Wouldn't it be much better if it was a daughter? What do you mean?

Is the daughter really much worse than the son?

The answer still seems to be: yes.

The following ideas are based on my years of experience.

Not long ago, I just came home. On the last journey home, I took the Chang 'an bus, and several big men were discussing my son. The content is roughly:

One of the men said that there were three sons in his family. One of them is two years older and the younger two are twin sons; Then she has a sister, and her sister's family is also two sons. The age difference is not big, and the age stage is similar.

Well, that's hard. In the future, these children will be crowded together when they go to school and get married. It's hard to afford to study. If you have a son, you should at least go to college. In the future, wedding events will pile up together. It was really difficult to buy a house at that time. The older generation can't stand straight. In rural areas, when a son gets married, naturally both the son and the old man think that the old man should buy a house for his son.

They talked for a long time about these sons and talked all the way. It is difficult to have so many sons. I forgot to mention, the local dialect says that the son doesn't say a few things, but a few things. The man they kept talking about got off the bus and gradually stopped talking. However, after the man got off the bus, someone added: It would be much better if the second child was a daughter.

"I wish I had a daughter" is not a good word here.

It's not what everyone says: my daughter is a sweet little cotton-padded jacket, and her daughter is so cute that people feel sweet. It's not that having a daughter can teach her to dress up well, but it's much cheaper for them, or it's cost-effective. This idea is still very common, at least in this place where I grew up.

Let's talk about a cheap and cost-effective method first: (according to their breeding method)

One: in terms of meeting the cost of material support, the cost of daughters and sons is similar. There is no need to raise them more exquisitely just because they are daughters, and there is no concept of rich and poor. Just raise them, meet the basic needs of eating and dressing, and grow up day by day. How to raise a son, how to raise a daughter, that's all.

Two: Regarding the cost of education, parents of children generally think that it is better to read more books, but not too much.

If you are a son, you have to go to college, whether it is an undergraduate or a junior college; Daughter, can read, can't read.

In their eyes, it is unnecessary for girls to read so many books.

I have a cousin, and her mother has the same idea. Her mother often tells her: you can read books, we provide them; If your grades are not good, you won't study. If you don't study, we will also charge a bag of money (from your family's income, studying is a very expensive thing). But my cousin doesn't want to study hard, because at present, only reading can bring her some possibilities to change her fate. Or you can think about it. ...

Three: in the matter of getting married (in their minds, this is the key to their daughter's cheapness):

If you are a son, you must have a house to get married. No matter the size of the house, no matter the location is good or bad, there must be a wedding room. Combined with our situation here, we have to get hundreds of thousands, which is not a small sum for our son's parents. They have to work hard to get a suite for their son.

If it is a daughter, it is completely unnecessary. To get married, you have to take the bride price money from the man and have a house. My parents think like this: I finally raised my daughter, and I have to have a place to live; The daughter thinks this way: it is inconvenient to live with the elderly, and there will be more contradictions; The other son thinks this way: if I get married, my mother should buy it for me; If you don't buy, you can't marry a daughter-in-law, and you can't have grandchildren (grandchildren, but most old people refer to grandchildren). If the daughter's family finds a good job, parents will really have a career to raise their daughter.

So, they would say it would be nice if it were a daughter. If it is a daughter, the cost of raising is much lower.

Why low?

The superficial behaviors listed above are all caused by thoughts in depth.

They think like this: the daughter is never her own, and sooner or later, she will splash water. They are for others, so it's good to raise them, and you can "get back" some after raising them.

And the son is his own. A son can carry on the family line. When you reach a certain age, you will take one person home, sometimes more than one person, there are several. During the Chinese New Year, it is generally believed that it takes time for the man, and the woman's house will naturally be cold. The children born to the son's daughter-in-law are also from the son's side.

I wonder if you can understand these ideas I just mentioned? No exaggeration, no fabrication, that's the idea. People with this idea are in a certain class, or there are other classes, many, many.

So: after living here for so long, I found that no matter which family, no matter how poor (not to mention rich families), if there is a son at home, no matter how hard parents try, they will always earn a house for their son, their teeth clenched and their backs gradually bent. And the daughter, absolutely not. Personally, it depends on the attitude of slightly richer families towards their daughters.

What is this? It seems that there are some benefits. Parents work hard, but not necessarily for their sons. Everyone is interested in the pros and cons of this, so you can think it over carefully. We won't discuss this today.

I feel very angry. I used to think: Why? Alas, I can't help it.

Like me and my sister, they are both my parents' daughters. I jokingly said, "Mom and Dad, can you raise me as a son and earn me a house?" Of course, this is a joke. I just want to see Doby and them and see their reaction. Because mom and dad almost think so.

Look at the people around me. At that time, everyone's economic situation was similar. But families with sons, regardless of the process, finally bought their sons a good house. No matter what the house is, I bought it after all and spent tens of thousands of dollars, from hundreds of thousands to hundreds of thousands. And the daughter-raising person is still like that. People who raise daughters are lazy, because the pressure of raising daughters is really much less.

Of course, I'm not asking my parents for anything. Just understand. Change yourself.

What I want to say is that "many people" are different from their daughters and sons, from having daughters and sons, and from adopting daughters and sons. The root of the problem lies in their thoughts. The status of women is really "low". I'm sorry to be so depressed.

I am a daughter, the daughter of my parents. My parents' words are: XX (my name), just study hard, finish college, find a job, find someone and live by yourself. If you can't study, or don't want to study, don't study, go out to work, and then find someone to live.

Well, my answer is: OK, OK. Because I don't want to argue with them, and I don't want to argue with them. The mouth is: ok, I am obedient.

But I thought to myself: I'm not. Don't live casually. I am an independent individual. I'm a daughter. Why? I'm still alone. How to live, how to grasp myself, I will grasp well.

Ann. Both the daughter and the son are fine. Adults and children can. Whether you are a man or a woman, everyone should live a good life.