Zhao Benshan's classic funny sketch lines

Zhao Benshan's classic funny sketch lines

1, kill the panda, I am a national treasure!

2. Comrades: Don't speculate in stocks. It's too risky Tofu is the safest! Tofu is dry and hard, tofu brain is thin, tofu skin is thin, soybean milk is useless, and stinky tofu stinks! Don't lose!

3, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

4. What touched my dad the most: "Study hard, son. Dad used to play mahjong 10 yuan, and now he plays mahjong 10 yuan to learn from you. "

If you fall, get up and cry again.

20xx is so abnormal, everything is abnormal! At this critical moment, China Men's Football Team stepped forward and proved to the world that China Men's Football Team is still normal!

7, low-key! It's the best b show! !

8. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium and burn them all to ashes. You have a pile, I have a pile, no one knows who it is, and they all have to be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer.

9. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

10, "love" is a very strong word. The upper part of it is taken from the "Metamorphosis" in Metamorphosis, and the lower part is taken from the "state" in Metamorphosis.

1 1, sorry to make you laugh.

12, riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest; Wings are not necessarily angels, but sometimes birds.

13, I can resist anything but temptation. ......

14. If I win10 million, I will buy 30 houses and rent them to others, and collect the rent once a day. Wow, it's full

15, I not only have a car, but also work by myself. ......

16, even a piece of shit, met dung beetles one day. So you don't have to worry too much about yourself today.

17, I lit a cigarette, but I was lonely. ......

18, the real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to eat in one place all your life, but to eat everywhere all your life.

19, it's not that you don't laugh, you lose your powder when you laugh!

I am in a bad mood today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I've had enough.

2 1, people are not smart and bald like others.

22. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in too many chefs for more than 20 years!

23. If you can't tie my heart, don't call me playboy!

24. The feeling of waiting for the aftershock is like that of a first-love girl and other lovers, fearing that he will not come and that he will mess around.

25, Chopin of Niu B, can't play Lao Tzu's sadness!

26, you will never see my loneliest time, because when I can't see you, it is my loneliest time!

Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

28. The story of the stone tells us that everything we really love is ultimately scattered, and everything we mix and match is ultimately reunited.

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

30, love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident, which comes first!

3 1, I never hold grudges. I usually report it on the spot.

32. How long is a minute? It depends on whether you are squatting in the toilet or waiting outside. ......

33. Don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do!

34. People never know who inadvertently said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.

35. Even believe that there is a lie hidden in the middle!

I allow you to come into my world, but I will never allow you to walk around in my world.

37. I like you so much that you will die if you like me?

38. If you see a shadow in front, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind!

39. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

40. If you choose to look up at others at 45, don't blame others for looking down at you at 135.

4 1. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth. How much is true? !

42. You can see the words I typed on the screen, but you can't see the tears I dropped on the keyboard!

43. Q: What do you like about me? A: I like you to stay away from me!

44. The physical education teacher in junior high school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt to my class again will be punished for handstand.

45, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't go, I will go.

46. Teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer I am to you, the farther I am from Buddha. ......

47. Zhuge Liang never took a single soldier before he came out of the mountain! Why do I need work experience?

48. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.

49. Cherish your life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.

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