The embarrassment of China's jokes in ancient and modern times

The embarrassment of China's jokes in ancient and modern times

The following is a set of jokes I arranged for you. Let you be happy in your busy schedule!

Abrupt address

At the end of the Song Dynasty, Cai Ben, a scholar, entered Beijing to take the exam. He won the first place in the imperial examination because of flattering the powerful minister, so he went to Cai Jing, the powerful minister, to thank humbly, and addressed Cai Jing as uncle.

Cai Jing asked his sons Cai You and Cai Wu to meet him. Cai Ben quickly changed his mind and said that his uncle came and his son went to see two uncles again.

The jackal bites the fish.

In times of drought, you should show sincerity in asking for rain. Slaughtering is prohibited by law.

Teacher Yu Shiloude visited Shaanxi County, and local officials asked the cook to bring him mutton to eat in order to flatter him. Teacher Lou asked the cook, why kill the sheep?

The cook replied that it was not killed. It was killed by a jackal.

Teacher Lou said with a smile, this jackal is very polite.

After a while, the chef brought the braised fish again. Suggestion, the cook deliberately said:

Also killed by a jackal.

Teacher Lou laughed, you idiot! Why didn't you say it was killed by an otter?

It won't give away clues.

The bitch was pardoned.

There was a private school gentleman who specialized in reading other words, and the prince wanted to punish him for being a dog. The gentleman insisted on being a bitch and asked him why.

He said: when you are in financial difficulties (when you encounter money), you will get nothing, and when you encounter difficulties (when you encounter disasters), you will get nothing.

Refuse to avoid

During the reign of Xuanhe, Xu Shen paid attention to taboos and asked others to avoid their names.

When he was appointed as the magistrate of Changzhou, a county magistrate reported his official business to him, saying: one thing has been reported to the inspection department three times, and no reply has been heard.

Xu Shen was furious and scolded: You are a county official, you don't know my name, and you deliberately don't avoid it!

Who knows that the county magistrate is a person who refuses to kiss up, and simply roared loudly: If this matter is reported to the government and not handled, I will report it to the central household department, report it to Shangshutai, report it to Shangshu Province, and apply until I declare my death. Say that finish, arch hand and roared off. Although Xu Shen was angry, there was no excuse to convict him.

A satrap's mistake

One day, it was reported that the prisoner had died in prison. The satrap was furious, that is, he called the official code of prison last year and whipped it.

The official code is very wronged: the villain is responsible for repairing the prison, and of course the prison will be flogged if it is not repaired. But what does it matter to me now that prisoners are hanged in prison?

Xu Jie added fuel to the fire, thundering: beast! You are both a petty official and a jailer (equivalent to today's warden). Prisoners hang in prison, and you won't whip anyone!

Li Dian realized that it was the brilliant satrap who took Li Dian's title apart and interpreted it as a small official and a prison, which led to his being beaten again in vain.

Less talent and no virtue.

What is the left servant of Shangshu? The cursive script is not well written. When signing, he always writes the word "dog" in the word "respect" very big and the word "father" very small. Lu teased:? Hey? Is it too big? Father? Not small either. He Jingrong had to smile after listening.

In addition, Jiang also borrowed the lotus in the short edition of Cai He Diao, and wrote: If you want to hold the lotus as a pillar, the lotus is not a beam; If you want to hold the lotus as a mirror, it has no light. I secretly demoted why there is no talent and no virtue, and I will show it to him when it is done. He Jing Rong didn't know the secret, but he also praised the exquisiteness and neatness of the poem.

Weng Su broke into the house.

Weng Su, the satrap of Jiangzhou, Fujian, is old and confused.

A younger man was sent to take his place. One day, the new magistrate arrived, and after completing the handover procedures, Weng Su was still in the throne. When the new prefect arrived, he was embarrassed to care. After a while, he got up and left the court to go back to the house. Weng Su still went straight to the hall in the prefect's house. The new satrap quickly stopped him: this is no good, this is no good!

;