Selected homophone jokes for primary school students

1. Chinese teachers often teach students: "Use metaphors when writing compositions, so as to make things more concrete and vivid."

A student wrote in the composition: "Our The teacher is like a strong cow, nurturing us with sweet milk to thrive. ”

2. A drunkard applied for a job at a wine company and tasted more than a dozen types of wine. The examiners all told the year and degree. Everyone was shocked. The manager winked at the female secretary, who took a glass of urine and handed it to her. After tasting it, the drunkard said: Female, 23 years old, two months pregnant! Suddenly the whole place was silent. The drunkard thought he had failed in applying and said angrily: If you don't give me this job, I will tell the father of the child! Several leaders present quickly said in unison: You are admitted!

3. 1. A friend said, "What is loneliness? It's just that the fifty yuan phone bill actually lasted three months...three months."

4. Some people always post "I'm here" on QQ. ", and then when you replied "Yes" and waited for the second half of his sentence, you never said a word again, as if you had disappeared from this time and space without a trace. *** I want to drag this kind of person over from the other side of the computer and slap him hard: "I'm here, I'm here, I'm here! *** I'd better finish the second half of the sentence!"

5. The teacher assigns homework. "Exercise 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 16, 19. Just do these." Suddenly I heard shouting: "Teacher, there is one less question. Let's assign another one." The teacher was overjoyed, thinking that he finally expected us. A day of active learning. So he said with a smile: "Okay, let's add questions 22 and 27." After class, the *** sounded, and all the boys ran to the lottery betting station, saying as they ran: "Our teacher is really good, now even the special numbers are "Yes."

6. The teacher was helping a primary school student fill out the registration form. She asked: What does your father do?

The primary school student said proudly: My father is the governor!

The teacher was startled and asked: Which province is the governor of?

The primary school student replied: When I was in kindergarten, my father never bought me toys. In terms of saving, the aunts all said that my father was the most economical parent, and later he was called the governor.

7. When I was a child, I made a typo and was severely scolded by the teacher. The teacher read in class: There are golden watches all over the floor, some are mature and have their heads lowered, and some are not yet mature and slim...

8. Primary school students go to school Late, standing at the door sobbing.

The teacher asked angrily: "Why are you late?"

The primary school student burst into tears: "I...I...my grandpa..."

The teacher was shocked! Poor child, he comforted him and said: Don't be sad. Your grandfather's spirit in heaven doesn't want you to cry.

Then the primary school student cried and continued: "My grandpa fell asleep and didn't wake me up."

9. Mom: Tell me, when your dad slipped down the ladder, he made a loud noise. What? Tom: Can I spare the dirty words he said? Mom: Of course. Tom: No then.

10. When my younger brother was in the fifth grade of elementary school, he had a Chinese language test. Explain the meaning of the idiom Liushenwuzhu? Guess what he wrote...Nima! What he wrote was, Whose is this bottle of Liushen toilet water? I'm so awesome, I'm on my knees!

11. The boy had dinner at his aunt’s house, and his aunt cooked fish for him to eat. The child said while eating: This fish is so delicious, it would be even better if there were no thorns!

12. One day, a child asked the teacher: Teacher, ‘7 1 = how many’? The teacher said: 8, you are so stupid, then I will teach you one more minute every day! The child said: No, this expression describes you -----7 - = ugly. Hahahaha ``````.

13. On the bus, I picked up Guoguo and offered my seat to an old man. Guoguo looked at the old man for a while and said softly to me: "Mom, will you grow old?" I replied: "Yes." "Then will your hair be white?" "Yes, it will be the same as your grandma's hair." Bai." "Ah! Are you as old as grandma?" "Yes.

Guoguo stared at me for N seconds and said, "Oh my god, then I will have two grandmas!" ”

14. After a heavy rain, Xiaoling dragged her father’s big rain boots to play in the water. There was a hole in the rain boots and water entered. Xiaoling thought: This is easy to handle, just make another hole. , Just let the water flow out. So, he used scissors to make another hole in the boots. If more water accumulated in the rain boots, how many holes would it take to let the water out?

15. Child A fell into a well on the side of the road and shouted for help. Child B heard it and asked: Are you okay? Child A quickly said: Call me dad! B: Damn, why don’t you let me know? I call you dad!!

16. A visiting lady was very surprised why her little nephew was so well-behaved. She said: "Why are you so obedient?" The little nephew replied: "Because my mother promised to buy me a toy panda, if I don't laugh at your garlic nose and raucous ears." ”

17. Dagang and Zhiqiang were six years old. One day Dagang asked Zhiqiang: What is a typhoon? Can you tell me? Zhiqiang replied: You are so stupid! You don’t even know this. , Typhoon is the wind blowing from Taiwan

18. I heard my second brother ask her five-year-old daughter: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Answer: "Police." He asked again: "Why the police?" Answer: "Because the teacher often said that if you find money, you should hand it to the police." ”

19. A child read in front of the Agricultural Bank of China: China’s agriculture is very good!… After a while, in front of the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China, he recited: China’s industry and commerce is very good!… In the Chinese people He said in front of the bank: The Chinese people are great!

20. My two-year-old daughter likes to lie on the carpet. . One day I couldn't bear it anymore: Why are you lying on the ground again? My daughter whispered as she climbed up: I tripped over an ant. 21. My four-year-old son listened to the children's song "Little Dragon." "People", when singing: "I have horns on my head, and a tail behind me, no one knows how many 'secrets' I have." "At that time, the son said loudly: "Dad, I have two ***! ”

22. My son was three years old. One day he came to me and asked: Mom, do you love me? I said: Mom loves Xiaobao very much! He immediately said: Then you marry me. That uncle who sells ice cream! ...

23. We call children’s penis Niu Niu. Once, a colleague brought his two-year-old son Niu Niu to our house to play with me. My son enthusiastically took Niu Niu and went out to play. Thinking that there were all familiar people in the yard, we didn't care. After a while, my son came back alone, and my colleague asked: Where is Niu Niu? Looking at his crotch pants, he said: Isn’t Niu Niu right here?

24. One day, I was having a video chat with my brother, and my brother asked him if he missed his uncle. "Then come on." "At this time, my son bumped into the video window, and I hugged him. My son cried and said, "I want to go there, I want to go there." ”

25. Xiao Ming wrote an essay and handed it to the teacher. Because the handwriting was too sloppy, the teacher looked up and down, left and right, but couldn’t identify a single word, let alone understand the meaning of the text. . So the teacher wrote with a stroke of his pen: It looks like a prescription. He is a doctor.

26. Mom: "My parents have something to do tonight and won't be back until very late." "Xiao Ming: "Then I will be very tired! "Mom:" Why are you so tired? "Xiao Ming: "I will be very tired watching TV! ”

27. My nephew is only two and a half years old, and he is already naughty and humorous. Once he made a mistake and his father wanted to hit his ***, but he ran away and screamed that *** was gone. Ask him why he didn’t He replied: I was playing outside just now and forgot to bring it back when I came back.

28. Jiajia stood behind the sketching artist and looked at it for a long time, and then asked: "Uncle, are you very poor?" ? It’s so laborious, why not buy a camera? ”

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