Campus network jokes

A complete collection of campus network jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. The following is an encyclopedia of campus network paragraphs carefully arranged by me for reference only. Let's have a look.

Campus network joke 1 1, gecko's girlfriend has to change clothes again. Gecko said, "You really should learn from other people's turtles. You can only wear one dress in your life, and it will always suit you. "

2. The orangutan is the leader of the forest and has a bad relationship with monkeys. It reprimanded: Why do you have a long tail? Cut it off! The monkey replied, if I cut it, you must ask me why I don't have a tail, and then let me mend it.

The fox stole the elephant's ivory, and the elephant went to settle accounts with the fox. Seeing a goat from a distance, he said, These days, thieves are so rampant that even my ivory peg is hanging on my head that I am not afraid of being investigated by the police!

4. A black bear was defecating in the bush, and a group of ants passed by. Unfortunately, it was suppressed by the shit of the black bear. The ants were puzzled: "There was no wind or rain, and this mudslide came too suddenly!" "

5. chinemys reevesii went ashore to play and got entangled with a panda. The tortoise courted the panda, and the panda said, how can I go to sea with you? Tortoise: Then don't bite my tail. It's really not bamboo.

6. Once upon a time, there was a rabbit.

Here comes another rabbit.

It stands on the shoulder of the first rabbit, with its ears on its hands.

Here comes another rabbit.

It stood on the shoulder of the second rabbit and grabbed its ear.

......

......

......

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Here comes another rabbit.

It stood on the shoulder of the 2nd1rabbit and grabbed its ear.

Kissed the giraffe.

Campus network joke 2 1, two little tigers are chatting, and an old tiger comes across and asks angrily, "Why do you bark like a dog?"

The little tiger replied very grievance: "Old man, you misunderstood. We are practicing spoken English. "

2. One night, the cat was chatting with the mouse. Mouse: I married a bat, and my children are no longer afraid of being chased by cats. The cat pointed to the owl in the tree and said softly, look, it is pregnant with my child.

Animals get together to chat, and a listless white tiger comes over.

The cow said to everyone, "For so many years, his vitiligo has not been cured."

When the snake comes, the frog hides in the hole. Snake: Come out, we are friends; Frog: Your name is terrible; Snake: I changed my name to frog; Frog: Then I won't come out either. You are too scary.

Two tigers were chatting when a cat came over. One of the tigress said enviously to the other tiger, "I wish I could be as thin as that!" "

6. A dog grinned and the lion dodged. The little lion asked, "How shameful it is that you dare to fight with a tiger but avoid a dog."

The lion said, "Fight with the dog and let the tiger know. Why don't you laugh at me? "

Campus network joke 3 1. When the bell rang, the teacher said angrily, "Why do you go to the canteen like hungry ghosts after class?" I am late. There is no food in the canteen? Nobody is allowed to run today. "

The students looked at the teacher and shouted, "teacher, please run slowly." You haven't called to stand up after class! " "

When I failed in the exam, I apologized to the teacher (female): "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

The teacher snorted: "What's wrong with you? You are absolutely right. How can you be wrong! "

3. A boy is in a daze in class. The teacher asked, "What are you thinking? Don't concentrate on listening in class. "

The boy replied, "I miss you."

The teacher stayed for a while and replied shyly, "You are good or bad!" "

4. Remember that there is chemistry class in junior high school. No matter what the teacher does, the class is still noisy. At this time, I heard the chemistry teacher holding a test tube and shouting, "Don't be quiet, believe it or not, I'll kill you all!" "

The class was quiet for a while, and then no one dared to make trouble in chemistry class.

5, hospital intern, just bought some cold medicine, no money. I'm going to borrow 30 yuan from my teacher, so I asked her, Teacher, do you have 30 yuan?

As a result, she said, "Guess?"

Suddenly I was speechless … I saw her smile and say, "I'm 32 this year …"

Campus network joke 4 1. Ordinary universities rely on heating, while famous universities rely on air conditioning, just as our universities rely on honesty. ...

2. My sister and I went to grab grass, walked to the tree head and saw a group of old white babies.

The accounting teacher asked several conceptual questions, and the students' answers were not satisfactory. The teacher was unhappy. He said, "With such a poor concept, how can you be competent in accounting after graduation, let alone be a boss?" Unexpectedly, a lesbian said, "I can be the boss's wife." The whole class burst into laughter, and suddenly a female classmate's voice came: "It's okay to be the boss's mother."

A student who just graduated from college applied for a job in a Sino-foreign joint venture in Tianyi. During the interview, the examiner asked, "Do you have any certificates? For example, some honorary certificates such as CET-4 and CET-6, Computer National Level 2? " The student immediately replied, "No, but I have a lot of admission tickets!" " "

When a painter is in class, he can't tolerate students smoking in the studio. Once, a student secretly took out a cigarette and lit it, which happened to be seen by him. He walked over with a serious face and asked the students sarcastically, "What are you going to use this magical stroke?" The students used their quick wits to say, "Cloud, cloud! Professor. "

6. The teacher talked about African wild boar on the platform with great interest, but when he looked up and found that many students were sleeping, he said angrily, "Look at me! How can I know what African wild boar looks like without looking at me? "

7. "Xiaojun was fired for making a fuss." "What's the matter?" "In the physical examination, he counted his ribs and was found."

8. Go out to play by bike with classmate XXX. His valve core is broken. I'll take mine out and put it on him. We rode home happily together.

Campus network joke 5 1, pestering the female teacher to tell her when I go to college, she said that she would promise me when I graduated.

Five years later, I found her and cried and begged her to say, teacher, can't I not chase you? Please let me graduate, and don't deliberately fail me again.

At the induction ceremony, the teacher gave me a badge and asked me in front of many students in the audience, "How do you feel?"

I said with tears in my eyes, "The badge pin pierced the meat ..."

3. Just pull a junior high school girl from the street. More than 95% are rich, and more than 60% are 100 yuan. Just drag a junior high school boy out, and more than 70% don't bring 30% of the money. 30% not only have no money, but also owe money to others. Classmate, do you believe it?

I wanted to sleep late this morning and didn't go to class. I fell asleep in a daze. Suddenly the class teacher called and hung up decisively. I waited two minutes to call back: "teacher, I was just in class." Now I'll call you back when I get out. What can I do for you? "

"Oh, nothing. I just checked the dormitory and saw that you slept soundly. I'll call you and tell you it's time to get up. "

I ......

When the roommate was lovelorn, we advised him to cheer up and said, "In fact, your girlfriend may feel bad."

Roommate: "If you feel bad, prove that she still likes me. Then why abandon me? "

"This ..." I quoted the classic. "It's probably called abandonment with joy!"

6. In math class, the teacher talked about a multiple-choice question. After the phone call, he asked me which ABC to choose. I didn't listen to the lecture and subconsciously said, "Huh?"

Teacher: "Don't use Pinyin next time, yes, choose A"

I ......

7. The physics teacher said that we seemed to be in love in her class.

We all ask why!

The teacher adjusted her glasses and said, because people in love have zero IQ!

Then turn around and write on the blackboard! !

8. In the evening, a student climbed over the wall to surf the Internet. The head teacher checked his bed and saw that there was no one on it, so he slept directly on it.

The next day, the students came back and saw someone on the bed. They patted and asked, "Who is that in my bed?"

The head teacher lifted the quilt and sat up and said, "Are you back?"

Then I called my parents. ......

9. Classmate A wanted to go back to his seat, and another classmate B blocked the way, so classmate B said to classmate A, "I opened this road, and I planted this road. If you want to pass by, please stay and buy road materials. "

At this time, the teacher stood outside the door and said, "Can I swipe my card?"

10, the class teacher suddenly transferred my top three female deskmates and replaced them with a big idiot who is dumber than me. I don't agree to ask the head teacher why.

As a result, the class teacher told me earnestly: "I want to improve your academic performance in another way." You should understand that negativity is positive, right? "

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