Those poop and piss stories in English (not very smelly)

It’s been too cold outside these two weekends (yes, the local daytime temperature is about 15 degrees Celsius) and I don’t want to go out. I want to write something while I’m bored, but I can’t hold it in. I just happened to read some English learning articles when I was a junior high school student, and I just wanted to stop writing about these things in English. Generally, adding the word "English" to the title will increase the click-through rate, but there are many articles about how to learn by great people, and I am not very good at it, so let's see if anyone is interested in this. Shitting and peeing is not vulgar, it’s something everyone does and does, and it’s not just “Sh*t” and “Urine.” If there are any funny and interesting stories, you will know after reading them.

First of all, the "Sh*t" mentioned above, I believe everyone knows that it is a curse word. I remember that the only time I saw something that wasn't dirty was in the movie "Forest Gump" when the protagonist stepped on a piece of dog poop and said, "Shit happens." Shit). At that time, an old man who specialized in bumper stickers (the stickers on the rear bumpers) was asking him to come up with an interesting sentence. Later, someone added a chicken soup sentence at the end, and the combination was actually full of positive energy: < /p>

Shit happens, but life goes on.

This word is usually "beeped" when used on TV. Once it is quoted like this, it feels like there is no need for an asterisk. (Laughing).

However, if you want to mention this word in life and don’t want people to think that you are talking dirty, usually people will call it "S word", just like our "TMD". Same thing. This "S word" caused an embarrassing incident recently. One day, my daughter reported to me that my brother had said the 'S' word. This was something serious and I needed to correct him immediately. Asked my daughter what he said. She replied, "He said that person on TV was 'stupid'." Oh JK! "Three lines suddenly appeared on my face: Fortunately, I asked first, forgetting that children's standards are different from ours. Only then did I remember that I would be criticized by her if I occasionally use this adjective, and I have to add another one after it." just kidding" (her abbreviation of "JK") to show innocence.

In addition to using "sh*t", there is also a shit called "crap". This word is more civilized than the "'S' word" , used as an interjection like "Crap! I forgot my phone!" as an adjective. Of course, "crappy" is not a good thing, just crappy.

Oh, why are you talking about dirty words? Okay, let's talk about the most basic things. In fact, I have never tried this serious term called "bowel movement" (which proves how uneducated I am). Apart from checking with the doctor to fill in my physical condition, I only encountered it when I gave birth to a child for the first time.

At that time, I had no experience in giving birth. I had only read in books and TV that the mother was sweating profusely and screaming in pain as if she was killing a pig. The people next to her kept cheering her on, "Harder!" Use force! "And I had no idea how to use force. After half-body anesthesia with epidural, the doctor ordered me to start labor. A senior midwifery nurse guided me by my side: "Push like you are making a bowel movement!" "I was immediately shocked! It turns out that giving birth to a baby is the same as defecating... At this critical moment, my mind was so full of confusion that I couldn't remember the last time I went to the tub. What if? What should I do if I poop in front of a bunch of people? If the child suddenly falls into my poop when it is born, the scene is really exciting.

Anyway, what I can tell you is that when the child is held in front of me. There was no smell. As for what happened in the meantime, the doctor didn't tell me. I couldn't see it and didn't have the courage to ask, so I just let this page go.

The story just now is mainly about it. To illustrate how serious a statement "make a bowel movement" is.

If you are not studying medicine, are not going to the gastroenterologist, or are going to give birth to a baby, it is best to simply say "go to the restroom/bathroom" if you want to go to the bathroom. When people hear what you say, no one will ask or want to know whether you go inside to go to the large, medium or small size. The most they pay attention to is whether you call someone to help you check out or you just take the opportunity to sneak away.

For the general public, apart from this most polite word, it is "poop" or "poo" that even children like to use. I once attended a Baby Shower (foreigners don’t do full moon parties because they already had this party before giving birth), and there was a very funny game called “Name that poopy diaper.” The specific method of playing is to find several different brands of candy bars (chocolate candy bars), put them in several diapers, put them in the microwave for thirty or forty seconds and take them out, and then everyone can guess by inspecting the goods in various ways. If your nerves are not very fragile, this game is actually quite fun.

By the way, I almost forgot. I mentioned the big and small sizes above. In fact, there are similar terms in English, namely No.1 and No.2. Once I saw a car from a drainage company passing by on the road. An advertisement on the car said "We are No.1 in the No.2 business", which made me laugh out loud. Which one corresponds to which one? Let’s use our brains.

In addition to these, friends who have a strong interest in this aspect have also invented a thousand ways to talk about defecation. If you have time, you are welcome to observe.

In fact, "urine" or "urinate" are not often used in daily life (the "urinal" urinal in the men's restroom is more "commonly used", haha), unless you are a serious reader of the dictionary Living people or medical workers. But if you like to look through the dictionary, you should have seen or heard others mention the synonym of "Piss".

But what does it say in the English-English dictionary?

For a brief comparison, there is no mention of "Piss" in the English-English dictionary. This is not to say that the word has nothing to do with urine, but it cannot be used to replace or represent "urine". The more common use of this word is just to describe someone who is annoying. For example, He pisses me off means he pissed me off, so the translation of the second example sentence in Youdao becomes very funny. The first half of the sentence, "Pain in the butt/a**/back", is used to describe a person who hates him to death (the last word refers to the same place, guess the star word yourself).

Among the many synonyms explained in the English-English dictionary above, the word "pee" suitable for people of all ages can be regarded as the most direct. When I was pregnant, I had to have a urine test at every prenatal check-up. From a professional point of view, I haven’t heard the nurse sister say “empty your bladder” a few times. Most of the time, she said “give me some urine sample” or directly called me “Pee in a cup”.

When the child is born, "Pee" is still the first of the only three skills "Pee Poo Puke" in the newborn stage. When you are about to quit using diapers, you can be a little gentler and say "Use the potty". If the bed or pants are wet, explaining it as "wet the bed/pants" may help preserve the child's self-esteem a little. When I grow up, in addition to the above-mentioned "go to the restroom/bathroom", "No. 1", "Take care of business", and "Relieve yourself" are all very common expressions. My personal favorite is this one:

Yes, it’s “tinkle.” I think this onomatopoeia is cuter than our "Shush" and has a very girly feel. The little girl who loves to be clean is afraid of getting dirty and refuses to sit directly on the toilet board, so she resorts to the unique trick of sitting on an air chair to solve the problem. The visual sense and the word that originally means the sound of Ding Lingling cannot be more wonderful.

Remember not to confuse it with Tinker Bell from Peter Pan. If you call someone "Tinkle Bell", you may get beaten (cursed) to death.

When I mention the word "Fart", I immediately think of the fart gun invented by the deaf doctor in the animated movie "Despicle Me". Originally, the protagonist Gru asked him to make a Dart Gun (dart gun), but the doctor misunderstood him as a Fart Gun. But from the perspective of attack power, the Stinky Fart may not be worse than the dart gun.

However, given that any sound coming from the body is considered indecent, farting, a problem that does not require going to the toilet, has caused as many jokes and embarrassments as the stars in the sky throughout the ages. In view of this, I have always tried my best to restrain and abide by taboos, and generally will not mention them. If you encounter an absolutely necessary situation, use "pass gas".

It’s a pity that after pregnancy and childbirth, the right to privacy is automatically lost, and gradually one becomes accustomed to reporting physiological functions such as peeing and peeing to others. I remember that after I just gave birth to a child, the nurse would ask with great concern every time I did her ward rounds, "Did you pass gas today? You can't leave before having a bowel movement." So I worked hard all the time like never before, and finally met the target ahead of schedule. , was discharged honorably.

Okay, that’s it. Let’s add some related words.

Eye boogers:: eye boogers

Nose: booger

Ear wax: ear wax

Nasal mucus/phlegm/: mucus in the nose /throat

If you have seen something different from what I said above, it can only mean that I am shallow and vulgar. Finally, I offer a piece of advice as a conclusion: