Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Faces----My Girlfriends (Series) (1)
Faces----My Girlfriends (Series) (1)
Chapter 1: Heroine: Hui
Keywords: "My endocrine disorder is going to be imbalanced."
Chapter 2: Heroine: Amin
Keywords: "I want to lose weight!"
Chapter 3: Heroine: Yue
Keywords: "I want to lose weight!"
Deep in the city, there lives a group of women like this.
Keywords: "My endocrine system is going to be out of balance."
I met Hui because I was hospitalized. In November 2002, due to the heavy workload of being a department manager in a large company and the extremely unsatisfactory love life, my tonsils became severely suppurated. The doctor said that it would be best for me to stay in the hospital for a week.
I went to the nearby hospital every day to get the intravenous injection alone. I lay on the white sheets alone, tired of reading, and estimated the time when the infusion would be finished. I set the alarm on my phone and started to sleep.
Hui is a nurse in the hospital. She has a big forehead, a loud voice, big eyes, and a wild and innocent look in her eyes. She inserted the needle very accurately and quickly. Before I even felt it, the needle had already penetrated my blood vessel.
She saw that I was always alone, sleeping or reading, so she became curious about me. When there were no other patients, she would chat with me. Her Mandarin had a strong Guangxi accent, which was difficult for me to hear.
After being discharged from the hospital, Hui and I became friends. I invited Hui to dinner, but she decided to pay the bill. Because the hospital stipulates that we are not allowed to eat meals invited by patients, Hui is so principled, I have no choice but to let her go.
Long after I was discharged from the hospital, Hui finally stopped treating me as a patient. When I invited her to my house for dinner, she no longer refused.
She came to my home and was amazed by everything. She carelessly looked through the books and other things I put on the table. I stood beside her, feeling very uncomfortable and not knowing how to stop her. Hui's favorite person is Xu Zhimo, not because of his poems, but because he looks "so romantic."
The 29-year-old Hui is still full of fantasy. She wants to find someone who looks like Xu Zhimo. Shima's boyfriend. When Hui saw my aromatherapy burner, she learned about essential oils for the first time. She researched it for a long time, and after returning home, she immediately went to the "Women's World" in Huaqiangbei to buy a set. Then she immediately called me and told me in surprise that the smell of lavender was now floating in her room.
In fact, it is easy to gain Hui's admiration, as long as you know more than her. She was so proud of me that she told almost all her friends that they knew me. For a while, Hui's mantra was: "What you said is wrong, I, Sister Zhu, didn't say that." I couldn't help but laugh and cry.
Hui was extremely lonely. When she was 19 years old, she had a first love that ended in vain. She was deeply hurt. Ten years later, she never fell in love again. In the huge city of Shenzhen, apart from being busy with work, she only has three or four friends. She wants to hang out with me more often, but I often don't have the time. I have many things and many friends, but I often ignore her, hurting Hui Min's pride again and again, but I don't know it.
Hui suddenly began to turn to the Internet. She registered in a dating center and put her extremely innocent photo of herself when she was 21 on it, and she received countless love letters from men. She was excited about it.
Hui no longer makes long phone calls to me at night, but instead answers calls from those men. Hui didn't know much about the Internet, so she started meeting one after another like a moth flying to a flame, with a record of meeting 4 men in one week. Later, she suddenly called me: "I will never see those stinky men again!" Because one man touched her face when they had dinner with her for the first time, and another man asked her the first thing he said when they met: "Go Where are you, or where are I?" She was as pure and intelligent as water, and she went to make friends with an innocent and lovely heart. She didn't expect that she would meet such people, and she was horrified.
Without the dating center, Hui became lonely again. When she calls me occasionally, she becomes even more talkative. She acts coquettishly at me and speaks in a coquettish voice.
Sometimes he would send me text messages out of the blue, often without a clue, such as: "What is the meaning of life?"
Hui has been living in a huge swing. She is confused and can't find it. I can't find a fulcrum. Others can easily influence her. After being disappointed with the man, she began to busy herself. She is busy with different things at each period of time. She suddenly goes to the gym, then suddenly goes to get a beauty treatment, or suddenly goes to the movies continuously, and then suddenly goes clubbing every day: these things are often caused by the sudden influence of someone she admires during that period. Influence.
She was so busy that she came to my place again after some days. Her complexion did not improve because of the beauty treatment, and her eyes no longer had the same happy light that sparkled like a wild deer when I first saw her. Her eyes were wandering, she was absent-minded, as if she was missing something.
Hui was silent for a long time and said, "I am going to have endocrine disorders if I live alone like this." I don't know how to help her. In fact, she wants very little and she has no concept of material things. I no longer expect my boyfriend to look like Xu Zhimo, as long as he is not too ugly and likes her. I didn’t expect that I couldn’t find it in such a big city.
Keywords: "I want to lose weight!"
Amin is a friend I have known since I worked at the "Hot Works and Two Academies" in Hainan after graduating from university. A girl from Yunnan, she looks like Some ethnic minority style, but she is indeed Han Chinese. Amin's eyes were very big, with deep sockets and long eyelashes. She was very proud of herself, consciously or unconsciously feeling that she was a beauty. Maybe because she is too carefree and like a tomboy, men often don't regard her as a beauty.
Amin married a teacher who was more than ten years older than her right after graduating from university, which caused quite a stir at the time. After that, she became pregnant very quickly. Unexpectedly, a few years later, news of her divorce came. It's not surprising that we, Hainan's friends, all know her. Her original love was already seen as ridiculous.
Amin came to Shenzhen with a very hurt heart to find friends like us who had known each other since Hainan. Everyone came out of the miserable workplace in Hainan and reunited in Shenzhen. In a few years, some people got married and some left, which was unavoidable and sad.
Amin is still the same on the surface. When friends get together, she must be the protagonist. She has excellent acting talent. She told us countless jokes, performed stand-up comedy in Yunnan dialect, and danced her own peacock dance. Although she is no longer slender, she dances softly and sexyly. She always makes us laugh until our stomachs hurt or make our eyes wide open in surprise;
But Amin is no longer the same. Her formerly smooth skin is covered with acne, and she has become grumpy. As long as she spoke, we had to listen attentively. If someone distracted, she would get angry. It seemed that the divorce had hit her too hard. She couldn't find herself. She needed attention too much.
Amin's child belongs to her ex-husband. She has lived a single life for several years and is very lonely. She once again longs to get married. She was nice to a boy and they were in the same company. Yong is a few years older than Amin and has never been married. He had a serious illness and had surgery in Guangzhou. Amin rushed to Guangzhou on weekends, carrying the cooked soup, and took care of him like a wife. Three months later, Yong was discharged from the hospital and they started dating.
Amin devoted all her enthusiasm to Yong. In order to have a comfortable home, she took out all her savings, paid the down payment for the house, and moved in with Yong. Amin is very busy at work, but after work every day he rushes back to make soup for Yong. This man was still recuperating at home during those days, waiting with peace of mind for Amin to come back and cook for her. To him, Amin was better than nothing, but there was just one more woman to take care of her.
A few months later, when Amin came to see me, the acne on her face was even more serious. She hesitantly asked me if a man would no longer be willing to do that kind of thing after a serious illness. It turns out that Yong has been refusing to go to bed with her, citing the excuse that his body has not recovered. There were only a few times when Amin was very proactive, so he did it perfunctorily. Amin said: "I can't stand it anymore! Is there anyone living together like us?" She asked me quietly: "Are there any movies like that to watch?" I was stunned and said, "No.
”
Amin’s pain increased day by day. All our friends scolded her for not living up to expectations. It would be better for such a stinky man to leave her. She also kept announcing that she had broken up, but after a few days she came to ask for advice. How to get Yong to come back to her.
They finally broke up when SARS broke out in 2003. At that time, everyone was like a frightened rabbit, everyone wore a mask and closed the door every day. Smoked vinegar. Amin happened to have a bad cold during those days and was lying in bed coughing. Yong sat in the living room and watched TV. Amin said, "Bring me a glass of water, please?" "Yong stood at the door and refused to come in. He said coldly: "How do I know you are not infected? "
Yong finally disappeared from Amin's vocabulary, and she began to announce to everyone: "I want to lose weight! "When we ate together, she only ate very little. After the meal, she was too hungry and she ate snacks crazily. Amin lost more and more weight, so she had to spend 4,000 yuan to go to a famous weight loss center for cruel acupuncture. Combined with a strict diet. Amin often reports to us her latest weight loss, but we secretly said that if I eat vegetables every day, it will be strange if I don't lose weight!
See Amin again. , She is indeed much more graceful, except for her sallow complexion. She can finally wear the dress that she has been thinking about for a long time. For a long time, the center of her life has been a dress, and she is working hard to wear it. Lose weight. After wearing one, she will look for a tighter one and lose weight again for it.
After Amin lost weight for a few months, she suddenly regained weight. She thought she was thin enough and should. To reward herself, she began to eat foods that were forbidden in the diet. Moreover, during the long night, Amin was watching TV alone, hugging snacks and mouthing non-stop. It’s better to donate the money to Project Hope. Amin once again announced to us with a red face full of acne: “Starting from today, I will lose weight! ”
Keywords: “No, I have to take the certificate again.” ”
The so-called leading group office is a very vague organization that deals with some vague things. It is often put together by temporarily grabbing some people to deal with specific events at a specific period. This period or after this event has passed , such offices will disappear. For example, the Office of the Leading Group for Anti-Pornography and Anti-illegal Affairs, and the Office of the Leading Group for Certain Major Projects.
This is the office of the leading group.
1998. In October of that year, I left the nuclear power plant and returned to Shenzhen to look for a job. I loved writing and the thick copies of articles I had published in the Shenzhen Special Economic Zone Daily and the Shenzhen Business Daily made me stand out from the crowd. The mysterious "Leading Group Office" recruits me as a secretary, but they don't trust me to take meeting minutes for this major project leading group office. Most of the time, I only need to type out the meeting minutes written by the section chief.
When I was working in that organization, I couldn’t speak French at all, and I was basically just a senior typist. The leaders started to worry that I had too few things to do, and they asked me to work part-time as a cashier. It was during that period that I learned to open my orchid fingers. Counting money gracefully. And Yue is an accountant recruited by this organization.
I don’t understand how they recruited Yue out of a hundred people. I can’t see her business. There was something special about her, maybe because she was very obedient. Every day I watched the director and different deputy directors send large and small bills to Yue, asking her to make accounts in various names. All expenses are reported from here, and the invoices are always for office supplies.
The director and deputy directors use this place as a cash machine. Different times, what they put in is not cards, but colorful things. There was a director who was transferred from Beijing, and his expenses in Beijing a few years ago were openly reimbursed. But Yue was always able to save the day and keep the accounts watertight.
My task is very simple. Yue gave me the bill, I opened my hand gracefully with the orchid sign indicating that the money was good, and then signed my name, and Yue trotted all the way to deliver the money to the leader.
It was like this every day there. I watched the director and deputy director talk sonorously and forcefully about "anti-corruption and promoting integrity" in various meetings. As soon as the meeting ended, they came to our office. Withdrawal. As time passed, my initial anger turned into numbness.
Like all government agencies, this agency is very leisurely. I have nothing to do except typing and counting money. During working hours, Yue and I often chat.
The two of us occupy a large house of more than 40 square meters, equipped with a luxurious bathroom. We sit on the big black leather chair in front of the executive desk and spend long days. Every day, I The biggest pastime is watching the occasional birds flying over on the terrace, jumping and pecking in the bright sunshine.
Yue is very thin and a little hunchbacked. She has a small yellow face, large square teeth, and a few strands of hair hanging messily in front of her face, making her always look like she has just woken up. She graduated from a junior college, and it was not easy to find a satisfactory accounting position in the fiercely competitive Shenzhen. Her strength is that she is versatile and can speak to any leader she meets, and it is her responsibility to make smooth and safe withdrawals for the leader. So, she has been doing well over the years.
But Yue is always insecure and she is crazy about research. What abacus certificate, assistant accountant certificate, accountant certificate, economist certificate, and the certified public accountant certificate that she ambitiously wanted to attack.
She often stood in front of the executive desk, looking into the distance with blurred eyes, and said with a sallow face: "No, I have to take another exam for a certificate."
As long as it is popular She must sign up, review, and take the exam for He Yue's professional certificate. She used her working hours to sign up or ask various questions. Her reason was always: "I went to the bank to make a statement." After finishing the statement, Yue took back a pile of books. In the days that followed, I watched her with disheveled hair frowning and chewing on the book. I had no one to chat with, so I had to practice my five-stroke calligraphy.
Yue's life is extremely fulfilling. She is like a vigilant little beast, sniffing the air around her. As long as she captures new research information, she is always the first to rush forward. She leans forward when walking, taking small hurried steps. She is busy collecting information, signing up, buying books, reviewing, attending training classes, taking exams, getting certificates, and collecting new information every day.
I can’t remember exactly how many certificates Yue took. In short, she was armed with colorful certificates. But this did not make her feel more secure. Every day, she still said worriedly: "No, I have to take the exam again!"
Due to overstaffing, this leading group office is different from other institutions. Overlapping and extremely expensive, it was announced to be disbanded by the city government's top brass just after its tenth month of existence. Office directors, deputy directors, section chiefs, drivers and other personnel were all temporarily transferred from various agencies of the municipal government, and they returned to their original units. Only He Yue and I were recruited from the public. They gave us a symbolic severance package and let us take care of ourselves. This is also the first time in my life that I have passively lost my job.
With heavy hearts, Yue and I sat in the gray office at dusk. This was the last time we sat on the large leather sofa and in front of the luxurious executive desk, listening to the ticking of the leaking faucet in the high-end bathroom. Sound, we are all a little stupid.
Yue was silent for a moment, and suddenly her eyes sparkled. She pulled herself together and said to me: "It's okay. Fortunately, I have so many certificates! It will be easier to find a job. I'll take the exam again tomorrow." Proof! ”
(To be continued)
(Written in July 2005)
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