A joke in which homophones and homophones are misused.

1, one day after class, the teacher hurried into the classroom and said, "Two people, I want class flowers." Everyone thinks it's interesting, especially the boys. They are very excited and active. After some twists and turns, they finally chose two beautiful girls. The teacher waved his hand and said, "Come and move flowers with me to the Academic Affairs Office."

2. One day I asked mm what was the first thing you did after you got married? Mm thought for a moment, first blushed, then a pair of eyes flashed, and said very wisely, "What else can there be if two people talk?" I said:

"Wrong, your sister is unconscious, why don't you call an ambulance!" (Note: In the Northeast dialect, the word is often read three times. Later, I told mm in the south, and she said directly, "Take it to the hospital!" "I am sweating. )

One day I was washing clothes in the water room, and a mm came in. I said to her, "Marry me." She was too shocked to speak. I said, "What are you doing? Give me the hanger quickly. "

One day I went back to my dormitory and said to my roommate, "I saw a woman taking a bath in the water room." (Note: the structure of the water room is the bathroom in the outer room and the shower room in the inner room) My roommate expressed disbelief, but seeing my sincere face gave him a glimmer of hope, so he asked me, "Are you finished?" I said, "No."He hurried to the water room, and when he came back, he said convincingly, "There is indeed a woman taking a bath." The next day, I told a mm about it. At first, she didn't believe me. Later, she called me a rogue. Later, she understood and said, "It is inevitable for men and women to live together." I was very dissatisfied, so I picked up the jujube on the table and took a bite.

, said: "What happened when I saw a woman taking a bath? It's not like I haven't seen it before. I saw you washing dates today! "

One day, honest Xiao Li made four big wooden barrels overnight, and the next day he had to carry them to the town to sell subsidized households. Xiao Li got on the bus early in the morning. After getting on the bus, Xiao Li saw that all the seats on the bus were full, so he took out a wooden bucket and sat down.

After a while, the bus arrived at the next stop, but several people got on the bus instead of getting off. One of them is a beautiful lady in a one-step dress. After getting on the bus, she saw that there was no seat, so she took out a bucket of Xiao Li and sat down. Seeing the market, Xiao Li wants to put away the bucket. Seeing that the young lady still showed no sign of getting up, I had to tell her, "Miss, please lift your ass. I want a bucket. "

As a result, the whole car laughed

7. The netizen sent me such a short message; A northerner went to the south on business and went to a restaurant for dinner. He asked, how much is the steamed bread? The waitress replied with a smile: Touching 50 yuan, the man asked: What's next? A: 100 yuan, the man is angry again.

Q: What about jiaozi? A: Sleeping for 200 yuan, the man shouted: black shop, black shop, I want to report it. The woman asked: Oh, you are from Haidian, Beijing. If you can lift it, of course you can hold it. If you can't lift it, you can hold it.

Although it is a joke, it is very practical. In the north, steamed buns are called steamed buns, which is different from the touching nature of southerners. Northerners call eating noodles below, while southerners regard it as the lower body. Jiaozi and sleeping, black shops and Haidian, reporting and hugging are all homophones, and many homophones can make countless jokes.

8. An old woman is preparing to go home after buying vegetables. On the road, there is a big road. She walks very slowly. A car couldn't stop and hit her [chest]. She fell to the ground. The driver on the bus got off and asked about the injury! ? I wanted to take the old lady to see a doctor, but I thought, "Which department should I take her to see?" So the driver said, "Grandma, what subject does your injury depend on?" The old lady said angrily, "Nonsense! Of course, I want to see both! 」