Tell a few good jokes, preferably text messages.

1. One day, one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by observing its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two.

3. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down to smell it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

Buy black tea once a day, and it feels different from the previous taste! Habitually pick up the bottle cap and have a look. Another bottle! I'm glad I went to receive the prize. The boss calmly said, look again, I'll buy another bottle after I take the exam!

5. Go to the supermarket with Mr. Chen and see pomegranate vinegar. Lao Chen said pomegranate can also be used as vinegar! Seeing apple vinegar, Mr. Chen said that apples can also be used as vinegar! Finally, when I saw the old vinegar, I said you were a tragedy. . . .

6. One day when I went to town, I had a sudden urgency to urinate and found a quiet corner to prepare my homework. I didn't expect to be scolded and fined by a * * when I found out. I was angry and answered loudly: I didn't pee, and I didn't even dare to take out anything to see!

7. Penguin GG and Penguin MM went on a date. Penguin MM hasn't arrived at the date yet. Penguin GG has been looking around ... left, right ... left, right ... penguin MM came and saw penguin GG like this. I was angry! A slap in the face came and scolded: "You fucking think you are logging in to QQ!"

8. A: "I used to play chess with your father. Once, your father had only one elephant left, and I had only one scholar left. So, I suggested that elephants and people cross the river, and your father agreed. Your father will use his image as me, and I will use your father. Your father used his image as me again, so I used your father again. Your father is like me and I am like your father. Your father is like me, and I am your father. B: Get out!

9. My wife spent a lot of money on plastic surgery and turned into a beautiful woman to go home in a few days! When he came in, he said to his puzzled husband, "What's the matter? Don't know me? " The husband paused, then said in surprise, "Come in quickly, my wife is not at home."

10. Once I suddenly thought of going swimming, I bought a pair of cheap swimming trunks in the supermarket, because there were no other colors, only red. As a result, I didn't expect the swimming trunks to fade. When I was soaking in the pool, a wisp of red came out of my lower body and rippled in the water ... An uncle swam past me, looked at the red "blood" under me and looked at my bare upper body. For an instant, his expression was very contradictory. ...