If anyone has a good joke, it should be meaningful. Cold ones are best~

Please ask,

Wish LZO(∩_∩)O~~

There was a polar bear and a penguin playing together, and the penguin put all After plucking out the hairs on his body one by one, he said to the polar bear: "It's so cold!"

After hearing this, the polar bear also pulled out the hairs on his body one by one. , turned to Penguin and said: "It's really cold!"

42. There is a hide-and-seek club, and their leader has not been found yet...

43. Xiaohong Question: When stirring coffee, do you use your right hand or your left hand?

Xiaomei said: Right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are so awesome. You are not afraid of being burned, like me. Use a spoon.

44. Do you know why penguins live in Antarctica?

Because it was cold there...

45. There was no business at a snack bar selling dumplings,

So she went to ask her master what to do. ,

The master said: You have to find a fresh corpse, wrap its meat into dumplings,

and then sell it. Then the business will be very good, but he told them People must not eat this kind of dumplings, otherwise terrible things will happen.

The boss tried it and the effect was really good,

so she went to look for the body again.

The next day her son wanted to bring a lunch box,

but he couldn't find it, so he went to the refrigerator to look for it,

and found a lunch box. He thought it was his and took it away.

Unexpectedly, the box contained leftover dumplings sold by his father.

He opened it at noon and took a look.

Why did the number of dumplings in the morning turn out to be 5 when there were 10 dumplings in the morning?

He tried closing the lid again and then opening it again, and there were 2 dumplings again!

Do you know why?

.

.

.

.

.

.

. p>

.

.

Because the dumplings are stuck to the lid.

46. A lumberjack applied for a job

Foreman: Go try the forest in front... see how many trees you can saw in one minute...

A minute passed...

Foreman: Wow... 20 trees in one minute... That's amazing... Where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara Forest... …

Foreman: Never heard of it...I have only heard of the Sahara Desert...

Worker: Yes...I changed my name later!< /p>

47. Wife: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Husband: I am so blind that I will only marry you if I step on shit.

Shit: I’m so unlucky! As I lay there, I was stepped on by both of you...

48. Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who made a private vow for life. But the boy needed to serve in the military, so he made a vow with the girl and gave her a life. He gave me a diamond ring and promised to meet the girl three years later. Then, I would use that ring as a wedding ring.

After three years, the boy heard the news of the woman's marriage on the boat returning home. He was so sad that he threw the diamond ring into the sea in despair. Three days later, the boat docked. The boy went to a small restaurant on the street to eat. He was served a fish. He picked up the fish and took a bite. He bit something hard and spit it out. Guess what he saw

Fish bones!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

51. Once upon a time, there was a horse! It fell into the sea while running.

So, it turned into a "seahorse"!

Another horse friend of this horse went to find the horse that fell into the sea, but ended up falling into the river. Later, he became a "hippopotamus".

The third horse is a white horse. In order to find two missing friends, it came to the city with chaotic traffic.

It was run over by several cars in succession, causing several black stripes to appear on its body.

As a result, it turned into a "zebra"!

In order to find the companions of the first three, the fourth horse came to a factory one day and was transformed into an "iron horse".

But later, those horses still couldn't escape the fate of being eaten, and they were all turned into "sand horses". The ravages reached all the horses, and no one was spared. It became a horseless world...

Then, a group of people couldn't help but say after seeing this joke: "It's so cold."

Finally, in order to commemorate this joke, someone compiled it into a lesson. We called it "Marseille Lesson"!

52. One day, Mung Bean broke up with his girlfriend. ．

He kept crying and crying. ． ． ．

I was very sad and kept crying. ． ．

Results. ． ．

He. ． ．

Fa. ． ．

Bud. ． ．

Yes. ． ．

53. One day, a black poop saw a white poop.

The black poop asked: Why are you so white and beautiful?

Bai Shi was very angry after hearing this!

He said: I am not a poop! I am ice cream!!!

54. A cat discovered a mouse...

So a hungry tiger rushed towards the mouse to eat him

But then the cat was eaten by this mouse...

Why

Because

The tiger and the mouse were stupid and couldn't tell the difference

55. A software company was recruiting

On this day, a dog came to apply for a job. The supervisor felt very depressed and wanted to drive the dog out. The dog took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote a few words neatly: Please don't discriminate against animals.

The steward knew that this was no ordinary dog, and out of curiosity, he decided to give it a try.

The general manager came up with the application conditions, which read: 1. Must be able to type. 2. Must be able to program. 3. Proficient in at least one foreign language.

So the dog came to the computer, typed an article very skillfully, and wrote a very complicated program. Then he came to the supervisor and said to the supervisor: Meow! !

56. The toothpaste girl is always in a hurry

All of a sudden she is dating the soft-bristle toothbrush guy

Then she is dating the electric toothbrush guy

A new neighbor came today

Toothpaste girl: "Wow, you are so tall and stylish~ What is your name~ Come on a date with me~"

The new neighbor is cool Cool said: "No! Because I am a comb~"

57. One day the animals smelled a bad smell in front of Guan Gong Temple.

The snake said: "I am too young to fart such a smelly thing. It must be a cow."

The cow said: "I am a grass-eater and would not fart such a smelly thing." "

The pig said: "Those who fart will definitely blush."

Suddenly Guan Gong rushed out, knocked the pig away and said: "How many times have I told you, I am blushing." "Born."

60. Xiao Ming owed 200,000 to the underground bank.

Xiao Ming begged him to give in for a few more days.

The banker said: " You must return it tomorrow, otherwise..., chop off 2 fingers; the day after tomorrow..., chop 4 fingers; and on the third day..."

Xiao Ming: "Don't you need to return it?"< /p>

The banker: "NO, then you will become Tinker Bell."

62. The story happened in China a long time ago,

Okay After playing the guessing game with scissors, rock and paper all afternoon

we went home together and walked...

Stone noticed an oil lamp dropped on the roadside, which looked like a The Latin magic lamp

He picked it up curiously and brushed off the dust

Suddenly white smoke came out of the bottle of the magic lamp

A... divine dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke...

But the divine dragon was dry and a little malnourished

He spoke: "Who let me out?" Powerless

The stone said: It was me who let you out

Shenlong: "Oh...ahem...Then I can give you a wish..."

< p>Shitou: "Ah...it's only one, isn't there three?"

Shenlong: "I'm sorry...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong...if you don't want to, just pull me down..."

Shitou: "Okay...then...can you make the three of us adults? We are tired of playing guessing games every day."

"

Shenlong: "Oh...I'll give it a try...but maybe only one can succeed...because I'm a half-hearted Shenlong..."

Shenlong coughed a few times, and then he The three of them spat on their bodies

The three of them were gradually shrouded in white smoke, and the dragon gradually disappeared in the Three-Character Sutra

When the white smoke dissipated...< /p>

Stone is still rock, scissors are still scissors, only cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into a human being!

When one family is happy and two are sad,

Someone happened to be passing by and saw this scene, so he recorded it.

This person was Mencius.

He wrote:< /p>

……………………

63. An elderly member of the family passed away.

Because a public sacrifice was required, the body was frozen in ice.

The body was not invited out until the public memorial was held.

< p>It happened to be very hot at that time,

There were thawing water droplets appearing on the body.

The little grandson saw it nearby and shouted nervously:

p>

"Grandma, grandma... Grandpa is sweating..."

Grandma replied:

"Shh... Grandpa died for the first time, so he was very nervous!" ”

64. A man met God one day..

God suddenly became kind and planned to give the man a wish…

God asked…

p>

Do you have any wishes...

The man thought about it...

I heard that cats have 9 lives...

Then please Give me 9 lives...

God said...

Your wish comes true...

One day, that person was bored...< /p>

I want to just die...

I have 9 lives anyway

Just lie on the railroad tracks...

The result is one A train passed by...

The man was still dead...

Why is this?

Because that train has 10 carriages...

65. Xiaoxue asked her dad: "Dad, are there any books that are better than KB?"

"Yes, of course there is."

Dad said: "There is a book by your father and I still think it is KB after reading it for more than 20 years."

"Huh? No. Right? Which book can you read for more than 20 years and still feel KB?"

"Marriage Certificate."

66. There was a lady who was driving halfway. Encountered a red light.

The traffic police on the side saw her watching the red light change to green, and the green light to red...

Still parked in the middle of the road, motionless.

So the traffic police walked over and asked the lady: "What's wrong? Is there no color you like?"

68. Two foreigners went shopping at Carrefour. When they checked out, The clerk asked: "Can you speak chinese?"

The two foreigners replied in Mandarin: "If you speak slower, we can understand you!"

The clerk said: "Can...you...speak...chinese?"

69. One night...

Xiao Ming couldn't sleep and decided to go for a walk...

He just Walking along the highway near his home...

Unfortunately, he ran into a police inspection...

Xiao Ming was called over for questioning.

The police asked Xiao Ming why he walked on the highway, and after asking, handed him a ticket...

It read

1. Not wearing a seat belt< /p>

2. Driving without a license

3. The speed does not exceed 60/h

70. Beautiful girls must see it~~~~

Coffee weight loss method:

Ingredients:

One hundred grams of coffee beans (raw)

500 cc of water...

Method:

p>

1. Drink 500cc of water.

2. Put the coffee beans...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Throw it on the ground and pick it up one by one.

Three times a day, repeat for a month...

71. Life is like stool, once it is flushed away, it will never come back.

Life is like poop, it always looks the same no matter how you poop, but it is different every time...

Life is like poop, sometimes it feels good to poop, sometimes it doesn’t. The facial features are tangled!

Life is like poop, you never know what will come out...

Life is like poop, you have to plant it first if you want the result to come out.

Life is like poop, often after working hard for a long time, only a few farts come out...

Life is like poop, no matter how beautifully decorated it is, its essence is still the same...

Life is like shit, you can only face it silently and bravely.

So, as everyone often says -

"You go eat shit!"

In fact, its original meaning is "You have to seriously integrate own life. 』

72. A guy went to the hospital for a checkup and had many tests done.

The doctor said: There is good news and bad news! After reading your test results, I discovered that you have potential homosexual tendencies! ! And it’s hard to cure!

This guy said: Oh my God! What about the good news?

The doctor said shyly: I found you quite cute~~~~~~~~

73. One day, the physics teacher of a certain class at a girls’ middle school called in sick.

The 40 female students were all looking forward to who would teach the class.

When it came to the physics class, it turned out to be a handsome male teacher.

A female classmate He said provocatively: Teacher, can we skip class and play some exciting games?

The male teacher was silent for a while and said:

Okay~~

Everyone, put your textbooks away, now is the test!

74. One day, the cockroach sister came back crying...

The cockroach father asked: "What happened to my daughter?"

The cockroach sister said: " Dad! Why do others say I’m a pest! Woohoo...”

At this time, the cockroach brother also came back, and he said happily:

“Dad! This For the first time in my life, someone greeted me warmly~"

Dad Cockroach asked: "Really? What did they say?"

Brother Cockroach: I just went out and they looked When I get there, I say:

"Hi!~~~~~~worm~"

75. Tang Monk: We should find a shortcut to learn scriptures this time!

Wukong: Flying is faster than riding a horse!!

Bajie: Shenliu is faster!!!

Sha Monk took out a gun: I heard This thing will send people to the West immediately...

76. A hunter went hunting with his hunting dogs. He wandered in the woods for a whole day without finding any prey.

It was getting dark, but he was unwilling to keep riding in the woods.

The horse suddenly said: 'You don't even let me rest, you want to tire me to death! ? '

The hunter was startled when he heard it. He immediately rolled off his horse, pulled the hunting dog and ran away.

When he ran to a big tree to catch his breath,

The dog patted his chest and said to him:

'It scares me to death that the horse can actually talk! '

So the hunter was frightened to death on the spot.........

77. A candy, walking in the North Pole, felt that he was so cold——-so he Turned into rock candy!!!

78. A cabbage took off its clothes while walking, and finally it disappeared...

79. A bear came over and was prepared. Come (bear comes)

The eleventh book is incredible (book11)

The sheep stopped breathing and elated (the sheep did not exhale)

80. A black The cat rescued a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat later?

It said: Take a look~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

81. Who among the wolf, tiger and lion will definitely be eliminated when playing the game? Wolf

Because: Momotaro (eliminating the wolf)

82. How to make drinks Become a bigger cup?

Recite the Great Compassion Mantra

83. A thief went to someone else's house to steal something. When he entered the house, he saw no one in the house, but he was very poor, so he left 200 yuan and left. ………

84. A condom felt itchy, so I scratched it...guess what happened?

It caused death... ….

85. Rogue + Rogue =?

= Rogue Rabbit (TWO)————–Xiaobai+Xiaobai==Little White Rabbit

86. I bought a TV set produced by China Unicom. I kept trying to select channels, but there was no signal. Then the TV said: The TV you dialed is not in the service area. Please dial again later...

87. One day I fell down with a match and broke my head, so I went to the hospital to bandage it, but when it came out, it turned into a cotton swab!!!

88. Pizza The leaning tower is about to fall. Someone goes to help the tower. Who is he?

John (because of John Travolta)

89. Once upon a time, there was a man who liked to make clay sculptures. One day, on a whim, he grabbed a piece of clay and kneaded it, and finally he made a clay figurine. , but the clay figurine was bare and unsightly, he thought and thought. Suddenly he came up with a good idea and made the hair and beard of the clay figurine out of grass. He was very satisfied with his work, so he gave it a name. My name is Uncle Caoni……………….

90. A classmate of mine from Xiamen University went out once and was also caught by the enemy! The enemy also tied him to a telephone pole and said: "Back then, when we asked a man which school he was from, he yelled that he was from TV University, and then we electrocuted him to death - if you didn't say it, you would suffer the same fate. !" My classmate said: I am from Xiamen University...

98. The stewardess walked towards the man who was protesting loudly,

The man shouted: "I want to challenge this airline. The company protested!

I sit in the same seat every time I fly, and there are no movies or curtains!”

The stewardess said: “ Forget it~ Captain, stop making trouble!"

106. On this holy day of Valentine's Day, I would like to spend my own money to sing a song to express my blessings to all lovers, that is - — "Happy Breakup" by Liang Jingru!!!

107. Before the final exam, I advise everyone not to watch unlucky movies, such as "Raise the Red Lantern"…… .

111. A man went to the river to fish...

First he pierced a leaf, but no fish took the bait for a long time. He changed it to a piece of bread, and again no fish took the bait for a long time. ~

He had no choice but to change to earthworms~ Still no fish took the bait for a long time~~

In anger, he took out 100rmb~~ and threw it into the water~~

"tnnd~~What do you want to eat! Buy it yourself!!!"

112. One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly, a Daiben passed by him. When it passed by him, the driver shouted to him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daiben?" After that, " "Whoosh!" It soared far away.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the accelerator to catch up.

As soon as he was about to catch up, the driver stuck out his head and shouted at him:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Daben?" Then, "whoosh" disappeared again. .

"Damn, what the hell!" After scolding Mr. Wang, he felt a little better and stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw the Mercedes-Benz overturned on the side of the road. He was curious and drove closer slowly.

The driver was pinned under the car and said feebly:

"Brother, have you ever driven a Mercedes-Benz? Do you know where its brakes are?"

113. I once suffered from schizophrenia, but now we have recovered~~~~~~~~

114. An international student was taking the driving license test in the United States. The road sign in front of him told him to turn left. Not sure, I asked the examiner:

“turn left?”

Answer: “right”

So... I failed..

< p>115. One day Mung Bean committed suicide by jumping off the 5th floor. He bled a lot and turned into a red bean. It kept bleeding and turned into a soybean. The wound became scarred and finally turned into a black bean.

116. Xiao Ming had his hair cut, and when he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved and ran outside to cry. As he cried, he flew up...

117. There was a man who looked like an onion, and he cried as he walked...

118. Little One day the penguin asked his grandma, "Grandma, grandma, am I a penguin?" "Yes, of course you are a penguin." The little penguin asked his father again, "Dad, daddy, am I a penguin?" Yes, you are a penguin, what’s wrong?” “But, why do I feel so cold?”

119. A pair of corns fell in love...

So they decided to get married. …

On the wedding day…

One corn couldn’t find another corn…

This corn asked the popcorn next to him: Have you seen our home? Is there any corn?

Popcorn: Honey, is she wearing a wedding dress...

120. In music class, the teacher played a piece by Beethoven

Xiao Ming asked Xiao Hua: "Do you know music?"

Xiao Hua: "Yes"

Xiao Ming: "Then do you know what the teacher is playing?"< /p>

Xiaohua: "Piano."

121. Two people fell into a trap. The dead are called dead people, and what are the living people called?

A : Call for help!

122. Someone looked like a sweet potato and fell while walking...

123. Question: What are you afraid of with cloth and paper?

Answer: Cloth is afraid of ten thousand, paper is afraid of nothing.

Reason: Don’t be afraid of ten thousand (cloth), just be afraid of something unexpected (paper).

124. One day, my mother-in-law was riding in a car...

Halfway through the ride, my mother-in-law didn’t know the road...

My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said: This is where?

Driver: This is my butt...

126. The host asked: Can cats climb trees? Eagle's quick answer: Yes! Moderator: Give an example! The eagle was in tears: That year, when I was asleep, the cat climbed up the tree...and then there were owls...

127. Two dung beetles discussed the welfare lottery. A said: I want to win the jackpot. Buy all the toilets within a 50-mile radius and eat enough every day! B said: You are too vulgar! If I win the jackpot, I will take care of a living person and eat fresh food every day!

129. Teacher: "You are finally here! Why didn't you come to class yesterday?"

Student: "Because...because, my mother fell down the stairs..."< /p>

Teacher: "Oh! I see, mom was injured, so you didn't come.

"

Student: "No...my dad was injured..."

Teacher: "Why did your dad get hurt when your mom fell down the stairs?" "

Student: "Because...my dad has a woman outside..."

Teacher: "What?" ..What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs? ”

Student: “Because they were fighting...my mother fell and it was fine, but my father was injured by my mother.” ”

Teacher: “Oh... So you didn’t come to class because you sent your father to the hospital? ”

Student: “No...it was a woman outside who sent my dad there.” ”

Teacher: “Then why didn’t you come to class?” "

Student: "Because I overslept..."

Teacher: "What does that have to do with your mother falling down the stairs!" ? "

Student: "No, I...I just mentioned it by the way..." Share it with your friends: iTieba, Sina Weibo, Tencent Weibo, QQ Space, Renren, Douban, MSN

It helped me

200. The principal and the English teacher visited a middle school in France. The principal spoke in the auditorium and the English teacher translated.

Principal: "Dear teachers. , classmates! "

English teacher: "ladies and gentlemen! "

Principal: "Ladies and gentlemen! "

English teacher-_-! thought for a moment and said: "Good morning! "

Principal: "Good morning! "

English teacher: ... ==" Khan

2. He said that there was a polar bear. Because the snow was so dazzling, he had to wear sunglasses to see, but he couldn't find it. I couldn't find the sunglasses, so I closed my eyes and crawled around on the ground to look for them. I crawled and crawled until my hands and feet were dirty before I found the sunglasses. I put on my sunglasses and looked in the mirror, and then I realized: Oh, it turns out I am a panda

3. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When it got bored, it started to pluck out its hair. Playing with one stick, two sticks, three sticks, and finally there was no one left, and then he died of the cold.

4. Once upon a time, there was a bird. He would pass by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in the cornfield, and all the corn turned into popcorn!!! After the bird flew over... I thought it was snowing and was freezing to death.

5. Xiao Ming got a new haircut. When he came to school the next day, his classmates saw his new hairstyle and laughed: Xiao Ming, your hair looks like a kite! Xiao Ming felt aggrieved, so he ran outside and cried. As he cried, he flew up.

6. The spider fell in love with the butterfly, but the butterfly rejected it. The spider asked: Why? why is that! Butterfly said: My mother said that those who hang out online all day long are not good people.

7. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. Banana, who was walking in front, suddenly felt very hot. He said, "It's so hot. I need to take off my clothes." As a result, he peeled off the skin. As a result, the banana behind fell down. Then the bananas that took off their clothes turned into dried bananas~

8. One day, three explorers finally found the "Valley of Hope". According to legend, as long as you stand on the edge of the valley and shout what you are thinking, If you want something, then jump into the valley, and you will get what you want in the valley. So the three of them decided to give it a try.

The first one was a pervert, so he shouted "Woman! Woman!" When he jumped down, there were a lot of beauties waiting for him.

The second one One is a bookworm, shouting "Books, books, books, books!" Then he jumps into the valley and gets a pit full of books.

The third is an indecisive person, always unable to think about things. After an hour of deciding on his favorite, he finally made up his mind and felt that banknotes were the most useful, so he walked towards the edge of the valley. He accidentally kicked a stone and cursed "shit!" Unexpectedly, there was a sudden change in the center. Unsteady and fell down the valley.

9. As for Xiao Ming, he has to take the exam tomorrow, but he is watching TV at night

Xiao Ming’s mother asked worriedly: Have you finished reading all the books? There’s an exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming answered readily: Mom, I’ve finished reading.

Xiao Ming’s mother happily praised Xiao Ming: Good boy, you will definitely do well in the exam tomorrow

Xiao Ming cried and said: Mom, I mean, ‘Mom, I see , finished'.

10. The panda loved the deer deeply, but was rejected when he expressed his love. Panda roars ~ Why? Why is all this happening? Xiaolu said timidly: My mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad boys

11. One day Xiao Ming was walking on the road! As I was walking, I suddenly felt my feet were sore! Why is this happening? Because Xiao Ming stepped on a lemon!

12. Which Chinese character is the coolest? T-pants (cool)

Jin" said to "coin": My son. If you put on a doctor's hat, you will be worth a hundred times. .

"Chi" said to "Jin": Sister, the result is out.

"Chen" said to "Ju": The size is the same as yours. . I have three bedrooms and two living rooms.

15. One night, a long time ago, there were three shrimps in the pond. Hahaha, a female ghost farted and died.

17. There was a man who was crossing the road and was accidentally crushed by a truck. When he was dying, he looked at his body and said: "It turns out that I am stuffed with bean paste, not meat."

18. Brother, stop touching it! You touched the top and bottom, and the hair fell off. The skin is so tender that it is wet when you touch it! How do you want me to sell it in the future? These peaches are all fresh, just forget it if you don’t want to buy them!

19. Once upon a time, there was a little sheep. One day he went out to play and met the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf said: I want to eat it. The little sheep was shocked! Guess what happened?

20. There was a swordsman who was very cold. The sword was very cold, and it was so cold in the end

21. Once upon a time, a tiger was chasing a deer on the road! The deer was frightened and ran faster and faster, and finally it turned into a highway

< p>22. There was a tomato that was knocked over by a stone and smashed. Another tomato fell and smashed. There was another tomato that smashed and smashed. Countless tomatoes fell and smashed. The last tomato also fell. Yeah! Ketchup!

23. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during the battle? The company commander was very angry: What can I do if I step on it?

24. One day, the three little pigs built three huts to avoid being chased by the big bad wolf. The big bad wolf blew down the thatched house, the wooden house, the brick house, and the three little pigs without any effort. They ran as hard as they could, but they were still caught up by the big bad wolf. They said in despair, "We give up. It's up to you." At this time, the big bad wolf smiled and said. : Then tell me where is Little Red Riding Hood?

25. The elephant pooped in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help singing: Ya la. Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~

26. When you check in at the railway station without any paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! When you go to the river bank but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape!

27. Two counterfeiters accidentally made 15 banknotes. The two decided to take the counterfeit banknotes worth 15 yuan to a remote mountainous area to spend them. When they bought 1 yuan candied haws with a 15 yuan bill, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7 yuan bills.

30 Life is really boring. Last month, a buddy of mine borrowed 4,000 yuan from me and said he wanted to have plastic surgery. As a result, I don’t know what he looked like now. Oh, 4,000 yuan.

31. Note to robbers: Our bank staff only understand Spanish. Please be patient when robbing. It is best to bring a translator with you. Thank you!

32. You are blind Blinded? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head!

33. I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, a hundred milliliters of lard actually leaked out.

34. Tourist: Master, is that thatched house over there a toilet? Monk: Except for the thatched cottage, the rest of the place is a toilet.

35. The hair is gone and the dandruff is even better!

36. Shit and piss are good brothers. One day Shit was hit by a car while crossing the road, and piss said: I really want to poop...

37. Yesterday I signed up to participate I went to a weight loss training class and they asked me to wear loose clothes during the training. Is this unreasonable? If there are loose clothes, then why should I sign up?

38. My wife and I haven’t spoken for 18 months, and I have no chance to interrupt her.

39. Thief A: Count how much money you robbed today? Thief B: No, I’ll find out by reading the newspaper tomorrow.

40. Stand higher and pee further

41. Go your own way and let others take a taxi.

42. Wear other people’s shoes, walk your own path, and let them find it.

44. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage to announce: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang singing and dancing, lift your skull! The whole place was silent and terrifying! ! ! Cold~~~

45. If a tiger doesn’t send a cat, you think I’m critically ill!

46. A person in our dormitory had to pee after drinking too much and then made a cold remark: If you drink too much pee, you will have too much wine.

47. My sister and I went to Li Ning to buy shoes. My sister said, "Miss, how much do these shoes cost per pound?"

48. In the past, people came to my aunt's house as a guest. Just walked in. It happened that my aunt had to go to the toilet. She quickly greeted the guests and said: "You guys sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea!"

49. When I was in college, a classmate and I were arguing about a problem, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. He slapped the table and stood up shouting: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! I spit on your shit

50. When I was young, the popsicle and ice cream sellers usually pushed bicycles to sell ice cream. Once, I heard an aunt in the house shouting: New ice cream, hot. (I guess my aunt used to sell fried cakes and fried dough sticks)

51. When my colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he ate to grow. Big ones. "

52. Once when a KTV requested a song, a girl shouted loudly: Please order me a song called "Double Jay Chou" by Zhou Jiegun.

54. In summer, a giraffe met To a rabbit, she proudly showed off her neck to the rabbit: Ah, little rabbit, do you know how nice it is to have a long neck? Do you know how fresh and sweet the leaves at the top are? Does it feel like water? The refreshing water slowly passed through her neck. Rabbit glanced at her and only said: "Have you ever tried to vomit?" ”

55. Once my brother hit me, and a bag was placed on my head. Later, when my brother wanted to pack something, he couldn’t find the bag, so he took the bag on my head to hold something.

56. Once upon a time, there was a marshmallow who played ball for a long time. He said: I am so tired, I feel like my whole body has softened.

57. Once upon a time, there were two snowmen. One said: I am so cold. The other said: I am also very cold. The other said: Let’s hug each other, so guess what? What happened next? Then they died of coldness.

58. When I was a child, I was dishonest in eating. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me: It has been hard for 60 years and there is no food. Nose is never thrown away