Who can give a few jokes that make people laugh and cry

In the bar, a sexy beauty sat down at the bar and made a provocative gesture.

The bartender came over and asked her what she wanted. She hooked her index finger and motioned for the bartender to approach her. Then she held the bartender's face in her hand and said in a sexy voice, "Are you the manager here?"

"No." The bartender replied.

The beauty put her hand into the bartender's hair and asked, "Then can you call the manager for me?"

"I'm afraid not!" The bartender said, "What can I do for you?"

The beauty put her finger on the bartender's lips, and the bartender began to suck her finger gently.

After smoking all ten fingers, the beauty continued, "Then please help me tell your manager that the toilet paper in the ladies' room is used up. "

On a flight from Paris to new york, the captain suddenly said to the passengers, "Attention, passengers, we have encountered unprecedented bad weather. It is quite possible that today is our end. Please be mentally prepared. "

Oh! my

Oh, my god Many people cried!

A depressed man stood up and said, "I have never tasted a woman since I was so old." Is there any lady who would like me to try? "

A woman with a baby in her arms stood up and said to the man, "I'm willing to let you try."

That man walked by quickly! Get ready to take off your pants! The woman stopped him and said, "Don't take it off. All you have to do is take off your coat. "

So the man took off his coat.

He said a little shyly, "Is it all right now?"

"all right! You breast-fed my son! ! ! "

Dad teaches children: people with beards should call him grandpa, and those with long breasts should call him aunt! After the child got married, the aunt who looked at the daughter-in-law's upper body and the uncle who looked at her lower body were at a loss. Suddenly, he heard his father shouting outside the window: Grab the aunt.

Fuck you! ! ! !

A farmer bought some pigs, hoping to have more piglets after raising them, so that he could toad in the cave and eat bacon. A few weeks later, he found that none of the pigs were pregnant.

So he called the vet for help and the vet told him to use artificial insemination.

The farmer had no idea what that meant, but he didn't want others to see his ignorance, so he just asked the vet how he could tell that the pig was pregnant. The veterinarian said that as long as the pig doesn't stop rolling in the mud, it means it is pregnant.

The farmer hung up the phone, thought about it, and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination is to let him fertilize these pigs. So he

Load all these pigs into the truck, pull them into the Woods, dry them one by one, and then pull them all back.

When he woke up the next day, the farmer went to the pigsty and saw the pigs still standing there one by one. He thought, this must be the first time.

It was successful, so he pulled the pig into the forest with a truck again. This time, for the sake of safety, he tried to dry them twice.

The next morning, he got up and went to the pigsty, and found the pig still standing there, without any movement. He thought, let's try again, so he loaded the pig into the truck and pulled it into the Woods. It took a whole day to fuck these pigs over and over again.

When I got home, I was so tired that I fell on the bed and fainted.

The next day,

He could hardly get out of bed, so he asked his wife to see if all the pigs were lying in the mud. His wife came back and told him, "No, all the pigs ran to the truck, and one of them was still honking his horn impatiently."