Tell me some jokes that can make my girlfriend laugh, not unhealthy ones.

Tell me some jokes that can make my girlfriend laugh. Don't make you special in the unhealthy blue sky of 1. I miss you helplessly, you are lovely in the white clouds, and I miss you helplessly. Gently blowing you in the distance, I am waiting for you with deep affection; The drizzle is romantic to you, and I miss you lonely.

Are you lonely? If yes, go downstairs and buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick, and swing the stick on the roof when it is windy. When someone asks you what you are doing, you say, I'm out of my mind!

If it's a mistake to be good-looking … then I'm all wet.

If loveliness is a crime ... I have committed a heinous crime.

It's hard to be a man! ... you'll be fine ~ Yes, you're not guilty ... I envy you.

I'm sorry to text you so late ~ ~

If it bothers you ~ ~ I'll tell you here ~ ~

Serves you right ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~ ~ ~ Hehe! !

5▲ I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; Write your name on the beach, but it is swept away by the waves; Write your name in the street, but I was taken away by the police

Are there any funny jokes? Don't be an unhealthy reporter: Grandpa, what do you think of this year's New Deal against corruption?

Grandpa: You mean, the anti-corruption in previous years was all a joke?

Are there any funny jokes? Don't be yellow, it's unhealthy, but it's still funny. The little fish asked the big fish, "Mom, why do they say that the fish's memory is only seven seconds?" The big fish said, "What did you say just now?" The little fish said, "What?" The big fish said, "Why?" The fish said, "What's the matter?" [Laughing to tears]

Give a few jokes that can make girls laugh. Don't be vulgar, don't be mentally retarded, don't be unhealthy … thank you … the teacher said, "exams are usually snacks, and you will never get tired of eating them;" Duan Kao is a dinner, regular and quantitative; The entrance examination is a feast, and once is enough. Why don't you study hard? "

The student said, "report to the teacher, we are losing weight!" " "

Are there funny couplets instead of unhealthy ones: pseudonyms, pseudonyms and fake addresses?

Bottom line: cheating on eating, cheating on drinking and cheating on feelings

Horizontal approval: those who wish to take the bait

The first part: The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I am waiting for your call back.

Part two: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life.

Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person

Part I: Love your country, your family and your sister.

Part II: Fire Prevention, Theft Prevention and Senior Brother

Horizontal criticism: freedom of love

Part one: Look at the back, there are thousands of troops.

Part two: Turn your head and scare away millions of heroes

Horizontal batch: my god!

Part I: Say you can do it, you can do it or you can't do it.

Bottom line: If you say no, you can't do it, and neither can you.

Cross-approval: I can't accept it.

Part One: Recalling the past, Redmi, pumpkin soup, a wife and a group of children.

Part two: Look at the present, white rice, turtle soup, a child and a bunch of wives.

Horizontal batch: keep pace with the times

Part one: I am crazy for you, tired for you, and bear all the sins for you.

Part II: Die for you, be crazy for you, and hit the wall for you.

Horizontal criticism: crazy about love

Part one: It is difficult to love and be loved.

Bottom line: Love and fate take time.

Horizontal criticism: friendship is priceless

Part I: Love has been suspended, and love has also lightened its position, and fate has slipped to the daily limit.

Bottom line: thinking about the bull market and the bear market, feelings can't be cast for a long time.

Horizontal batch: make up the position quickly.

The first part: boys, girls, poor scholars, endless.

The second part: first love, passionate love, extramarital love, reluctant to part.

Horizontal criticism: there is no love in life

Part one: The person I love has been taken away.

Bottom line: People who love me are terrible.

Horizontal criticism: bad luck

Part I: Love is in arrears, love has stopped, and fate is not in the service area.

Bottom line: thinking is unresponsive, thinking is too busy, and feelings cannot be recharged.

Horizontal criticism: how to connect if the heart is moving

Look for interesting websites or software for entertainment and recreation, not unhealthy ones. I don't think this is a bad idea. As for the encyclopedia of embarrassing events, I'd better forget it. All kinds of disease-free regrets fill a space and are very boring.

Enthusiastic friends can provide me with some classic jokes (not unhealthy, heavy-tasting, humorous and disgusting). Once upon a time, there was a village. Suddenly one day, a strange fish with six eyes flying came to the sea, which ate local villagers specially. The villagers call it "six-eyed flying fish". At this moment, a young man came to the village. His name is very special. He said he could kill the six-eyed flying fish, but he needed a knife called courage. Everyone is confused. Love says, "Love really needs courage to face the flying fish with six eyes." ...

Send me a PPT file and ask for everything (unhealthy). Is it okay?

Find some youthful jokes instead of yellow or unhealthy campus jokes that have been laughing at the computer for 20 minutes.

1。 When I was in high school, the classroom discipline was very chaotic. In a rage, the teacher picked up XXX and said, XXX, stand on the wall for me! ~ ~ The whole class is cold!

2。 Once I was driving, the female colleague sitting next to me suddenly asked, "Why don't you wear a condom when driving?"

3。 Me: That's our physics teacher. . . Classmate: What do you teach? Me: Chemistry. . .

4。 A person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then brought out a cold sentence: if you drink too much, you will drink too much.

5。 Buy oranges, boss: 1.5 1 kg. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no.

6。 My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. (I was going to say LCD)

7。 Junior high school art evening, grab the answer link. Hostess: "Attention, everyone, don't grab it too fast." When I finished, I began to raise my hand. "Then I began to look at the topic and said," Now. . 。” At this time, a player scrambled to answer.

The host said: "This classmate is a little too anxious. I' started' (shit) is still in my mouth, why did you rob me? "

8。 A classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and tossed his hair: "Boss, no onion rice noodles!" " "Say that finish, I added:" More rice noodles! "boss:" . . . Do you want rice noodles or onions? "

9。 I used to say "he's not here" when my classmate's mother called, but this time I wanted to say "he's out" and the result was: "he ... left"

10。 Gg handed me a sorbet, and I took a bite and shouted, "It's burning me!" " "

1 1。 In high school, everyone has a badge. . Before a physical examination, the class teacher ran to the classroom and shouted, put on your bra and come to Zara. . The audience was silent. . .

12。 Once, the leaders of the Education Bureau checked the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "retreat!"

13。 There is a teacher in high school whose surname is Jiang, who looks very much like (Tang priest in a Chinese Odyssey). I went to ask him a question and blurted out, "Teacher Tang, this question ..."

14。 A colleague, one day when I was driving on the road, had a flat tire and asked where there was an inflatable one. Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!"

15。 A teacher probably played mahjong all night, and when he saw that the blackboard was not wiped, he was furious: "Who will be the host today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

16。 Even in high school, I went home with MM after school. At the school gate, I saw a barbecue seller. MM said she wanted to eat beef offal. Because there were many seniors on the grill, I was afraid that the boss wouldn't hear me, so I shouted "Boss, five strings of bullwhip", and then there was silence. Three seconds later, everyone laughed together. I am so embarrassed. . . The most embarrassing thing is that MM then asked me, "What is a bullwhip?" I have to answer MM very, very quietly: "A bullwhip is a cow's tail." .

17。 In the morning, I went to have breakfast with my classmates. One of them only eats steamed buns, and the other only eats skins. We were just saying that they were wasting their time when two students who ate stuffing came over and said, "You can eat my foreskin when you are finished." All the porridge drinkers present poured out.

18。 During the military training in the university, the instructor shouted: keep up with your side door ~ ~ ~ We want to laugh but dare not. It's pathetic. ....

19。 The female classmate and her cousin invited me to dinner and asked me to eat more during the dinner. I don't know why I made the following mistake: "Thank you, there is no * * * recently, please eat more!" At that time, everyone was spouting rice. .

20。 I used to be crazy about online games, and I often killed myself in internet cafes. After the semester, I went home with a group of friends, and the train was about to leave, but we haven't found the platform yet. I suddenly said, "MD, why isn't there even a coordinate here?" ~ "The elder brothers burst into laughter after hearing this ~ ~

2 1。 When I live on campus, I often sleep in bunk beds. The mobile phone needs to be recharged once. But there is only one socket in a bed, so reading with a lamp can't be recharged. As a result, A plugged the charger into B, and B wanted to listen to music at night. When he saw A's charger, he shouted, "Hey, I said, why are you always on it?" Why don't you go there? "After a commotion, sweating like a pig ~ ~

22。 When I was in college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid!

23。 Our head teacher teaches math in senior three ... when he reviews for us ~ every time he draws a picture and a ray ~ ~ he says loudly ~ ~ ` Look at this, students ~ ~ I took it.

24。 During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~!

25。 My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating.

26. The strongest scam reply sentence I have ever seen: Serious warning: If you don't reply, JJ will disappear.

There is a square character for my friend's name, girl, and I want to give her a nickname, not an unhealthy corner (Jiao Jiao) (the square one has only four corners, which is homophonic with Jiao Jiao, or Jiao Jiao can do it).