A selection of interesting jokes from China.

1. A gecko got lost in front of a securities company when a crocodile just climbed up to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " Crocodile is stupefied, immediately burst into tears: "Son, you've just been trading stocks for half a month and you're so thin?" ! "

2. A gentleman was flying for the first time. He was too scared to open his eyes. 15 minutes later, he opened his eyes, looked out of the window and shouted, "Hey, flying so high, people are like ants. ! "The neighbor said," That's an ant. The plane has not taken off yet. "

3. A lumberjack went to apply for a job. Foreman: "Try the forest ahead and see how many trees you can cut down in a minute". After a minute, the foreman said, "Wow, 20 trees a minute is amazing! Where did you work before? " Worker: "Sahara forest". Foreman: "No, I've only heard of the Sahara Desert." Worker: "Yes. Later I changed my name! "

After working in the company, several computers get together to fight the landlord, and the water dispenser also plays. He loses every time, but he still insists on taking part every day. The sofa didn't understand, so she asked the chair, "The water dispenser is lost every day. Why are you still playing so hard? " ? The chairman said, "Are you out of your mind to ask such a question?

There are five eggs in the refrigerator. The first said to the second: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible ~! The second said to the third: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible, it's terrible ~! The third said to the fourth: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ... The fifth egg heard it: get out ~! Lao zi is kiwi fruit ~! ! !

6. Xiaoming: "Wow, why is your face so swollen?" Xiaole: "Alas, I was bitten by a mosquito while boating with my father yesterday ..." Xiaoming: "You must have been stung by it for a long time?" Xiaole: "As soon as it stopped in my face, it was killed by my father with an oar." Xiao Ming: "! ! ! "

7. A little tiger came slowly, blushing and asked the little squirrel, "Excuse me, can I eat you?" The little squirrel thought the question was funny and said, "Is this your first time eating animals?" The little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, "Yes, mom is not at home." The little squirrel asked curiously, "What did you eat before?" "..." "What? Speak louder, I can't hear you. " "eat milk!" Say that finish, the little tiger's face is redder.

8. A man passed by a wheat field and found a cow without horns. He asked the farmer, "Why doesn't this cow have horns?" The farmer said, "Cows have no horns for many reasons. Some are hereditary, some are sick and fall off, and some are lost because of long horns with other cows. This cow has no horns, that's because it is a donkey. "

9. I have a little nephew named Jing Hang, who is six years old. As far as appearance is concerned, he is "ahead". He is older than other children of the same age, and he is a chubby boy that everyone loves! -Round face, stocky figure, wobbly walking, everyone misses Doby. He has no other hobbies and has loved eating since he was born. Anyway, he can eat delicious food. He looks particularly cute when eating. Whenever he eats, no matter what you ask him, he responds to you with two actions at most: nodding or shaking his head, that is, not talking. Why? Because I can't talk! -His job at this time is to "bury your head" in eating and ignore other things! I saw his chubby hand holding long chopsticks, and his mouth seemed to bite the edge of the bowl and kept pulling food into his mouth. After a while, his stomach swelled like a drum. Speaking of his appetite, one person is worth two adults. Even if you refuse to accept it!

But he has the same advantage as Zhu Bajie when he was in Gaolaozhuang: he can eat and cook! Whenever he sees you working, he will take the initiative to help you, sweep the yard, weed and move things ... anyway, he will do what he can and can't do. In winter, he was really bored, so he found a small shovel to sweep the piles of snow that adults had already swept all over the floor. Or pull a small ice cart, put things on it and run around the yard; Or when people are not looking, break the tops or branches of young trees and pick flowers from flowerpots. ...

Usually others are willing to tease him: "race, are you willing to go to school or work?" Without thinking, he replied, "Work." Others praised: "This child is willing to work, and he can't be wrong when he grows up!" In fact, he has gone to kindergarten, but he never does his homework and is unwilling to study.

It is said that his sister asked him again a few days ago, "Sailing, what are you going to take when you grow up?" He replied without thinking: "Mutton kebabs!"

Hearing this, some people present laughed and some laughed. However, after listening to the child's answer, I was speechless. ...

10. Why is the child: "Dad, what kind of cigarette is this?" Dad: "Remember, smoke is a chimney." Child: "Oh, I see! Why is dad's nose not called' chimney'? "

A pedestrian asking for directions asked a child, "Brother, please ask me: Where do these two roads lead?" The child said, "The one on the east side can lead to my house. The one in the west, but not to my house. ...

Filial son: "What will you do if I am the first in my class?" Father: "Then I am really happy!" " "Son:" Dad, don't worry, I won't let you die! " "

The youngest son has no food to eat and always refuses to sit down. Mother asked strangely; "What's wrong with you today? Why eat standing up? " Son: "Today, in Chinese class, the teacher said,' Sit on your laurels ...'"

Football fever dad: "Hey, I told you to buy a hot water bottle. Why did you buy a football? " Son: "Football is better than hot water bottle, which saves the trouble of irrigation." Father: "But football can't keep you warm." Son: "Why not? Didn't you see in the newspaper that there will be a' football fever' around the world this year? "

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