Hot jokes and cold jokes

Fahrenheit's funny dialogue! ! I have to watch! !

1. On Dadong's birthday, Chun Wu said, "I wish Dadong good health ..." Holding his breath, he said nothing.

Dadong got out of bed in the dormitory and looked for slippers for a long time. No, I asked everyone: Where are my slippers?

3. When shopping, Chun Wu suddenly exclaimed, "Wow! Virgin bookstore! " Confucians were frightened and looked up. It was a plaque with four big letters written on it-foreign language bookstore!

4. Aaron went to buy mutton kebabs, stretched out four fingers and said to the boss, "Three mutton kebabs." The boss got "how much?" Aaron held out three fingers and said "four" ...

The general manager of Flywheel Company is surnamed Zhou. As soon as he called, Chun Wu was driving. When he was nervous, he said, "Premier Zhou ..."

6. Aaron stood in line in the school cafeteria and heard him say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, laugh and spray soup.

7. One day, Aaron ate slowly in the rice noodle shop and was hungry. Finally, he couldn't bear it any longer, striking the table and growling. Originally he wanted to say that if he didn't go to the rice noodle shop, he would lift the table! The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "The whole store was silent for three seconds, and then burst into laughter under the table. ..........

8. Dong He 1R quarreled and said angrily, "I'll go out!"

9. Aaron plays basketball in high school. After A got the ball, he selflessly passed it to Aaron, who scored easily. After a while, Aaron got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. Aaron threw the ball himself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I was really blind just now ... The audience was dizzy with laughter.

10. The monitor of Dadong Impression Primary School is extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. After several times of maintaining order, the monitor was finally fed up. He stood up, patted the table and shouted, whoever makes any more noise will break his mouth! ! ! ..... class be quiet.

1 1. Aaron just went to the university for military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"

12. When cooking at noon, Aaron gave Dadong a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" "

13. Chun Wu once asked Aaron how to write festivals. Aaron replied: add a section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix!

14. When Dadong was looking for a job, the examiner asked him when he would graduate. Dadong was going to say 2000, but when he got excited, he said, "Two thousand years ago. . . "What's more, the examiner sighed and said," Confucius' student. "

15. Just after class 10 minutes, Aaron raised his hand and said, Teacher, I want to go to the toilet. The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you to go to the toilet?

16. I remember once Wang Yase went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? The boss froze on the spot.

18. Aaron's sister has her first period. She was embarrassed to find Aaron and ask him to buy sanitary napkins for her. Aaron reluctantly went to a small department store and said to the boss, a pack of sanitary napkins. The boss actually asked: Do you want three delicacies or spicy food? Aaron paused and said, Sam Sun, I'm afraid she can't stand spicy food. . .

19. It's easy to fall to the ground while dancing. Chun Wu asked, "Does your ass hurt?" As a result, I accidentally said, "Your ass fell to death." Khan ~ ~~~ 1R stood up and patted his ass, farted and said, "I'm not dead, I'm still breathing!" "

20. One day, Aaron ran out of phone bills and asked Dadong, "Dadong, do you have a toilet paper card to satisfy your hunger?"

2 1. dadong high school went out to work during the holidays and wanted to find a job as a restaurant waiter. Because I'm a child and it's my first job, I'm very nervous. I want to ask the manager if I need a job, but I want to ask if I need manpower. The result is: "Manager, do you need a beater here?"

22. Aaron asked Dadong to go to the market to buy food and prepare for cooking. Dadong buys lettuce and wants 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change to the peddler, and there was still a dime missing, so he said to the peddler, "I gave you all my hair, so there is no hair." The peddler was speechless for a long time and replied-"I don't want your hair."

23. Aaron doesn't like the smell of cigarettes. Generally, he said to smokers: all smokers are strangled! ! & lt is it pinched off >

24. Aaron and Dong remembered that when KFC went out to spread its wings and carry incense, they always thought that Liu Xiang was the endorsement of KFC because they didn't watch the advertisement and listened to what others said. When I arrived at KFC, Aaron told the waiter directly that I wanted Liu Xiang to spread his wings. . .

25. The ultimate class Wang Dadong and others went to a small shop for dinner. There were quite a lot of people in the shop at that time. A fat waiter is as busy as a bee. Dadong shouted "waiter ~ ~" and the girl ran over: "What are the accounts of several nodes?" When everyone falls down, we will go to this restaurant for dinner later. When we order food, we will shout "waiter pays" and then shout "order!" ! "

26. Dadong met Chun Wu in the bathroom. Suddenly, he didn't know what words to use to say hello. The tie asked, "Have you eaten?" After asking, he felt annoyed and embarrassed about Chun Wu. He replied, "Yes, and you?"

27. When Chun Wu asked about the exchange rate between RMB and Japanese yen, he asked Aaron: How do apes exchange with Japanese yen? Fahrenheit watched Prison Break. When a man pulled out a blade from his mouth to kill someone, Dadong suddenly popped out, "Wow, you can still talk with your mouth hidden in the blade." . . . "

28. After the agent gave Feifei an impassioned New Year speech, the last sentence reached its climax: Handsome guys, let's do our work better this year than next year! The whole audience fell.

29. The senior teachers in Allen are very capable. One day, he said, "Take out your homework, let's check the answers, cross the correct ones, and then write the correct answers on them ..."

30. Chun Wu has recently taken a liking to poetry, which runs counter to it every day: "There are countless beauties in mountains and rivers, and heroes shoot eagles. . . . . . "

3 1. Aaron was having dinner with a group of friends, and one of them was probably betrayed by his brother. He was depressed and drank a lot of beer, then he stood up with a red face and shouted at his brother! Not for sale! ! ! I think what I'm trying to say is that brothers are not for sale

32. Dadong went to the electricity department to buy anti-virus software. In a hurry, as soon as he entered the store, he asked, Boss, do you sell Pakistan (Kaspersky)? Suddenly, a burst of laughter! ~~~

33. One of Aaron's classmates has been reviewing for the computer exam. One day, while playing football, another classmate took the ball to the baseline, and Aaron only heard him shout: Enter! Get back in the car!