Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Urgent! About 6 people's sketches about gardens are related to the 60th anniversary of anniversary.
Urgent! About 6 people's sketches about gardens are related to the 60th anniversary of anniversary.
The curtain rises:
Sound effect: [Play TV sound]
Props: a long bench and a chair, with a rural courtyard in the mountains as the background.
Wang Douhua: (crutches in hand, hearing voices looking around, I really want to watch TV) [The audience is sad. Ladies and gentlemen, you are also here. I picked it up according to the sound of this TV. Otherwise, I will have to look at the tiles on the rotten bed. See, this is the advantage that all children are not in charge. Wang Mazi next door is the head of the family. I have such a big color TV set. I have no money, I can't afford it, and I can't see it. [Walking] Say, what kind of world is this? I think, when my bones were scraped off, for example, I still ran to the county to jump a money stick.
Sound effect: (The opening song of "Xialiba people" by Xuanhan TV Station [Watching Balinese people enjoy Chun Xue, hello everyone, I'm XX, welcome to watch this issue of Xialiba people's program hosted by me, our program,])
Wang Douhua: [Dancing] I just like watching this TV program. Why? [Smile, hum, embarrassed to say it] I like it. I like the director of the short play, Wang Dao. He is very handsome. [Tapping his face gently] I am teasing the old man and feel strange.
(Wang Douhua continues to listen. Just then, the sound of TV faded away. )
Wang Douhua: Yes, yes, there was no sound when I spoke. Oh, I'm afraid I can't listen to this program today. 【 Hammer your legs while sitting in a chair. I miss Wang Douhua, who gave birth to three children, two girls and five children. Old, no one around. Why? Listen, I live at the top of the mountain. A few years ago, I had to raise money to build roads, so I went to work to get it. I turned around and lost my life. [Stand up] Blame that cow, that cow, Liu, the village head surnamed Liu, didn't drum up to repair the back-to-back highway. Kai may have a chance. Today, I want to play another game with him.
Liu, the village head (wearing camouflage clothes and carrying a hoe on his shoulder). After 30 years of reform and opening up, people's lives have developed greatly. People were born in the old Huangshan Mountain, and the road was built several times. As soon as there was a big battle in the county, the road was buried immediately. Later, when the reporter came to promote it, the TV appeared.
Wang Douhua: Show me a shovel.
Village head Liu: Mrs. Wang, you like me too much.
Wang Douhua: I didn't hit you, but I was kind. I didn't sue you, it was Ji De. Kill people and taste their lives. You give me my people back.
Village head Liu: Mrs. Wang, I know about our eldest brother. Hey, you can't blame me if you want to open up.
Wang Douhua: I can't relax. I want you to return my life.
Village head Liu: Wang Douhua, I'm telling you, wait for haha. Today, a reporter from Xuanhan TV will interview me. I don't have time to talk to you two.
Wang Douhua: Oh, more than enough.
Village head Liu: Can you tell me something? I know that something happened to your host while you were repairing the highway. This matter has been solved for several years. If you have nothing to do, you have to pay me.
Wang Douhua: If I don't screw you, I screw you.
Village head Liu: Sister Wang, don't talk nonsense. (Seeing the reporter) Here they come.
Reporter: (A man and a woman with a camera, tripod and microphone)
Male reporter: Excuse me, is this Laohuangshan Village?
Village head Liu: Yes, yes. (Pointing at the camera) I can tell at a glance that you are reporters of Xuanhan TV Station.
Female reporter: Yes, yes.
Village head Liu: I am the village head of Old Huangshan Mountain. My name is Liu Dabao.
Wang Douhua: Comrade reporter, you, just call me Dou Hua.
Male reporter: [pointing to Wang Douhua] Oh, you are from Murakami.
Female reporter: the director of women [looks at the male reporter and points to Wang Douhua], right?
(Two reporters are going to interview)
Wang Douhua: Right, right (looking at Liu Cunchang), don't you think so?
Village head Liu: (pulls Wang Douhua aside) Wang Douhua, I tell you, at your age, you have to be proud. You pretend to be the director of women, so what's your intention?
Wang Douhua: You are a cow. It has been recognized by reporters.
Village head Liu: I tell you, Wang Douhua, don't be coquettish. You don't welcome me. (walks up to two reporters) Two reporters, let's get started.
Wang Douhua: (to the audience) I have to pay today.
Male reporter: (to female reporter) Let's start now.
Woman reporter: OK, let's interview our village head first. [Holding up the receiver] Audience friends, where am I now? It is the farthest mountain village in our county, where the mountain road is steep and the land is barren. For many years, owning roads, telephones and televisions has been their dream for generations.
Village head Liu and Wang Douhua: (grabbing the microphone together and saying at the same time) Yes, yes.
Sound effect: lovelorn
Villagers in the county, our place is poor, the road is blocked, the phone can't get in when it rains, and the fat pigs can't be sold.
Wang Douhua: (sobbing) In order to build roads and sell fat pigs, my man turned a corner and lost his life. ...
Village head Liu: Wang Douhua, the reporter is interviewing me. What are you doing?
Wang Douhua: I'm helping you tell your story and complain to the people of the county.
(I don't know how to make it good for you two)
Village head Liu: I just met you. What do I have to complain about?
Female reporter: Well, this director of bean curd, let's interview Village Chief Liu first, and then.
Village head Liu: Two journalists, what director is she there? (To Wang Tofu Flower) If you don't know, don't talk nonsense. (pulls one aside) Shut up at once.
Wang Douhua: (to the audience) I have to make you mad today, so you can't be on TV.
Male reporter: Liu, what are we here for? I mainly want to know about the specific situation of your village, especially things like the recent highway war in the county, the access roads in various villages, road hardening and so on.
Village head Liu: OK, OK, let me get to know you.
(Female reporter comes forward with a microphone)
Wang Douhua: The sound of my dead TV.
Liu: Wang tofu flower
Wang Tofu Flower: (Show me your mouth)
Village head Liu: OK, let's get started.
Just then, Liu shook his head and cleared his throat. ]
Wang Douhua: (Dancing like a money stick with a cane) A piece of music will be comfortable.
Village head Liu: This, this, our village, this, this, highway.
Sound effect: Spanish matador March. 》
Wang Douhua: (to the audience) Yes, the TV in front of Wang Mazi's house is on again. Comfortable. [Dance the money stick first, then listen to the matador March and start dancing. The more exciting the jump, the more exciting it is. Jumping around in front of the camera. ]
Village head Liu: This, this, highway has been built for many years. This, this, this time, the county leaders gave us a gesture, and we must achieve every village. What about our village? Last month, TV fttp was realized. Ah, this, this, I said Wang Douhua, are you upset or crazy? Right in front of my camera.
[In order to avoid Wang Douhua, the reporter also moved back and forth from left to right, helpless. ]
Wang Douhua: (to Liu) You are still smiling. You told me to shut up. I'm closed. I can't dance at home. Other reporters didn't say anything. Look, the reporters are still laughing, which proves that I am a good dancer. Isn't it?
Reporter: (At the same time) OK, OK.
Village head Liu: (handfuls of tofu pudding are pulled aside. ) Wang Douhua, are you going to flirt on purpose today? How do you work like this?
Wang Douhua: You told me to be quiet. I didn't say anything.
Village head Liu: OK, OK, as long as you don't disturb my interview, (pointing to the ground and drawing a line) you can have a look. Let's go
Wang Douhua: Yes, (Liu turns away)
Village head Liu: (to reporters) I'm sorry, rural women, who have never seen the world before, made you laugh.
Female reporter: Nothing. Excuse me, Village Chief Liu, what do our rural friends need most and what do they expect most?
Village head Liu: Ah, this, this, needs education, this, this, now, advocate quality education? This, this, the conditions are good, yo, this, this, the requirements are higher, not last month, we just connected optical fiber here and watched more than 30 channels, this, this, and now, every household has bought one, this, this, and the conditions are good, yo, and also bought a mobile phone, yo, this, this.
Sound effect: Liang Zhu
Wang Douhua: (looking back) Also, it will be more comfortable to turn up the TV at the top of Wang Mazi's house. (Suddenly the music starts) [Bring your own crutches when the microphone starts singing] [English version of Liang Zhu]
Village head Liu: (strolls to Wang Douhua's side. Wang Douhua, you just meant not to let me be on TV.
Wang Douhua: Yo, you scared me standing next to me.
(Applause by two reporters)
Male reporter: Er Liang, I didn't see that you still have some literary talent.
Woman reporter: Yes, auntie, you can only sing and dance.
Wang Douhua: I'm not good at singing and dancing.
Village head Liu: Don't worry, Wang Douhua. Are you satisfied? If this reporter's interview with you affects the image of our village, your family will be responsible.
Wang Douhua: I have the responsibility, but I can't afford it. It was obviously the music of another pockmarked horse family, and I started singing as soon as I got there. You killed my man, and I haven't settled accounts with you yet. )
Woman reporter: Liu, what's the matter?
Village head Liu: Come on, it's a long way to go, but the mountain is high and the road is narrow. Everyone in the village went out to repair the road. As soon as the gun rang, the one on the other side of his house left. When the five children grow up, they all go out to work for four or five years and don't go home. The head of the family, only a few stubborn old people, keep the house and farm. This bean curd sister-in-law can't afford fiber-optic TV at home, and she has to educate several grandchildren. Now these young people.
Male reporter: Like her, are there many households in your village?
Village head Liu: Oh, there are two households in the back, three in the elbow and five in the school.
Woman reporter: Liu, can you show us?
Village head Liu: (Glancing at tofu and sighing deeply) Alas, there are many such things in the countryside now. (To Wang) Wang Douhua, let's go.
[Two reporters leave]
This article is transferred from www.xsxpw.com.
Wang Douhua: (Look, they are all gone) Journalists, two journalists, I forgot to mention that my favorite program is Chin Beauty. I forgot to say a word to that director Wang. (Sighs) This is another person at the head of the house. [Sitting in a chair]
[The TV is getting louder and louder at this time]
Sound effect: "Kind Mother" [Audience friends, our county is a big agricultural county with many migrant workers. As the saying goes, "Take care of your children on Wan Li Road", and "Old people who stay at home" are especially concerned about their children who go out to work. White-haired "left-behind old people", they are tired, they are difficult, they are bitter, they are lonely; In particular, the rural "left-behind elderly" who have worked hard all their lives are old and weak, and illness is inevitable. When the children are not in front of the bed, whoever brings them hot soup and hot water can only feed themselves. What is even more painful is the endless spiritual concern of the old people for their children outside and the silent loneliness inside. They need our care and attention. ]
[Wang Douhua, when you hear this news, you must be full of expressions and arouse your emotions]
Prop: TV (carton)
Village head Liu: (Laughter Lang Lang, go to the stage. ) Sister-in-law Douhua, Sister-in-law Douhua, why are you sitting here again?
Wang Douhua: Why did you run away again? (get up)
Village head Liu: Look, I brought a guest.
Staff: (wearing safety helmet and radio and television overalls) Hello, I am from the county radio and television bureau, and I am entrusted by the leaders of our bureau to install fiber-optic TV for you free of charge.
Wang Douhua: Really, you can stay at home every day.
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