English humorous stories for fifth grade

Without you, my world began to dim; without you, my way forward was so obscure and vague. I regretted that last night I didn't cherish you well. So today--I have to buy another pair of glasses to take your place. After losing you, my world became dim. Without you, my future would be so blurry and at a loss. I regret not cherishing you properly last night. Today I can only go again - buy a pair of glasses to replace you. Not every flower symbolizes for love, but rose can do it; not every tree can stand thirst, but alamo can do it, not every pig can read short message, but you can do it. congratulations! Love, but roses did it; not every tree can withstand thirst, but poplars do it; not every pig can read short messages, but you did it. congratulations! You may fall from mountain, you may fall from tree, but the best way to fall, is fall to my love. 1 day u'll B surprised 2C ME beside U. U amp; Me laughing, Uamp; Me crying, U amp ; Me dreaming, U amp; Me holding on, U amp; Me...just U amp; Me sitting in a MENTAL amp; ME CHECKING U. One day you will be surprised to find me appearing next to you. You and I laughed together, cried together, dreamed together, snuggled together, together...it was just you and I sitting together in a mental hospital and me (the doctor) examining you (the mental patient). Once god came up 2 me & granted me a wish. I asked 4 world peace. That's impossible, he said. I said I want world peace. "That's impossible," he said. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said, Let me try world peace. Then I asked him 2 give u brains. He said: "You'd better let me try to make the world peaceful.

” Every morning I pray 2 God that everybody should get a friend like u,... Every morning I pray to God: I hope everyone can have a friend like you... Why should I be the only to suffer.. .Why am I the only one who has to endure having a friend like you? If u hide, I'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, I'll search 4 you. If u'll leave, I'll wait 4 u. u away 4m me, I'll fight 4 u. If you hide, I will find you. If you disappear, I will look for you. If you leave, I will wait for you. , I'll fight for you. But, if you stop sending msgs, I'll kill you. Logic Reasoning A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on. logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the motion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?" Logical Reasoning Elementary School The fourth-grade teacher was giving a logic lesson to the students. She gave an example: "There was a situation where a man was fishing on a boat in the middle of the river and suddenly lost his center of gravity and fell into the water. So he started struggling and yelling for help. His wife heard him shouting and knew he couldn't swim, so she hurried to the river bank. Can anyone tell me why this is? "A girl raised her hand and replied, "Are you going to withdraw his deposit? " [Note] In English, in addition to the "bank" we are familiar with, bank also means "river bank". Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born. Teacher: Correct. And What great event happened in 1812? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday. Teacher: What great event happened in 1809? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday. Teacher: Correct. What about the incident? Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln celebrated his third birthday. (1) Xiao Ming said to the teacher in English class: May I go to the toilet? The teacher said: Go ahead and Xiao Ming sat down.

After a while, Xiao Ming said to the teacher again: May I go to the toilet? The teacher said: Go ahead. Xiao Ming sat down again. The classmate next to him couldn't help but ask: Didn't you tell the teacher that you needed to use the toilet? Why not? Xiao Ming said: Didn’t you hear the teacher say “go to hell”! (2) A man and woman in love. The girl was very insecure, so she said to her boyfriend: "SAY I LOVEYOU!! SAY IT! SAY IT! SAY IT!" The man replied: "I T!" (3) An international student in the United States wants to take the international exam drving license. During the exam, I was too nervous and saw the marking on the ground to turn left. He asked worriedly: turn left? The invigilator answered: right. So he immediately turned right... (4) Someone studied English hard and eventually achieved success. One day I accidentally bumped into a foreigner on the street, and he quickly said: I am sorry. The foreigner responded: I am sorry too. After hearing this, someone said: I am sorry three. The foreigner was puzzled and asked: What are you sorry for? Someone was helpless and said: I am sorry five. 1 Investigator: What is your father"s name?: Brother: Happy!!: Investigator: What is your mother"s name?: Brother: Smile!: Investigator: Are you joking?: Brother: No!!That "s my sister!! I am Kidding!! //corner.youth.cn/humor/index It's full of humorous jokes, you can find them yourself.

I work for 7up"! I work for 7up. Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. the nurse es up to the first man and says, "congratulations, you got ins." the man said "how strange, i'm the manager of minnesota ins." after awhile the nurse es up to the second man and says, "congratulations, you got triplets." man was like "hmmm, strange i worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." finally, the nurse es up to the third man and says "congratulations, you got ins x2." man is happy and says, "ironic, i work for the hotel "4 seasons. " all three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing god and banging his head on the wall. they asked him what's wrong and he answered, "what's wrong? i work for 7up"! Good friends met in the hospital. Their wives were giving birth. The nurse came over and said to the first man, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man said, "How strange, I am the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came over and said to the second man: "Congratulations, you are pregnant with triplets." The man liked it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I am the director of 3M Company." Finally, the nurse came over and said to the third man Said: "Congratulations, you have two sets of twins." The man said happily: "It's ridiculous, I work for the Four Seasons Hotel." The three of them were very happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as a hot pot. Ant, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what was wrong, and he replied, "What's wrong? I work for 7-Up!" five hundred times in the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. she explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes . a wild gleam came

into the judge's eye. "you are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "madam, i shall realize my lifelong ambition. sit down at that table and write 'i went through a red light' five hundred times." In a traffic court in a large western city, a young woman was brought before a judge and given a ticket for driving through a red light. The woman explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and asked the judge to handle her case immediately so she could get back to class. There was a sly flash in the judge's eyes and he said, "You are a school teacher, right? Madam, I'm about to realize my lifelong wish. Sit down at that table and write 'I drove through a red light' 500 times ” (This is not bad, haha, I didn’t fully understand it at first)