he can't see his fingers.

Q: Who is the most compassionate cartoon character in the world?

A: It's still a robot cat

Why: Because he always reaches out his round hand to people!

A couple quarreled. Woman: "You can't compare with anyone!" " "Man:" Yes, especially girlfriends! " "

Do you like my angel's face or the devil's figure? M: I ... I like your sense of humor.

A high school boy called his girlfriend in the middle of the night to fall in love.

Unfortunately, the girl's mother received it. After asking the purpose, my girlfriend's mother was very unhappy and asked, "What's your last name? 」

The boy said, "My surname is Wei. 」

Mother asked again, "What happened to Wei? 」

At this time, the man nervously replied: "I don't know why? My father's surname is Wei, too 」

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp.

Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. "

Man: "I want a wife ..."

The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully, "I'm starving and I'm greedy for beauty!" " Pathetic! "Say that finish will disappear.

I lost it.

Man: "... cake."

Grandma's cake is a kind of cake.

Xiaomi: "Mom, I'm hungry!" " "

Mi's mother: "lovely, dad can't find a job and there is no food at home."

Xiaomi: "But I'm hungry ~ ~ ~"

Mother Mi: "Alas ... OK, you can borrow some pickles next door, and I'll boil bath water for your father."

A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm going to die!" "

That's settled. God help me! "

I saw a voice from the sky when the light came: "Not necessarily, you pick up a big stone on the ground and take the lead."

The chief was killed. "So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the emirate, just killing it. All ethnic groups

Everyone stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead."

A lumberjack applied for a job.

Go to the Woods ahead and see ... see how many trees you can saw in a minute. .....

In a minute. ....

Foreman: Wow ... 20 trees a minute ... amazing ... where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara forest ......

Foreman: Never heard of it ... I only heard of the Sahara Desert. ......

Worker: Yes ... I changed my name later.

Policeman: "Say, what's your name?"

Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan."

Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? "

Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."

When Mr. Wang's son was in the third grade of primary school, one day mathematics could not be taught repeatedly.

By his impatient mother.

Mr. Wang was outside the study and heard his son being scolded badly.

I thought that when my son was scolded, I would comfort him so as not to leave a shadow of being scolded in his mind.

After being scolded, the son walked out of the study with a broken face.

In order to know how he felt after being scolded, Mr. Wang first asked him, "How do you feel about being scolded by your mother? 」

I saw my son look at him with sad eyes and said:

"Why do you want to marry her? 」

Two foreigners go shopping in Carrefour. When checking out, the clerk asked, "Can you speak Chinese? 」

Two foreigners replied in Mandarin: "Speak slowly, we can understand!" ! 」

The clerk said, "OK ... You ... talk ... China people? 」

Spanish dance

A man in China once went to Spain on business.

One night, there was a dance, and the man took his wife to attend, but when he got to the venue, the dance had already begun.

So he dragged his wife to the empty dance floor and they jumped up! After the music, I found all the people dancing.

Chi, stare at them. ....

He asked his Spanish friend, "Why don't you dance together? 」

His Spanish friend said, "... that's the Spanish national anthem! ! 」

Cinema.

W: Why did you throw the orange peel on the ground?

Man: What, you want me to throw orange meat?

A loving couple is celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.

Watching the middle-aged neighbors ask the old students first:

"Why can maintain a happy and beautiful marriage for fifty years? I have never heard you quarrel since I was born.

Voice, haven't you ever had an argument? 」

The old man said: "Of course there are disputes, but none of them will expand. I learned this truth from my honeymoon trip.

... I remember that the traffic was inconvenient at that time, and we went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon, and each of us rented a donkey.

Her donkey was obviously lazy and soon rested on the side of the road.

I only heard my wife say coldly, "The first time. 』

When the donkey wanted to be lazy for the second time, she pointed to the donkey and said, "This is the second time. 』

When the donkey refused to leave for the third time, she unhurriedly took out her rented pistol and fired a shot! 」

The middle-aged neighbor said in surprise, "Your wife is so cruel! 」

The old man said, "isn't it? I don't think it's right to stop by the side of the road and accuse her. She didn't argue with me, but she was cold.

Say to me coldly, "the first time". 」

Xiao Zhang teaches in a junior high school. He is tall and handsome, but when he is nervous, he stutters.

On one occasion, when he was invigilating the monthly exam, he found a student looking for an answer with his head down and his book turned. He was furious and pointed to cheating.

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you, how dare you cheat? Get up! " The student shouted. "Words say that finish, there are six students at once.

Stand up.