Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Excuse me, what is the total score of Zhanjiang's senior high school entrance examination next year?
Excuse me, what is the total score of Zhanjiang's senior high school entrance examination next year?
One day, I came across a mysterious map with the word "happiness" on it. I opened it curiously and carefully embarked on a journey to find the treasure of happiness along the rugged and winding route.
First stop: going home.
"Jingle bell! Ding Lingling! " Pa ",I struggled to climb out of the quilt in a deep sleep. When the curtains were opened, the bright sunshine quickly lit up the whole room through the clean window glass. Out of the room, I saw grandma busy in the kitchen, making delicious breakfast and taking care of grandpa in the hall. After a while, in the face of rich aroma, grandma smiled and handed out milk and eggs, which were nutritious and delicious. I quickly pulled out my chair and sat down, picked up my breakfast and wolfed it down because I was afraid of being robbed. Grandpa watched me eat funny and said with a smile, "You seem to be very interested in African refugees." I laughed and almost choked. Three people chat and enjoy your delicious food. Everything is so harmonious and warm.
Station: Bus.
Every day at school, I go by bus. At rush hour, the carriages are always full, and everyone's crowding makes the air thin. Grandma got on the bus with a basket on her back, and a beautiful scene was staged: a young man saw a weak old lady, stood up quickly, walked to the old lady with his right hand around his waist, and took her hand with his left hand to escort her to the seat. The car instantly * * * Naruto praise eye actor. When I got off the bus, I felt very comfortable, as if I were singing to the melodious birds.
: school
At school, students greet each other. You see, the little expression, he found that his little rubber B patted his shoulder when he saw the hand on the seat, and said with a kind look, "I want to take you." After that, he handed me his little rubber eyes and showed me his clever double-sided head. His mouth turned up. He said gratefully, "Thank you." C, who was playing in the corridor, strode past when he saw the complete working Chinese teacher's two-handed weapons and the burden of meteors on the ground. The teacher looked at the faltering back and knew that little C was laughing. I saw the teacher smiling, and I felt myself smiling.
......
After finishing the map, I bowed my head because I didn't find the treasure at the end of the line. But look, I think I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. It turns out that I am looking for and cherishing precious happiness in the process! Homepage, bus, school ... these seemingly ordinary places are full of happy elements.
In fact, life is so frustrating, all the time and excitement. These happy elements come from people's inner world. Sincere feelings have brought them into every corner of society and dribs and drabs of life.
& gt My treasure hunt is over. If you want to grab my happiness map, don't worry, I'll tell you a secret-that is, I have a pair of eyes to discover beauty and a pure heart.
/a & gt;
Failure is success.
Face life with a smile, a person's life, a mother who lost a lot of things. Among them, there are many things that fail. What are the differences in the face of failure? People will have different attitudes. When I heard someone do this, I didn't collapse immediately, and I felt inferior all day long. In the face of failure, they always actively look for the reasons for the failure of restart.
He said, "Failure is the mother of success." Romain rolland said, "Turn grief into strength." In fact, when we face failure, we should not collapse, but learn to smile and face failure mercilessly. Failure is no big deal, because being cruel to the enemy will affect your judgment. We should take failure seriously. Only in this way can we defeat it. Winning or losing is a common occurrence in military strategists.
& gt At all times and in all countries, billions of successful people are facing failure in their life. Some of them encountered difficulties in retirement, made some efforts and persisted in the end. If you meet the brave in the narrow road, you will win. Only when you become the last person, the other two are the opposite.
Former US President abraham lincoln is a very typical example. When he was young, he worked in business and was elected as a member of parliament. The Immigration Bureau tried nearly 20 times and failed. But he eventually became the Lincoln of America. On the contrary, Simon, a senior general of the Kuomintang army, is one of the greatest presidents in history. Is General Xue's title of "Tiger" an effective way to get rid of anger? May-ling Song's. His strategists skillfully repelled the snowstorms that hit Japan many times and were widely deified by the media. Because of pride, he was killed and defeated by Japan. Since then, the South China Tiger has never conducted any decent activities. ,
On the long road of life, we will encounter many failures, large and small. On the whole, some failures are beyond our psychological endurance. However, we should not be discouraged, and we should not give up because of failure, which is equivalent to giving up. At any time, we should go forward bravely, strive to overcome failure or success, without any distractions, not only hard work, but also music affects judgment. /& gt;
My heart is full of joy, because streams, rivers and oceans can have a far-reaching blue sky, and the sun is more brilliant because it works behind the scenes with Kan, together with the gorgeous performers on the stage.
At the end of 12, the atmosphere was filled with joy, and the smiling faces of pedestrians could be seen everywhere on the newly decorated street. The class is about to be organized in the new year, and I secretly look forward to it, hoping to become one of the hosts.
Hosting the ban in the new year is one thing, and I have been looking forward to it for a long time. Beautiful clothes, beautiful pronunciation, and the eyes of the audience ... presided over several flag-raising ceremonies, probably a choice. ,
Imagine yourself standing in front of the stage, filled with joy.
Host news, however, I am the writer who hosts the draft. ? I asked almost anxiously, but I didn't hear his name.
My heart seems to sink into the cold ocean. I seem to see others become the spotlight stage, but I can only watch quietly.
Thinking, his eyes glanced at a dress-my artistic costume at the film festival. I thought I couldn't help it, but I went back to the past. Before the concert stage, waiting for the background of that day. Unexpectedly, the background can be so vivid. Prop group, makeup group ... We are all very busy and live behind the scenes, but everyone's face is full of smiles, as if proudly saying, "Even if he is just a behind-the-scenes worker, he can perform silently and do something, and the same joy is also worthy of pride." "
I can't help thinking about it, but I'm relieved. I sat down at my desk and began to think quietly. Isn't it the same pride to be able to write brilliantly under the auspices?
Behind the scenes, Naoto Kan is willing to be a foil, a record, an tolerance and a spirit. Maybe when I was sitting in the audience watching the host read it out, like me, I was glad that I was behind the scenes.
Thought of here, my heart is full of joy.
Jasmine blossoms.
In the classroom, the students were listening attentively, and suddenly there was a muffled sound outside the classroom. Followed by a small part, hehe! Grandma has been dissatisfied for many days. The eyes of the students gathered on her, and she waved me out. The next huge red-faced audience walked out of the classroom.
Grandma and you touched my head and squinted and said, "I don't have my old house yet!" " "Look back at today!" I realized that I had not satisfied his grandmother because I had been in the academic weight for three days for a long time. I subconsciously nodded and smiled at my grandmother. school ......
After the old house is really old.
I pushed open the door, and the old door met my grandmother. She was very kind and kind-hearted. She poured a cup of tea, and the smell of tea filled the whole room instantly. My product, tea, grandma, soak the jasmine tea at home! "She shook her head, fingers lit, full of moss budding jasmine. Xia yueguang
The sunset climbed the treetops. My grandmother will be happy if she doesn't leave.
The old house is really old.
Then, he pushed open the old door of another student, and it was no longer grandma's kind face that met him. However, her fragrance seems to have left the house at full speed. Leave an immortal legend.
When I entered the room, it was no longer laughter. Only the chirping insects were afraid of loneliness that summer night, because I sang Ode to Joy. Before that, there were jasmine flowers with moss on the stone. The fragrance filled the whole house.
Ah! Grandma, did you see that? And Molly! Suddenly, my heart was full of faith. The old woman who never left her. Yeah! Grandma is that Molly! The smell of the wind blowing gently on my nose floated by. It is so soft and comfortable.
I came to an open jasmine and looked at the height of white clouds in the sky. The wind sang softly, as if everything was so quiet and peaceful.
I spent Molly's heart crying softly: Ah! Grandma, did you see that? The jasmine is in bloom! Fengfei, what do you see?
I put my grandmother, my love, back to the home page in the quiet temperature of moonlight.
Angela Moonlight, the clearest and warmest sunshine I have ever tasted, is the warmest one for me. Strange mountain and strange water, I like the heaviest person-love.
Extraordinary support for the world
The dark sky and the cold wind on the cement road are particularly deserted.
In the morning, I went to school. My mother said, "The temperature dropped to my coat today. I walked through the warm corridor and just left the living room door. A gust of wind blew, and I immediately felt cold, as if I suddenly arrived at the North Pole. " "-CHO:" I sneezed. At this time, I saw a tractor standing on the side of the road, with a red nose and pale face, his body in his pocket and his hands shaking all the time.
After a while, a farmer in his fifties appeared. He is thin, wearing a blue coat, trousers, light-colored trousers and a black hat. His shining face can't be considered as just a gentle eye, but it stands out from his eyes. His smiling mouth showed slightly yellow teeth, rough pine bark on the back, cracked index finger and thick calluses on his palm. He tugged at the four corners of the quilt and shouted, "sell your own vegetables!" Fresh vegetables! Celery, vegetables, Chinese cabbage, tomatoes ... "
Oh! It turns out that the food they sell has opened a corner in our house from the countryside. Thick quilt, I immediately looked at the vegetable quilt, which contained all kinds of colorful vegetables. The cabbage as crystal as jade, the tomato with a girl's face flushed with pride, the leek and the emerald garlic are fresh and tender. I rushed forward and asked, "Uncle, where are these dishes going?" Xinglin. "Wow, it's far away, they will definitely get up early ..." I mean, to myself. My uncle here seems to see what I'm thinking and says with a smile, "In the past, half of us got up at four or five o'clock." "So early, if I were ..." I whispered.
The school was in a hurry, so I left in the cold. When I went back, I found it a hundred times. They still enthusiastically shouted to continue to invite quilts and cover their favorite dishes.
Because of their hard work, our life has brought more convenience. "ah! Thanks to ordinary and extraordinary people!
Learning to listen is very important for everyone. Learn to listen, and you can get a lot. When listening to others, learn to respect others. Others say that jokes may be a great gain, and life philosophy and classic language can help you write more brilliant words and articles. Only by learning to listen can you know how to respect others. Only by learning to listen can you acquire more philosophical and classical languages. Only by learning to listen can we have a positive heart. Only by learning to listen, can you find any kind of voice that makes people think infinitely.
In life, I like girls who love to laugh, because I can listen, because I know how to learn, how good it is to listen, and how to make others happy. Whenever I listen to this lesson in class, I naturally feel that I should know how to study and review the key points. I don't like other students in class and talk a lot in class. I will listen carefully to the teacher's analysis of each step, so that I can learn more knowledge. At home, I always hear grandma talk about what happened at this time. Grandma said that at this time, if something bothers me, I would comfort her and coax her: Happy New Year and tell her a joke. In society, I always listen to the voices of street children and watch how their lives go to orphanages. Spend time with them and tell them stories. Whenever these orphans tell stories, they always listen carefully. I think how much respect they will have.
Even these children know that we respect them. Shouldn't we listen to their voices carefully? In our daily life, many children in single-parent families are indifferent to the insults and ridicule of others when they look down on others. Shouldn't these people wake you up? You'd be mocking and insulting. What's your mood now? They didn't, they never listened carefully, so they shouldn't be respected and loved.
Don't listen to children's voices when you are bored, listen to parents' voices, and listen to our grandparents' voices. At that time, you will understand and learn to listen, and you will get many, many happy life ideas.
Friends, at any time, we should learn to listen, respect and care for them, so that you can get their respect and love for yourself.
Listening can purify our hearts and improve the quality of products. Our listening can make us get a lot of philosophical listening and make us happy. Learn to listen, and it is respected.
I hope each of us will learn to listen and influence them with our heart. Learn to listen and let more people know that the voice in the world is so beautiful. Learn to listen to gain more respect. Learn to listen, let more people need love, let the pain that can be released get more people's love in my mind, and let them no longer feel lonely and sad.
Under the care of his mother, the baby smiled. I don't know how many times I have laughed. How many times have you played with your friends, innocent and happy? I wonder how happy their parents praised me. I don't know how many times I smiled proudly. However, I laughed happily, because I really understood the true meaning of life.
On that day last summer, my sister and I played in the park, ate ice cream, drank wine, played bumper cars and fished goldfish. We were really happy. "Look!" My sister cried, and when I looked back, I found a blind old man banging on a bamboo pole. My sister and I went to the topic, hehe, my grandfather lost as much as 20 yuan to buy a birthday present for his grandson. Sister said, "Never mind, Grandpa, we will help you find it!" " "Then, we began to look for. Shrubs, garbage and cracks in cement are everywhere, and there is not a trace of $20.
"Well, son, I went back and got some money, maybe not the shop in the door." Grandpa said helplessly.
"Grandpa, let's take a look again."
At this time, my sister tugged at my clothes, glanced at my pocket, and then looked at me. Oh-I see. -But ... I asked, "Don't you want to continue playing? We didn't go home to see the senator's grandfather. " My sister said, "Our teacher often tells us:" The traditional virtue of China people's willingness to help others. "Don't you want to be a good son and daughter, the country of China? But ................................................................................................................................................................................ "Okay," I said. "In fact, I have planned to do this for a long time. According to her sister, I will put the remaining 20 dollars in your pocket. I ran away from his grandfather and said, "Grandpa, I found the money. "Oh, thank you, it costs 5 yuan!" Grandpa said and took out a five-dollar coin from his pocket. I quickly said, "No!" " Then, we help grandpa pick up his birthday present and send him home. & ltBR/ On the way home, I joked with his sister: "You did a good thing!" Sister smiled and said, "Are you happy to do something?" The greatest happiness in life is to help others? Lei Feng once said: "Limited life serves the people infinitely."
I smiled at that time, and I was very happy. The sunset seems to be smiling, looking at the smile that reflects half the sky. .......
love
The world, moved by love, the world, moved by gratitude, can be said to be unloved people, unmoved, and the beautiful spark of gratitude bouquet will quietly ignite in your heart. ...
-inscription
The maternal love in the first chapter taught me to be grateful.
In 2008, I hurried past a twelve-year-old mother for several years. I am anxious and tired. In return, its only daughter grew up in 12. Eating and eating, the mother who can't see her head has some wrinkles in her eyes, which is more and more like a river. After dinner, I walked alone on the night of sales. Quietly, I looked up at the sky, as if all the stars were engraved with a familiar word-mom. ......
After my daughter grew up and my mother did it, I learned some simple housework, such as mopping the floor, cleaning the table, washing dishes and washing clothes ... more and more. I learned to do housework, and my mother often lamented that "my daughter has grown up." I'm happy, too, mom. School logistics is grateful!
At school, like her mother, I looked up at the moon in the sky and smiled at me as if to say, "My daughter, a mother like her!" " The corners of my mouth also rose slightly. ......
The second chapter, the teacher's kindness, let me know how grateful.
"Silkworms will weave until they die in spring, and candles will drain the wick every night." Teachers are candles, like silkworms, and we sacrificed ourselves. "In the silent night, the stars ..." This song praises the great teacher. Who knows the Lantern Festival when the teacher corrects homework? Who knows how many times the teacher disobeyed the students? There is an old saying: "One day, as a teacher, he quietly shed tears. Who knows a young teacher? It's the end of the year, who knows? ...
Under the guidance of the teacher, we know how to be grateful. Father. Teacher, are you good to me? I have no teeth. I won't forget your sweat. I've already paid. I must repay you with my best grades. ...
There is love, thank you for your love. ......
-P.S.
Climbing this page, even if something is wonderful, it is also very exciting. There is no need to indulge all day, and it has a long aftertaste. In order to satisfy the vanity of self-appreciation, it is an inscription.
It is said that everything has a destiny, and a clear conscience, peace and health are blessings. No one can shine with the sun and the moon, and no one will be different. Perfection is just a hazy ideal. I haven't seen my own crop, Jie Jun's cream. Self-confidence is important, but it should never be arrogant, because a proud, impatient and rash complaint, if everyone else is a fool, people who can't stand analysis and discussion will think that the world is unfair.
In fact, in reality, if there are any difficulties, there will be no miracle of life, no ups and downs of life, and no taste of happiness. No matter how many things, as long as you gently open the page like a diary, the complexity becomes simple.
Memory is a strange thing. The more you try to forget, the more you forget. This is a normal law. As the saying goes, emotions often exceed the yearning for a rational future. As a person, irrational, existential and self-disciplined, there is no need to dwell on the past of success or failure and waste limited life on endless memories.
Turning a new page gently does not mean giving up completely, but forgetting those unpleasant events, those ruthless gossip, the pain caused by an individual's sniper's shot and hidden weapons, and many meaningless behaviors. The tolerant screen retains exciting new developments and deepens friendship with the most beautiful chapters of the past. Although the action is very difficult, we can't afford to lose the courage to make decisions, that is to say, if people don't have courage, life is worthless. Turning a new page gently is to clear her mind, liberate the original intention of the revolution, and clean the room. Although it is tired and sweaty, it makes people have fresh eyes-
Unnecessary tears bid farewell to yesterday's memories. There is no need to keep things that have not belonged to you all these years. Boldly put forward your own pace, no one can accompany you for a long time and indulge in the sunset. If you want to have an ideal confidant, you must be thoroughly remoulded, novel and developed. They must stand up and find the coordinates. The coordinates belong to you, not to ask for them. Don't trust them and don't waste other people's time. Unfortunately, they will never be so slow on the road they choose.
grow up
One day, my mother, I put my room. In this process, we found many objects to prove that I have grown up.
Object: 1 year-old dressed
I opened a big wardrobe, turned around for a while, and suddenly found a small jumpsuit. This jumpsuit is milky white and the buttons on it are bright red. The red button is white, and the bottom is brighter, like snow sprinkled on safflower. "This is when I get dressed!" She held her clothes high and asked her mother, "am I serious?" How so small! "Mom straightened up and said with a smile," Yes, you have grown so much. Ah, now you are so tall! " "In fact, I am now 1.69 m 3. I can pick up that jumpsuit and make a gesture. Haha, the old jumpsuits are now short enough to make T-shirts! One-year-old witness's clothes grow on me.
Object: ballet shoes
In a box, I found a bag for clothes. I practiced ballet. There are clothes and some shoes. I chose a pair of dancing shoes and observed them carefully. Their front parts have been worn out, revealing the lining inside. I can't help but want to pass 2-5 exams. I do countless spirals, kicks and other sports in these shoes. More importantly, I will try to wear these shoes to keep my waist healthy. I went back to countless clothes soaked in sweat many times, but the final success always made people happy. Before I witnessed the ballet, I learned the process of persistence.
Object: Give full play to noisy things.
Mother took out a storage bag, which contained yellow, handmade data packets. Open the bag, there are three toy mobile phones, and the wallet is full of fake money. One is a strange name and easy-to-set number in the contact address book, and the other is an all-silver "wallet". This is a steak restaurant. Seeing this, I can't help laughing. I told you these things. I was still playing there last semester in the sixth grade! But now I like martial arts, and I spit on it. This summer, I grew up and made further progress. The data packet witness is full of fun.
When I finished this time, I grew up in the process of discovery. Ah, I'm growing up!
beautiful
You're telling me to leave childish things. The most beautiful scenery in my life, America is such a wonderful rainbow.
You are the most beautiful scenery in my life, as bright as the beautiful sun.
However, no matter when, you have always been beautiful in my heart, a simple beauty, a deep happiness and beauty. I strolled along the picturesque seaside avenue, breathing the fresh and sweet air. You don't know, your favorite flowers with dew are all over the yard, and my heart is warm. I saw seven colors of rosy clouds floating in the sky, shining brightly.
I have been wandering in your love corridor. You are a soft picture, a simple and profound beauty that is often touched by simple deep ink mountains and rivers.
How important and valuable America is. I have never told you, I think you don't know if I love you in my heart, and it is difficult for my pen to flow to America, but I know that you are in my life, like warm sunshine in winter and cool wind in summer. In my life, I am very grateful to you for crossing the tunnel and space. In the sunset, butterflies walked briskly, giving off a string of silvery laughter. The story of water, wind and car flow is an interesting fairy tale, which can be clearly seen so far. Maple leaves in Xia Hong are like flying leaves, covered with beautiful memories in the same place. When you put down the attitude of soothing the liver, the faint ink of prose poems is still as clear as yesterday.
In the journey of life, I step on your footsteps, which is one step at a time. You are a beautiful scenery in my life, with the same sweetness, rain and sunshine warmth.
Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? You are like a rich person in my heart, and I have been trying to figure out your intentions. Collect the most wonderful chapters in my heart. With your deep love and warm care, I think I will never grow up.
Never loved you, you have always been my favorite. I won't tell you, you are the most beautiful scenery in my mind. I am satisfied with the scenery, which makes me worry about touching the sad scenery.
I am lucky that you are in my life, because your life has become more beautiful and happy, and I will cherish this deep affection. I know there will be many scenery on my life, and you will always be in my heart, the most beautiful scenery.
The road or road ahead
From the moment we are born, our life will begin. The road of life is tortuous and complicated, seemingly one road, and the end point is another road, starting from here. Life is not always too high to be cold, and it is not blindly depressed. It is the original intention of life to walk well all the way.
Success always stands behind failure. The Spanish team, which had high hopes, was defeated on the court, and the players returned to the embrace of the motherland in despair. Looking at the enthusiasm of a plane of fans, the banner "Everything will pass" made them deeply moved. A few years later, when they won the championship from abroad, they were still welcomed by enthusiastic fans, but the words on the flag became "All this will pass." Smart fans inspire their idols in this way. Yes, everything will be final, no matter success or failure, when the bustling dust is cleared, waiting for us is a new beginning. Life has no end, no end. On the road of life, how can you see the rainbow without experiencing wind and rain? How can we succeed without failure? As long as your success is not far away.
The real winner will be successful, because the single Madame Curie, the youngest daughter of a toy, won two Nobel Prizes. She said, "I want the children to know that all this is not eternal." Clever Madame Curie, she really understood the success in the sense. She knows that success is only a short road. When it is successfully placed in front of you, it also means that the next round of efforts has begun. Honor will dissipate with the wind, and fame will float over the water. The only constant is the persistent belief in their hearts. As a soloist, they will realize what they will understand, what they should do and more will continue to develop.
Never stop the essence of success. Qian Xuesen, a famous scientist, repeatedly blocked him from returning to China, but he never gave up? Return to China. After returning to China, he engaged in China's space industry and developed the "two bombs" at an alarming speed, making China a world power and winning a place in the forest world of China. He will never stop the rapid development of China's space industry. From "Shenzhou 5" to "God", the dream of a manned rocket landing on the moon. After he and his colleagues have made it clear by actions that they are truly successful, only by going forward bravely can they make more achievements, and the results of any small achievements will be submerged. "
The celebrity said, "God, you open a window and close a window." Is life an eternal deadlock? In fact, every seemingly coming clue has a "way out". Tao or the road ahead of life is not always successful. Only the struggle and progress starting from the second success can lead to greater glory.
That's enough.
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