How to treat a mother-in-law who loves to speak ill of her daughter-in-law? Her mother-in-law always speaks ill of me.

Hello, Sister Sa, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been bad since ancient times, and I have been recruited. Before giving birth, my mother-in-law and I had a very good relationship. Everyone said that I was her daughter, and after giving birth, I continued to make trouble because of the problem of bringing a baby.

My daughter is allergic to milk and eggs. When she was less than one year old, she vomited at the touch and broke out in a rash. When she touches them after one year old, she will have frequent diarrhea. I pay more attention to her diet. I bought her a lot of baby snacks that she could eat, such as rice cakes, fruit purees, shrimp slices, sesame seaweed and so on. Now she is one year and four months old. My mother-in-law always lets her eat junk snacks behind my back. Every time I find out, she doesn't listen or listen to advice. Milk

Over time, I couldn't hold back several quarrels. I didn't expect the quarrel to intensify. Now she often speaks ill of me to her seven aunts and eight aunts. Once she said publicly in the group that I heard her. I confronted her, but she denied it. I was so angry that I went back to my mother's house for three or four months. I was away from my mother's house 170km, not far but not far. My husband's family is a foreigner and has no friends.

My mother-in-law calls my daughter's baby every day. She really loved her grandson before, but now she is too resistant to me and ignores my daughter. It's been almost two years since I resigned, and I really want to go out to work. Now the baby can eat, but what if no one looks at her? If she had followed my advice a little, it wouldn't have happened.

My husband doesn't care about our relationship, his mother doesn't listen to him at all, and often says I'm wrong. Alas, it's a pity to have a baby. I have a wish that a family of three go to the park to take a photo, which has not come true so far. It's hard to be alone now, Sister Sa, what should I do?

Sister sa replied

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been an eternal problem since ancient times. Many people dream of a "mother-in-law" relationship, but how can two people who are not biological mothers and daughters be exactly like their own mothers and daughters?

So realize this first and don't expect too much. Say you are like a daughter, just like we call mom. If there is a conflict between your real mother-in-law and your biological mother, who do you think you will go to first?

Your own mother can make up in a minute after a big fight. Why not have a fight with your mother-in-law?

Your mother-in-law, she can have a big fight with her daughter, and her daughter will forget when she grimaces. Can you forget?

So, if the mother and daughter are the same, then talk it over and be happy. There must be a necessary distance and the necessary rules must be observed.

I think the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law should be like cooperation. As close as mother and daughter? Yes, very little, or very little. For the vast majority of people, seemingly calm, mutual help and mutual benefit are very successful.

However, this cooperative relationship must also have principles and bottom lines. It's best to understand each other, but it's serious if one party is stubborn, for example, when it comes to children's health problems.

That's why I want to say that you did the right thing with food allergies. Moreover, if I were you, I would lose my temper at the first time, and I wouldn't have to wait many times until I knew that my child was allergic to this food and still didn't pay attention to it and didn't follow the doctor's advice.

You should make it clear to her from the beginning, including all the people in the family, how to do this thing, because it may cause allergies, and when it is hard, it must be hard, otherwise people who say it is soft will not agree. Who do you want to cry to if your child is allergic to severe anaphylactic shock or even life-threatening?

Take out the doctor's diagnosis, find some related articles on the internet and send them, but don't listen? Then don't see my children. Ignore them. Can children grow up without personal care?

Don't be afraid of others speaking ill of you. In this world, no one is RMB, and it is impossible to satisfy everyone. No matter how beautiful and excellent a person is, someone is scolding you behind his back. I'm not saying you can't hear it in front. When it comes to you, if you feel wrong, then go back one by one. She won't admit it, but she always knows it.

Finally, I want to say that your husband is also a reason for your current situation. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law deteriorated, and the man was in the middle. Even the mud is not good, so leave it alone. This is also an escape behavior.

Give you some advice:

First: no matter how good a mother-in-law is, she is not her own mother, so don't measure and demand her mother-in-law by her own mother-in-law standards at any time. You are not related by blood, as long as you live in harmony with each other.

Second: if you have a big heart, you must be big. As long as a few ugly words are not too ugly and don't stick to your body, you have said it before. Turn the page when it's time to turn it. You've confronted her anyway.

Just like you come to talk to Sister Sa, women are wronged and always want to talk to someone. If they say it, they will say it. If they have, they will change it, and then they will be encouraged. This irrelevant relationship between seven aunts and eight aunts doesn't matter what you do!

But! note:

You should have some principles, especially for children's health and diseases, which you should be hard, because that is your child. When it's time to follow the doctor's advice, you must follow it. This is not negotiable! Because this inappropriate love is actually equal to injury.

Third, don't blame Sister Sa, a mother-in-law who doesn't listen to doctor's advice at all. Do you believe that she will help you look after the children? You know she is such a person, and you want her to babysit for you?

If the economy permits, please hire a nanny and go to work by yourself. If the husband disagrees with this, he doesn't agree. Let him try to take care of the children and see if it is as easy as touching them up and down.

If you want others to pay you, you have to put up with their shortcomings. Don't rely on others if you want to stand up straight and stay ahead. Your mother-in-law has been used to this character for decades, and it should not change for a while.

Generally speaking, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at home can not listen, and the son can listen. For example, in my family, I never have to do anything. Before I could speak, my husband ran faster than me and tried to get rid of his mother. Since your old lady doesn't even listen to her son, I think it's better to look beautiful from a distance.

Or, when you are strong, when you have to rely on others, let yourself bow when it is time to bow, coax the elderly to be happy, and come back to help you look after the children. But if you invite him back, she will give you a hard time, and you can't help talking about it. It's contradictory when you turn around. Do you think you're making trouble for yourself?