Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Seven things that men make women crazy.

Seven things that men make women crazy.

Crazy thing 1: Why do men always teach people how to do it?

If a man asks another man's opinion, the person who is asked will feel honored.

Sarah was unlucky in the company that day: the boss gave her trouble, and the administrative department blamed her for the mistake. She lost her wallet and broke her nails. She felt that the world was falling apart. After returning home, she prepared a sumptuous dinner and looked forward to Andy's return, so that the husband and wife could chat intimately.

But Andy also had a hard day. When he got home, he said hello to Sarah in a hurry, and then sat on the sofa watching the news report. Sarah looks at the prepared dishes and tells Andy that dinner will be ready in 15 minutes.

Andy thinks, "Great! There is a quiet time of 15 minutes before eating. "

Sarah thought, "Great! You can chat 15 minutes before eating. "

Sarah went on to say, "Honey, how was your day?"

Andy: "Not bad."

Sarah: "Today is the saddest day of my life. I really can't stand it! " "

Andy (half his attention is still on the news): "What can't you stand?"

Sarah: "when I get to the office in the morning, my boss finds fault with me ... he doesn't listen to me at all!" I ... "

Andy: "Sarah, listen, it's simple." Don't force yourself to do bad things. Go to the company tomorrow and tell him that you can't finish two cases at the same time. Ask him which one he wants to do first He must make another appointment or ask someone to help you with these two cases. "

Sarah: "My God, you are giving me orders, too!" " Why don't you listen to me? I really can't stand men. I always thought I knew more. "

Andy: "Come on, Sarah. If you don't want to listen to my advice, do it yourself and stop complaining to me! "

Sarah: OK, scold me! I want to find someone who will listen to me and won't accuse me of doing anything wrong! Find a way to eat by yourself! I'm going out, I don't know when I'll be back! "

For men and women in the world, this kind of scene is very common. In the end, Sarah felt disappointed and thought Andy didn't love her and was hurt. Andy is innocent, too. He feels that he has been bitten by a dog and is very confused.

Men always don't understand that women complain not to solve problems, but to relieve stress. If a woman is in a bad mood or stressed and wants to talk to someone, there is a simple technique that can make you talk to a man smoothly. You can say, "I have to tell you something. But I don't need a solution. I just want you to listen to me. " Hearing these words, a man will be very happy because he knows what he should do.

Crazy thing 2: Why do men keep changing channels with the remote control?

Men don't want to know what's on now, they just want to know what's on TV.

In ancient times, when a man came home from hunting all day, he just sat in front of the fire and stared at the flame all night without moving or talking. This is a valuable way for men to relax and recharge their batteries for the next day's activities. Modern men still have the habit of staring at the fire at the end of the day, but the fire has been replaced by newspapers, books and TV remote controls.

Women hate the behavior of men turning over the table with the remote control. After a long day, women like to sit down and watch TV to relax, especially some dramas related to human nature and feelings. According to her brain structure, she will pay attention to every word and body movement of the actor and like to guess the next plot from it. She even likes watching advertisements.

But men watch TV to satisfy two main desires. First, enjoy the fun of analyzing problems. Only when he watches more channels will he find more problems and think about the solutions he needs. Second, by looking at other people's problems, to forget your own, this is a way to eliminate stress. As long as a person concentrates on one thing, he can leave his troubles behind. Women are different. If a woman has troubles, no matter what she does, they still occupy her heart. Only by saying it will she feel better.

Therefore, if a woman wants to solve this problem, she must explain to him calmly. If he keeps changing channels like that, he will drive her crazy. She can also try to hide the remote control in a place he would never expect, so that he won't look for it.

Crazy thing 3: Why don't men stop and ask for directions?

Men don't get lost, they just find a new home.

Men can find their seats in the audience accurately when watching the game on the court; You can find your own parking space in the parking lot, and you can go back to the place where you have only been once. This is because throughout the ages, men have been using the part of the brain that processes space to catch prey and hit the target. During this period, men develop a good sense of direction and can retrace their steps intuitively, so they can hunt in the distance and then find their way home.

The woman in charge of housekeeping will not venture to the ends of the earth. A sense of direction is not necessary for them, nor is it their job: if she can find trees, lakes or hills, she can find her way home. This is the main key when a man wants to tell a woman the direction. If he tells her to find a road with a big oak tree, and then walk to the international bank across the lake, there is a pink house next to the bank, so that she won't get lost. If he tells her to take Highway 23, get off at the third exit on the west and drive five kilometers north, he may never see her again.

To let a person admit that he is lost is to let him admit that his skill-finding the way-is useless. He would rather be roasted on an iron plate than admit it to a woman. So, you can try to buy him a map or guide and put it in the car. In an emergency, there is a safe way to tell him that you are in a hurry to go to the toilet, which will force him to stop at the gas station. When you go to the toilet, he will have time to pretend to buy things and then ask the way.

Crazy thing 4: Why do men insist on lifting the toilet seat?

Men never carry cheerleaders when they go to the bathroom.

The toilet used to be a small box at the back of the house. When a woman wants to go to the toilet, she will ask another woman to go with her for safety reasons. Men generally don't pee in the toilet. When they urinate, they all inherit the habits of their ancestors. They are in the bushes or facing something, such as a wall or a tree, and just like animals, it also means dividing territory. /kloc-In the late 20th century, the toilet was invented, and the toilet had its own space in the house. Women who want to go to the bathroom are still used to calling their friends. You'll never hear a man say, "Hey, Ed, I'm going to the bathroom ... Are you coming?"

Now public toilets all over the country are equipped separately for men and women. Sitting toilets are for women, and urinals against the wall are for men. But men are still beaten because the toilet at home is more suitable for women. At home, men should lift the toilet seat to avoid getting wet. If he forgets to put it down afterwards, he will be severely criticized. At this time, if a woman rudely orders him to put down the toilet seat instead of coaxing him or simply doing it himself, it will really annoy him.

At this time, if a man refuses, don't get excited. You can tell him firmly that you intend to change the rules at home: from now on, cleaning the toilet is his job. In other words, when cleaning the water stains on the floor every day, men may reconsider whether to sit in the toilet. ...

Crazy thing 5: Why don't men like shopping?

In the process of evolution, men gradually became able to kill their prey quickly and then go home early. ...

One advantage of being a man is that he can buy two suits, three shirts, a belt, three ties and two pairs of shoes in less than eight minutes. These clothes will last a man nine years. He can also spend 40 minutes on Christmas Eve at 4: 30 pm to buy presents for his family. He can make them himself.

The reason couldn't be simpler. Men in primitive times played with hunters, so they developed a tubular vision, and they could quickly move their eyes from point A to point B. When shopping, if they want to find what they want to buy successfully, they need to constantly make a Z-shaped shuttle between people and goods, which will make men feel extremely uncomfortable. And in the process of evolution, men gradually became able to kill their prey quickly and then go home early. Men go shopping like that now.

The way women shop is the same as the way their ancestors collected food: choose a good day and find a group of women to go where they remember good fruits. They don't need a specific goal or direction, and there is no time limit. They can spend the whole day wandering around, tasting the food they find and chatting around the world. At the end of the day, they go home, even if they don't care about anything, they will still feel that the day is full. For men, this is incredible. Because men feel that if there is no destination, no clear goal, or no time limit, they still go home empty-handed, that is a loser. So, if you want a man to wait in the "boring husband seat" outside the dressing room, you must help him prepare something to eat. Never ask him, "Do I look good in blue or gold?" As soon as he was asked such a question, he became nervous, because he knew his answer was always wrong, so he was doomed to fail.

But even with these strategies, most men can only persist for about half an hour. If you really want him to go shopping with you, I strongly suggest you find a place with a large hardware store nearby.

Crazy thing 6: Why does every man have annoying habits?

Why do men fart more than women?

In any country, women will complain that men have unacceptable habits. Among the habits that women can't stand the most, the first ones are picking their nostrils, burping, body odor, wearing old underwear and scratching their crotch. But what women can't stand most is farting.

Women are completely disgusted with farting. They don't care that it means good health and good digestive function. Men are different. Farting is a pastime for men. 10-year-old boys will fart as a show off. If there are ways to fart in different situations, such as imitating sounds or shooting blue flames with lighters, it will become the object of worship for boys, and those who are good at burping will have to wait behind him.

To improve the situation of farting, please try to provide a healthy meal that will not promote farting, and give the man a cup of mint tea instead of coffee after the meal. A balanced diet is also effective, because the diet will not be in the same meal, including both protein and carbohydrates.

At the same time, encourage men to chew slowly when eating, and don't eat while watching TV. As a reminder, drinking water during meals will dilute digestive juice, so the chance of farting after meals will greatly increase.

Crazy thing 7: Why do men like low-level jokes?

Laughter is the main way for men to deal with painful emotions.

The function of laughter in ancient times was to remind others of the approaching danger, which can also be seen in today's apes. For example, if a chimpanzee is attacked by a lion, but it escapes, it will climb a tree, turn its head, and then make a series of whistles, which sounds like human laughter. This move is to warn other chimpanzees that they are in danger.

Men like logical and step-by-step jokes, but the results are surprising. Men's brains have amazing memory and storage capacity for jokes, and some even remember jokes they heard in the fourth grade of primary school. Men think many things are funny, such as coating the toilet seat with super glue or wrapping it with plastic wrap, holding a fart contest, or tying the drunk groom-to-be naked to a lamppost. For most women, these things are not funny at all.

Jokes are such an important communication medium for men that every time an international disaster happens, men will send jokes related to the event to each other by email. Whether it's Princess Diana's accident, 911incident, or searching for bin Laden, men's brains will be activated immediately.

In the face of serious emotional events, the differences between men and women can be seen here. When a disaster or tragedy happens, women will express their emotions to others; But men don't. They suppressed their emotions. In order not to show a strong emotional reaction, men will "talk" about the incident by telling jokes, so that they will not be regarded as weak. Laughter is the main way for men to deal with painful emotions. The more sad he feels, the more he laughs when telling related jokes about things he doesn't want to say.

If a man doesn't look at the time and occasion and doesn't want to shut up, you can tell him that you don't like his jokes and hope he will stop; If he doesn't listen, keep talking, or go away and do something else. Men are afraid that women will turn a blind eye to him. If you ignore him, he will feel bored instead.

After understanding how men's brains work, you will find it quite pleasant to get along with men. The key is to know how to get along with them. It is useless to quarrel, get angry and get depressed. Only in this way can the two sexes live in harmony.