Ask for a cold joke, an embarrassing slip of the tongue, etc.

35 slip of the tongue 1 5 channel Duan Xuan said to the ball: "I really sweated for them!" When crossing the street the day before yesterday, BF rushed forward without looking at the light. I thought it was a red light, so I reached for him and shouted "red heart! ! "There are too many tractors ... 3 Our teacher:" I never say twice, ah, twice. " Customer Service: Which song do you want? Netizen: I want "I really love you" sung by Huang Jiagou. Customer Service: After staying up late one day, I went to the school cafeteria, pointed to buns and said, three buns, packed and downloaded ... Six students were outstanding people, and even died at the teacher's house to make up lessons for Xiong 7 Primary School. A circle of children, I recruited mosquitoes and was stung by a huge bag. The teacher took the wind oil essence and asked me, "Who bit you?" I replied, "Mosquito" ... After repeating the question and answer three times, the teacher suddenly said, "Er ... I want to ask who the mosquito bit ..." 8 I originally wanted to invite everyone to eat peaches, but I happened to have no money, so I went to Cary to withdraw money. To the reception desk, "please, two jins of peaches ~ ~! ! "She accompanied me ~ ~ ~ 9. I remember that I just went to high school and went to the cafeteria for breakfast in the morning. I should have said "Give me two steamed buns" and later said "Give me a steamed bun, and ..." The chef asked me what else I had, and I added, "There is another steamed bun." At that time, Khan was embarrassed. Going out with him, I drove to the crossroads and asked him how to get there. He pointed to the left and said, turn right! ! ! Turn right! ! ! ! ! Better late than never, yellowbird is at the back ... 12 to go to the movies with friends, and blurted out when buying tickets: 5 tickets. My friend quickly pulled me and said, there are only four of us. I quickly said to the conductor: Wrong, wrong, not four, but five. My friends were stunned, so I quickly took me aside and told people that it was four. Shameless, I graduated from primary school. . . . . . 13 The flood is like a bunch of wild horses with proctoptosis ... 14 Once in the Internet cafe CS, I wanted the stationmaster to bring me a bottle of green tea, but I was hit on the head by AK, and casually shouted "stationmaster, get me m16 ..."15 We talked together and said how to spend money. I want to buy a carved coat 16. Friends complain that the cost of buying clothes is too high recently. Others said they could buy it in XX. He replied that XX is expensive, but it's not beautiful. The man said it was not expensive. Look, my skirt is only 25. Very nice. Without thinking, he complimented: You are really like a star. You wear 250 clothes. 17 wanted to buy a tomato-flavored farmer's orchard, and the result said, boss, give me a bottle of tomato orchard. 18 when I was a child, I remember coming home from an English class. My mother told me to brush up quickly and said, Daughter! This research must take advantage of the fire to be effective! I've thought about it for a long time. What she means is strike while the iron is hot. 19 We are all grasshoppers tied to the same boat. I ate what my mother bought for my grandfather and was scolded. I replied: I told you that I was filial to my grandfather, and I thought it was filial to me ... 2 1 The head teacher in junior high school is very fierce, and B and D can't be distinguished. As soon as I finished the problem, I got it right. The head teacher said: The answer to the following question is "B(D)". A classmate whispered, Is it B or D? The class teacher is angry: B(D) of ABCD! ! ! The whole class is sweating. 22 roommate's classic slip of the tongue: I cooked noodles when I washed my hair, and when you came back, my head and noodles were cooked together ... anxious ... 23 When we organized blood donation at school, we were lying side by side in a row of reclining chairs for blood donation. One of the boys began to donate blood smoothly, but the blood began to flow back into the blood vessels from the blood bag in the middle, so the doctor began to adjust the angle of the recliner for him and let his hands exert their strength. The doctor adjusted it for him and said, "Push, push, push, and it will come out soon ~ ~" Haha, a group of us laughed on the spot. The boy looks innocent and depressed. My roommate is holding a CD in his hand: Do you want to watch Hamlet and the Order of the Phoenix? A dead camel is bigger than a horse. The teacher lamented that the students didn't do well in the exam in class and said sadly, "You just don't listen to me." When I came back from kindergarten at the age of 26, I learned a newspaper song to show my mother. "Today's porridge is really good. Seven coppers can buy two cents. " My mother thinks this porridge is quite expensive. Wife: You have never eaten pork, but you always see pigs run away. Me: I didn't run. 28 once ran to the east gate of the school to eat. Walking into a noodle restaurant, there are many kinds of soups. I looked at it, and it was interesting. I pointed to the menu and said to my boss, boss, I want this crow soup! The people who went with me and the boss burst into laughter ~ ~ ~ It turned out to be black chicken soup ~ ~ 29 I recited the text: The Red Army is not afraid of the expedition, and the people on the Long March haven't returned it yet ... 30 When I just gave birth to the baby, I was still in the hospital, looking at the baby in the crib and saying with joy, "Come on, sister hug!" At that time, I was not used to being a mother! The whole ward laughed as a result! In a physics exercise class in 3 1 high school, the teacher said happily, "the conditions given by the topic are changing, but they are all the same." You see, I just changed a little, and now I have to change it! " Everyone bowed their heads silently ... 32 When my son was just born for a few months, I was always eager to hear him call "Dad", so I always took pains to teach him: "Call Dad, call Dad ..." My wife said, "Silly, he is still young, so we haven't met now." Then I went to the bathroom. I am still trying to teach. After a while, my wife came out of the bathroom and saw that I was still lying in bed. She gently shouted to her son, "Dad, dad, dad. . . . . . "My wife immediately smiled and said," Who is whose father? Ha ha. . . . . . "I am so embarrassed. I bought my mother a T-shirt that I love China the other day. My mother was very happy and said excitedly, "Let's wear it together today ~ (Please be cool … embarrassed) 34 On a Sunday at the end of last century, four of our good friends went to Xiangshan, which was very crowded and finally found a quiet place. I took out my broken camera and debugged it. My girlfriend A ran excitedly: "Whose camera? Take a picture of me! "I was distracted to hear" ~ what camera ~ ",so Chen Chang proudly replied loudly:" It's a fool's! ..... "As a result, the three of them all smiled brightly in the photo of 555555. 35. A colleague went to listen to the report of the disaster model and came back to describe how touching the atmosphere was: "... how many people cried and peed with their noses% # # @ ..." Quack doctors commit crimes. ...