Bullshit. How to say it in a funny way?

1. If you are lucky enough to be together in the future, you must have a clear division of housework. You clean the house and I'll clean you up.

In fact, the most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, but we didn't come back with me in the end. What a waste of money for me!

3. Senior three went to the bank to get a card, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is: rectangle.

I want to do what a good-looking girl can do by threatening.

I don't even want to set the password of the bank card now. It's tiring to think about protecting two-digit deposits with six figures.

6. Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? Of course, the daughter-in-law is important, so I only dare to play games, not my daughter-in-law.

7. Stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find one of the four options in the exam.

8. Sometimes you have to be thin in life and always be fat in life. If you are drunk today, you will be fatter tomorrow.

9. If you didn't receive an apple on Christmas Eve and a present on Christmas Day, please don't feel sad or sad. Then there are New Year's Day, Spring Festival and Valentine's Day, and I get used to it.

10. If you like someone, you must strive to pursue, love and confess. Don't give up easily even if you are rejected, hit or hurt. After a dozen failures, you will stop.

1 1, others are worried about how to make money, but I am worried about how to spend money. How to spend 200 yuan until next month?

12, love is as poor as money in a bank card, but loneliness and desire are as silent as loans.

13, in fact, the real rich are very low-key and can't be seen from the outside. Take me for example. Although I often ride a broken bike to the streets, who would know that there is an electric car at home?

14, we can't lengthen the length of life, but we can expand the width of life. I think this sentence is so reasonable! It means: although you can't grow taller, you can still gain weight.

15, it only takes two steps to make a girl crazy: the first step is to take pictures of her. Step two, don't let her see the photos.