Are there any novel and super funny jokes?

1. I went to deposit money at noon While waiting in line, a beautiful woman asked me at the back: "Save money?" "Yes!" "I just want to withdraw money. Anyway, if you want to save it, you might as well give it to me without waiting in line. " I thought it made sense, so I gave her the money.

2. Get on the bus in the afternoon, take out the bus card and bump into the slot.

One day, I found that my mobile phone was missing. I searched my bag and every corner of the house, but it didn't work. I sat on the ground depressed, took out my mobile phone from my pocket and sent a short message to everyone: I lost my mobile phone.

My neighbor forgot his key, turned it over from my balcony, found the key in the house, turned it back, and then opened his door. What's even more amazing is that I met on the balcony from beginning to end and didn't feel anything wrong. Well, our heads must have passed through the same door.

5. I remember the first time I confessed to a girl, I was so nervous that I said, "Well, that, XX, I'll be your girlfriend."

6. A few days ago at work, a young colleague asked for a bottle of big Sprite and poured it for everyone. When it was his turn, the bottle was empty. So my colleague shook the Sprite bottle and said to the waiter, "Is this still available?" The waiter ran over, took the bottle and examined it carefully. He said sincerely, "No more."

7. Have dinner with two enthusiastic female colleagues in the company (plump type), and they set about introducing me.

I want to say: you two matchmakers are really enthusiastic.

As a result, I opened my mouth: you two fat women. .....

8. Brothers play Warcraft. The counselor rounds the room, furious, grabs the mouse, drags the desktop shortcut of Warcraft into the recycle bin, empties it, and says, let you play again!

9. Today, my dad called my mom's cell phone, and my mom was busy, so I answered it.

Me: Hello.

Dad: Well, where is your dad?

Me: Huh?

Dad: What is your father doing?

Me: Er ... On the phone.

Dad: Oh, please ask him to call me back when he is finished.

10, once everyone was playing mahjong, so they lit candles and continued to play. Later, someone was too hot and shouted "Hey ~ turn on the electric fan". Everyone quickly advised, "No, no, the candle will be blown out.

1 1, took a fancy to gloves. The boss wanted 35 yuan, and I said I'd take 30 yuan. The boss insisted on 35 yuan and refused to give in after several rounds of talks. I thought about it and gave one to 50 yuan. He quickly gave me 35 yuan. . . .

12, a topic requires connecting the following four sentences with related words:

1. Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi studied acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: "Sister Zhang Haidi, although paralyzed, studied hard and learned not only many foreign languages, but also acupuncture.

As a result, one child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed despite her tenacious study of acupuncture and many foreign languages.

I found a more fierce child writing: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so doggedly that she was finally paralyzed!

13, cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" " "

14, my name is Zhu, and I am in the computer room of the management unit. Someone once called my mobile phone: "Sir Chicken, are you in the pigsty?" I was yelling at that guy.

15, a leader led everyone to drink, raised his glass and shouted: "Let's die together!"

All (...)

16, I remember once buying a fruit named Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? The boss froze on the spot.