Funny jokes about buying a house

Buying a house is a great joy, but there are also some jokes that often happen when buying a house. Below I have brought you some funny jokes related to buying a house. I hope you will like it.

The funny jokes about buying a house are so nonsensical that you will die laughing!

1. The slogan of a certain real estate project: " My mother said: If you buy the house here, I will marry you.” A teacher’s comment on the slogan was: “The only thing I can say back to her is: It’s your mother’s fault.”

2 , the total area of ??the intestinal tract is 200 square meters, our house is not as big as the place where shit lives, it is better to be shit, it is really worse than shit.

3. "Xiao Wang, I heard that you bought a house last month Yes, congratulations."

"Hey, it's not a happy event to spend all your parents' money for old age."

"Then your wife just gave birth to twins. What a happy event!"

Xiao Wang took a swig of Erguotou without saying a word.

"Could it be that both of them are boys?"

Xiao Wang remained silent, but two lines of hot tears were quietly shed.

The preference for sons over daughters, a problem that China has been unable to solve for thousands of years, has now been solved by real estate.

4. A Chinese old lady and an American old lady After their death, they met in heaven and talked to each other. The American old lady said that she bought a house when she was young and paid off the mortgage until she died. She spent her whole life paying off the debt, but she lived in the house all her life; the Chinese old lady said Tai said that she had wanted to own her own house all her life, so she had saved money all her life, but she just bought the house and died after living there for a day. What a pity.

5. Wife: You stay at home reading books and surfing the Internet all day, so you can’t go out and socialize?

Husband: You used to like me for being honest and honest. Didn’t you say that being a homebody is good? Okay?

Wife: I’m talking about the mansion man!

6. When a real estate project was launched, the real estate developer produced a large advertisement to attract the public. It read: No house, no wife. At the end of the year real estate industry association appraisal meeting, the real estate developer won the title of "The Most Honest Real Estate Developer".

7. A man with all his savings came to a residential sales center and wanted to buy a building. He asked the sales lady: "How much is your house price?" The sales lady said: "10,000 for the first floor, 11,000 for the second floor, 12,000 for the third floor, 13,000 for the fourth floor..." , he quickly interrupted the sales lady's introduction and said: "That's enough, that's enough. Your house is too high. If you build it underground, I can afford it."

8. Some girls have the same housing prices. When you look back, you will find that you made a mistake in not taking action at the time...

9. Annual income of more than 1 million amp ;mdash;amp;mdash;Buy a house wherever you like; annual income between 300,000 and 1 million;mdash;amp;mdash;Buy a house wherever you like in the city center; annual income between 150,000 and 300,000amp; mdash;amp;mdash;Most of the houses in the urban area of ??my hometown can be bought wherever I like; the annual income is less than 100,000amp;mdash;amp;mdash; Dig your own hole and bury them wherever you like!

10 , Garlic is really valuable, and mung beans are more expensive. If you are worried about housing prices, you can throw away your savings.

Driving jokes, humorous driving jokes

1. Self-denial

Truck driver: "People sometimes break their past promises. This may be a sign of growth. A manifestation of self-denial and rebirth is not a bad thing.

”

Salesperson: “What a fool, you can’t even pay for the car, and you’re still pretending, let’s see if I don’t break your legs!”

2. Where are the accessories?

When a truck driver drove through a mountain village, he asked the local residents: "Excuse me, where can I find truck parts here?"

"Go forward and pass the emergency. There is a canyon around the bend, and there are many below. "The resident looked at him and said leisurely.

3. Blind Date

Woman: "What kind of car did you drive here?"

Man: "I No car!"

Woman: "We don't even have a car. We are not suitable. Goodbye!"

Man: "My dad drove me here in a heavy truck!"

Female: "I was joking just now, haha, by the way, how many years has your dad been driving a heavy truck?"

Male: "I don't know, this is his first year as a driver with his boss!" ”

Woman: “Get out!”

4. Wife’s experience

On the streets of Paris, a moving truck splashed a Corsican man all over his body. Mud.

The Corsican shouted at the driver who got out of the truck, "That's outrageous! If this were the case in Corsica, the driver would get out of the truck immediately. He came down, apologized to others, took him to his home, washed his clothes, treated him to champagne, and kept him overnight. The next morning, he would be invited to breakfast and given money before sending him on his way. "Truck driver: "This is absolutely impossible!"

Corsican: "This is true!"

Truck driver: "Is this your personal experience?"

Corsican: “My wife experienced it. ”

5. Disadvantages of not installing a retarder

A truck of a certain brand filled with piglets that was not equipped with a retarder failed and was moving rapidly along the downhill road. There was a man chasing the car closely.

An old man passing by looked at it and said to the man chasing the truck: "Brother! Forget it, you can't catch up!"

"I have to catch up with it," the man gasped, "I am the driver of this car!"

6. Detour

Driver: Coach, The exam is tomorrow, I’m so nervous.

Coach: Don’t be nervous, just think about your money.

Driver: Why should you think about money?

Coach: Looking at those signs, you have to imagine them as police officers who come to collect or fine you, and you will bypass them.

7. The poor man's creed

Truck driver: “I like buying second-hand goods, especially because they have a sense of historical vicissitudes. The accumulation and accumulation of time make me feel their different charm. "

Dealer: "Speak humanly!"

Truck driver: "Poor. "

8. No money and no knowledge

A truck driver walked into a 4S shop and saw a very luxurious imported truck.

He said disdainfully The dealer said: "Anyone who drives this kind of car must have no knowledge in his belly!"

The dealer replied lightly: "Anyone who says this kind of thing must have no money in his pocket!"

9. You are the pig

Zhang San was driving on a mountain road. Just as he was enjoying the beautiful scenery leisurely, the driver of the oncoming truck suddenly rolled down the window and shouted: "Pig !"

The more Zhang San thought about it, the angrier he became. He also rolled down the window and cursed: "You are a fucking pig!"

As soon as he finished cursing, he ran into a group of passers-by. Pigs on the road.

10. Beware of those who come

On the expressway, there is a lot of traffic, one after another. There is a long blank space behind only one truck.

The patrol officer was very strange and hurriedly drove the police car to check. He saw a conspicuous large wooden sign hanging on the back of the truck, which read: This car has collided with other vehicles 20 times, and the score is: 17 wins. 2 draws, with only one slight loss. Please be careful if you come here!

Selection of funny jokes: Can you help me give birth to a puppy when you have time?

1. One day, I went to the night market and saw a ring. At the stall, the sign said, "Put on whatever you see, and give to whatever you catch!"

So I bought ten yuan and threw them all at the proprietress!

2. Wife: "I heard that my beautiful wife gave birth to a handsome son, and my handsome husband gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Husband, we..."

Husband: "Let's adopt one..."

3. One day the teacher educated the students: Do you know the dangers of talking on the phone while charging? When charging and calling others for two consecutive hours, guess what happened?

Xiao Ming: Shut down . . . Machine. . . .

4. Xiao Wu came to the unit with his head wrapped in gauze. Everyone was curious and asked him how he did it. Xiao Liu said: "Last night, he was tinkering with fireworks with a cigarette in his mouth, and accidentally The fireworks exploded in the house!"

"Did you explode like this?" everyone asked.

"No." Xiao Wu replied depressedly, "My wife beat me."

5. What is the highest level of trust you have in a person?

"Lao Wang, I'm not here these days, please take care of my girlfriend."

6. I was pregnant with my second child, and my son lay on my belly and asked: Mom, after you give birth to this baby , can you help me give birth to a puppy when you have time?

7. I had a bad gastrointestinal problem and went to the hospital to order a stool test. When I went to the queue window to wait for the test, I saw that the people in front of me were all using cotton swabs. A little test, so I walked out dejectedly holding the half kilogram of stool in my hand.

8. My girlfriend and I went swimming yesterday, and we were the only two people in the pool. Suddenly I drowned. Although the water was only as deep as my hair, I still drowned. Just when I was unable to jump up to breathe air and was about to die, she slowly crawled out of the swimming pool. So I was rescued~

9. I remember when I was in college, one time on the way back to the dormitory, I saw a girl standing in the corner with a sad face. I walked over and asked her what was wrong, and she said shyly: "Would you like to lend me your shoulder?" I replied decisively: "I do. !" A smile broke out on the girl's face, and then she stepped on my shoulder and went out to buy delicious food.

10. Before class, several students wanted to give the new teacher some trouble. During class, Student A kept feeling nauseous. The teacher saw it but didn't care about him. When the teacher turned around to write on the blackboard, Student B immediately poured a box of eight-treasure porridge on the ground. When the teacher turned around, he saw the disgusting classmate at his feet and thought it was him who vomited. At this time, classmate C was eating on the ground with chopsticks. While eating, he said, "Here we go, this guy also ate peanuts for lunch!" The teacher ran out. . . . .

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